Subject: Re: Give me the gas, please & a Satanic message for Bob

Date: Sun, 16 Nov 1997 20:04:52 GMT

From: voyde@mindspring.com (Nolan Voyde)

Organization: MindSpring Enterprises, Inc.

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1 , 2

 

Sketchy Albedo <revjack@radix.net> wrote:

>Damn. How about we just send you to Georgia?

>--

>_________________

>revjack@radix.net

>Accretion

 

I just spent 18 years in Georgia, two of them doing a radio show on

WREK for this Church. Now, do you understand my attitude a little

better?

 

Speaking of my attitude, my hobby is collecting propaganda

from all sorts of hate-groups. I have in-house literature from Nazis,

Muslims, anarchists, right-wing Christians, Satanists (exceptionally

stupid stuff!), Black Israelites, BabySue, the KKK and other assorted

weirdos. Maybe I just read too much of this stuff, but on the other

hand, Norman Vincent Peale pisses me off and bums me out even WORSE!

But I always rally and start shooting back, praise "Bob"!

The Satanists sent me an unsolicited package of about two hundred

pages of literature(?) accompanied by a 90-minute cassette of their

moronic rantings. It came addressed to Nolan Voyde,so obviously my

connection to "Bob" is why they sent it. No return address, but it

had a New Orleans cancellation. Sure wish LaVey had autographed it.

Funny thing, the Satan stuff includes a letter from Father Lou C. Furr

to a guy named Bob. I'll bet Stang's got one just like it. Since the

package was sent anonymously with no threats about copyright

violations, I'll reproduce the letter to Bob here for the edification

of the Church membership who are so far unblessed by it's important

message of hope and salvation. All punctuation, spelling, etc. is

exactly as in letter. [sic] indicates typos as in letter.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Fr. Lou,

You hear all kinds of things about the devil these days. There are

people practicing devil worship and black magic. Even the lyrics of

some songs encourage devil worship. Do you think the devil is

becoming stronger? Love, Bob.

 

Dear Bob,

No, Bob, Satan is not getting stronger. The All-Powerful Master of

the Whole Universe CAN'T get stronger! What we see happening in te

world today, Bob, is people realizing (at last!) that Satan is indeed

more powerful than "God" and his son, Jesus. So, the increase of

Devil Worship activity we hear so much about is simply evidence, Bob,

that the world is finally on the brink of giving Satan, the Prince of

Darkness, the worship and service he has always deserved. I realize,

Bob, that you may find all this Satanic activity a little frightening,

but that's only because you have been misinformed about Satan and his

enemies, Jesus Christ and his Father in Heaven. But you're not alone,

Bob, there are lots of stupid people in the world. For 2000 years the

people of the world have not been told the truth about these things.

Here's the TRUTH, Bob: God created the universe and created man with

FREEDOM to chose [sic] good or evil. When God saw that man always

seemed to choose evil, it pissed him off and down through the

centuries he tried various tactics to bully man into choosing good.

Remember the Great Flood, Bob, when God killed all the people in the

world except Noah and his wife? But nothing God tried ever seemed to

work. He should have known better, really, because the Greatest Angel

he created (Lucifer, whom we usually refer to as Satan) had rebelled

at the very beginning with other lesser angels, and God was never able

to get them back into his clutches. Anyhow, nothing ever seemed to go

right for God. He would whip man back into line for awhile, but

before long man would go back to his old ways, sinning and rebelling

against God. God even sent Prophets into the world to try to convince

man to be good, but the prophets always ended up getting killed! God

finally decided that there was only one more thing he could try. He

would send his only Son, Jesus, into the world and surely, God

thought, people would listen to him and [sic] sweet message of love

and peace! But we know what happened, don't we, Bob? Just as all the

prophets before him were hated and killed, so Jesus was hated and

killed! Even people who claimed to be on God's side hated Jesus! In

fact, it was the religious leaders who plotted with the civil leaders

to get Jesus arrested and crucified! They took Jesus and spit at him,

and beat him, and crowned him with thorns, and drove nails into his

hands and feet, and stuck a spear into his side and then watched him

died [sic] a slow and painful death on a cross!

The last point in this great story is the most important, Bob. JESUS

DIED! He died and he STAYED dead! The resurrection of Jesus Christ

from the dead is just a story the fanatical followers of Jesus made

up. Even the bible doesn't claim that anyone actually SAW him rise

from the dead. The truth is that mankind once and for all nailed God

and his love to a cross and killed them! God's last effort to

convince man to be on his side was a miserable failure, and his name

was Jesus!

Unfortunately, Bob, we know that during the last 2000 years, fanatical

fools have been able to convince millions of people that Jesus is

still alive and that he has power. But the facts don't support this

lie. Even religious people go on sinning as they always have, simply

because SATAN is in control of the world and it's people. People like

to sin, Bob! They always have and they always will! Sin is fun!

Goodness is boring! God is boring! And his dead son Jesus was just

an asshole!

There is so much more I could tell you, Bob, but there's not much

space left. Just remember this, Bob: The increased Satanic activity

in the world is something to be happy about, not worried about. I

hope you will join the fun, Bob. I hope you're not a stupid little

asshole like so many of your dumb friends!

Fuck You,

Father Lou

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are a lot comments I could make about that, but I'll settle for

saying that it contains a breath-takingly simplistic interpretation of

Judeo-Christian mythology, to be as kind as possible. The last time I

got drunk playing cards with Satan (he cheats, not surprisingly), he

told me he hates Satanists more than Christians! Could've been the

beer talking.

One more thing about bumming out in general, my Mindspring Message of

the Day has an ad for Paul McCartney's latest symphonic travesty,

"Standing Stone". If it's anything as bad as "Liverpool Oratorio"

was, it sould trigger volcanos and massacres.

 

"The only reason they believe in Satan is because some Christian told

them about him." -Rev. Ivan Stang