Subject: Re: Give me the gas, please & a Satanic message for Bob
Date: Sun, 16 Nov 1997 20:04:52 GMT
From: email@example.com (Nolan Voyde)
Organization: MindSpring Enterprises, Inc.
References: 1 , 2
Sketchy Albedo <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
>Damn. How about we just send you to Georgia?
I just spent 18 years in Georgia, two of them doing a radio show on
WREK for this Church. Now, do you understand my attitude a little
Speaking of my attitude, my hobby is collecting propaganda
from all sorts of hate-groups. I have in-house literature from Nazis,
Muslims, anarchists, right-wing Christians, Satanists (exceptionally
stupid stuff!), Black Israelites, BabySue, the KKK and other assorted
weirdos. Maybe I just read too much of this stuff, but on the other
hand, Norman Vincent Peale pisses me off and bums me out even WORSE!
But I always rally and start shooting back, praise "Bob"!
The Satanists sent me an unsolicited package of about two hundred
pages of literature(?) accompanied by a 90-minute cassette of their
moronic rantings. It came addressed to Nolan Voyde,so obviously my
connection to "Bob" is why they sent it. No return address, but it
had a New Orleans cancellation. Sure wish LaVey had autographed it.
Funny thing, the Satan stuff includes a letter from Father Lou C. Furr
to a guy named Bob. I'll bet Stang's got one just like it. Since the
package was sent anonymously with no threats about copyright
violations, I'll reproduce the letter to Bob here for the edification
of the Church membership who are so far unblessed by it's important
message of hope and salvation. All punctuation, spelling, etc. is
exactly as in letter. [sic] indicates typos as in letter.
Dear Fr. Lou,
You hear all kinds of things about the devil these days. There are
people practicing devil worship and black magic. Even the lyrics of
some songs encourage devil worship. Do you think the devil is
becoming stronger? Love, Bob.
No, Bob, Satan is not getting stronger. The All-Powerful Master of
the Whole Universe CAN'T get stronger! What we see happening in te
world today, Bob, is people realizing (at last!) that Satan is indeed
more powerful than "God" and his son, Jesus. So, the increase of
Devil Worship activity we hear so much about is simply evidence, Bob,
that the world is finally on the brink of giving Satan, the Prince of
Darkness, the worship and service he has always deserved. I realize,
Bob, that you may find all this Satanic activity a little frightening,
but that's only because you have been misinformed about Satan and his
enemies, Jesus Christ and his Father in Heaven. But you're not alone,
Bob, there are lots of stupid people in the world. For 2000 years the
people of the world have not been told the truth about these things.
Here's the TRUTH, Bob: God created the universe and created man with
FREEDOM to chose [sic] good or evil. When God saw that man always
seemed to choose evil, it pissed him off and down through the
centuries he tried various tactics to bully man into choosing good.
Remember the Great Flood, Bob, when God killed all the people in the
world except Noah and his wife? But nothing God tried ever seemed to
work. He should have known better, really, because the Greatest Angel
he created (Lucifer, whom we usually refer to as Satan) had rebelled
at the very beginning with other lesser angels, and God was never able
to get them back into his clutches. Anyhow, nothing ever seemed to go
right for God. He would whip man back into line for awhile, but
before long man would go back to his old ways, sinning and rebelling
against God. God even sent Prophets into the world to try to convince
man to be good, but the prophets always ended up getting killed! God
finally decided that there was only one more thing he could try. He
would send his only Son, Jesus, into the world and surely, God
thought, people would listen to him and [sic] sweet message of love
and peace! But we know what happened, don't we, Bob? Just as all the
prophets before him were hated and killed, so Jesus was hated and
killed! Even people who claimed to be on God's side hated Jesus! In
fact, it was the religious leaders who plotted with the civil leaders
to get Jesus arrested and crucified! They took Jesus and spit at him,
and beat him, and crowned him with thorns, and drove nails into his
hands and feet, and stuck a spear into his side and then watched him
died [sic] a slow and painful death on a cross!
The last point in this great story is the most important, Bob. JESUS
DIED! He died and he STAYED dead! The resurrection of Jesus Christ
from the dead is just a story the fanatical followers of Jesus made
up. Even the bible doesn't claim that anyone actually SAW him rise
from the dead. The truth is that mankind once and for all nailed God
and his love to a cross and killed them! God's last effort to
convince man to be on his side was a miserable failure, and his name
Unfortunately, Bob, we know that during the last 2000 years, fanatical
fools have been able to convince millions of people that Jesus is
still alive and that he has power. But the facts don't support this
lie. Even religious people go on sinning as they always have, simply
because SATAN is in control of the world and it's people. People like
to sin, Bob! They always have and they always will! Sin is fun!
Goodness is boring! God is boring! And his dead son Jesus was just
There is so much more I could tell you, Bob, but there's not much
space left. Just remember this, Bob: The increased Satanic activity
in the world is something to be happy about, not worried about. I
hope you will join the fun, Bob. I hope you're not a stupid little
asshole like so many of your dumb friends!
There are a lot comments I could make about that, but I'll settle for
saying that it contains a breath-takingly simplistic interpretation of
Judeo-Christian mythology, to be as kind as possible. The last time I
got drunk playing cards with Satan (he cheats, not surprisingly), he
told me he hates Satanists more than Christians! Could've been the
One more thing about bumming out in general, my Mindspring Message of
the Day has an ad for Paul McCartney's latest symphonic travesty,
"Standing Stone". If it's anything as bad as "Liverpool Oratorio"
was, it sould trigger volcanos and massacres.
"The only reason they believe in Satan is because some Christian told
them about him." -Rev. Ivan Stang