From Thu Oct 30 04:31:05 1997

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: "Bob" and A.A.

From: (Jetrock)

Date: 30 Oct 1997 12:31:05 GMT


Hm. I run a Citadel BBS out of my living room. Recently there was a

discussion on my board about "Bob" and AA-to wit, I am a recovering

alcoholic, and as my Higher Power I chose "Bob" rather than the deity of

some conventional religion (I got turned on to the Church of the SubGenius

about four months before my decision to stop drinking). I was asked how I

reconciled the serious purposes of AA, and the anti-religion religion the

Church of the SubGenius? I whopped out a big ol' long-winded overly

personal flame as a response, and decided that I might as well post it to

alt.slack and see what people think. Hell, it's gotta be better than

another MMF or spam discussion...


as to "Bob" and AA. Well, it's kind of hard to put across. There I was,

21 years old, drunk as a skunk, and massively suicidal. I wanted out, and

having gone to five AA meetings back when I was 19 because a jusge told me to, I

figured, 'well, why not try it out?' I liked the spirit and the

camaraderie and the support and the message, and it all kinda made sense to me.

Now, as to Dobbs.


I have been raised since birth without a religion. Where most people got

a dose of Christianity or whatever from their parents, my parents taught me

inquisitiveness, critical thinking, and a suspicion of any

religious snake-oil salesman. So, unlike a lot of people in AA' I didn't have a spiritual

foundation to draw upon. But, here I was, with a roomful of people who had used surrender to a

higher power as a means to change their lives for the better. The tacit

assumption, to a religious person, would be that God had removed their defects of

character. To me, who worked on the basis that there wasn't a God to do

so, this was a bit confusing.


I suppose that the religious studies I did have (other than my finding of

Dobbs in February of 1990, several months before deciding to quit drinking

on May 15, 1990) were my studies of the occult, Discordianism, Crowleyian

mysticism, and Timothy Leary's psychic evolution techniques.

One of the techniques I pondered and practiced was one recommended by

Crowley, which I call the Multiple Gods Trick.


Pick a deity. ANY deity, as long as you feel you can dig that deity with

sufficient devotion. Now, WORSHIP SAID DEITY as hard as you can, with as

much intensity as possible! If you put enough fervor, belief, and genuine

faith into this effort, eventually you will have a BEATIFIC VISION and be

contacted by the deity of your choosing in some fashion. Not necessarily a physical

visitation or burning bush, but otherwise a seemingly BLATANTLY OBVIOUS

HINT that your belief is RIGHT-ON and that deity is, in fact, the ONE TRUE GOD.

As soon as this happens, DROP THAT DEITY LIKE A WHITE-HOT ROCK!

Choose ANOTHER deity. Same requirements as above, Do the EXACT SAME



Repeat until you go, 'Oh! I get it!'


Essentially, at least in my interpretation of this experiment, the point

is that BELIEF AND FAITH HELP TO ADJUST REALITY. It is the actions of the

worshipper which make a change and bring about a spiritual experience--and

NOT an actual 'visitation' by a series of contradictory 'One True Gods'. My

belief calls them forth. The power of any Higher Power to help me is a

function of MY OWN MIND--but it's a PART of my mind which I CANNOT



To quote Janor Hypercleats, 'You can't think about your own mind! That's

part of the problem!' In order to gain access to these functions of the mind, you

have to use a sort of occultation, and treat them as though they were A

POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES. These parts of our brain are smart and can spot

bullshit a mile off. You have to MEAN IT.


Now, to any religious person, this sounds TOTALLY BACKWARDS. It'S like

saying that, rather than when you jump in the air you go up away from the

Earth and then come back down, that when you jump you are shoving not only

the Earth but the ENTIRE UNIVERSE down a bit, and then PULLING THEM BACK UP. Why,

that's LUDICROUS! Preposterous!


But, if you look at that situation in terms of Special Relativity, THAT

IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS. When I jump up in the air, the rest of the universe

DOESscoot down a bit--at least from my perspective.


Okay then. Anyhow, here I am, 21 and a recent fan of the Church of the

SubGenius, and with a strong desire to stop drinking--but ZERO desire to

stop being a SubGenius, listening to punk rock and speedmetal, and generaly do

all the crap involved in becoming a Christian the way that conventional

'faith' would have me do.


And it says right there in the Big Book, EXACTLY WHAT YOUR HIGHER POWER

IS is YOUR BUSINESS, and anyone who tells you it's the wrong thing can FUCK OFF.

Well, it doesn't say exactly that, but that's the bottom line. You get

the Higher Power that YOU WANT.


So I chose "Bob". I surrendered my fate and my destiny to the hands of

the Slack Master Dobbs. I, Jetrock, am TOTALLY POWERLESS over alcohol. I

need help from a source greater than myself in order to stay sober

and make changes in my life, and I decided it would be the Annointed Emaculated Chosen of

Space God JHVH-1, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.


And it fuckin' WORKED. My life DID change. I WAS able to stay sober.

My life now is INCREDIBLY BETTER than it was then.

Basically, I figured, 'Well, I think ALL religions are inherently a load

of crap, so I'll choose a religion that's INHERENTLY BOGUS!' And it STILL



To me, and my way of thinking, the Church of the SubGenius IS A GENUINE,


EVER WAS. The Book of the SubGenius is no less true than the Bible, the Koran,

the Bhagavad-Gita, the Book of Mormon, or ANY OTHER BODY OF RELIGIOUS WORK.

Now, you might be thinking, 'But wait, the Church of the SubGenius was a

FAKE PARODY RELIGION started by a couple of wise-ass Texans! It's intentonally

fakeand made-up!' And YOU'RE RIGHT! It and the above statement ARE BOTH TRUE



So, no, to answer your question, I don't see any contradiction between

using an inherently fake religion as a Higher Power to help me achieve sobriety

via AA. It may be inherently fake, but it's also THE ONLY RELIGION THAT COULD



Does that make sense?




-----Rev. JETROCK, cyber-messianic noiseman and ANGRY MONKEY

for UBERKUNST informational propaganda, set your browser to:





From Thu Oct 30 09:18:22 1997

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: "Bob" and A.A.

From: (RebHolmes)

Date: 30 Oct 1997 17:18:22 GMT


Rev. Jetrock writes:

>Recently there was a

>discussion on my board about "Bob" and AA-to wit, I am a recovering

>alcoholic, and as my Higher Power I chose "Bob" rather than the deity of

>some conventional religion



If I quoted everything I liked about this post, I'd end up quoting the entire

"Bob"-damned post ... so I'll confine myself to just saying that Rev. Jetrock

is THE ONE TRUE SubGenius ... he KNOWS it's all bullshit, but he makes it WORK

for HIM----just listen:

>One of the techniques I pondered and practiced was one recommended by

>Crowley, which I call the Multiple Gods Trick.


>And it fuckin' WORKED. My life DID change. I WAS able to stay sober.

>My life now is INCREDIBLY BETTER than it was then.



That stupid, scheming, grinning, pipe-puffing bastard of a bored housewife and

a Polish jew corporate sin banker has never been put to better use. PRABOB!

Rev'd Jetrock is showing us THE WAY, chilluns, and in truly "Bob"-like fashion



>I whopped out a big ol' long-winded overly

>personal flame as a response, and decided that I might as well post it to

>alt.slack and see what people think.

Well, we're all bored as shit here, JR. No use even trying to entertain us

with this kind of stuff. Just get back in your barrel, that's a good lad.

[Rev'd Jetrock slumps sadly and walks away]


--Did you SEE THAT? He has NO IDEA how fucking WONDERFUL that post was ... no

idea that he's the King of Slack ... such stupidity is granted by Dobbs only

for very powerful purposes, chilluns, and don't you forget it. These ARE the

End Times, and Rev. Jetrock seems destined to ride the Luck Plane farther and

faster than any of us.


Yes, of course, it'll scare the living shit out of him ... but HE WON'T KNOW

IT. He is GRACED by Dobbs with the knowledge that he doesn't know what he's

doing ... and THAT'S ENOUGH.


Keep coming back. It works! --Pull the wool over your OWN eyes.



Yom Cheth: 11th of Tammuz, 5758--two hours after sunrise.