From email@example.com Thu Oct 30 04:31:05 1997
Subject: "Bob" and A.A.
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Jetrock)
Date: 30 Oct 1997 12:31:05 GMT
Hm. I run a Citadel BBS out of my living room. Recently there was a
discussion on my board about "Bob" and AA-to wit, I am a recovering
alcoholic, and as my Higher Power I chose "Bob" rather than the deity of
some conventional religion (I got turned on to the Church of the SubGenius
about four months before my decision to stop drinking). I was asked how I
reconciled the serious purposes of AA, and the anti-religion religion the
Church of the SubGenius? I whopped out a big ol' long-winded overly
personal flame as a response, and decided that I might as well post it to
alt.slack and see what people think. Hell, it's gotta be better than
another MMF or spam discussion...
as to "Bob" and AA. Well, it's kind of hard to put across. There I was,
21 years old, drunk as a skunk, and massively suicidal. I wanted out, and
having gone to five AA meetings back when I was 19 because a jusge told me to, I
figured, 'well, why not try it out?' I liked the spirit and the
camaraderie and the support and the message, and it all kinda made sense to me.
Now, as to Dobbs.
I have been raised since birth without a religion. Where most people got
a dose of Christianity or whatever from their parents, my parents taught me
inquisitiveness, critical thinking, and a suspicion of any
religious snake-oil salesman. So, unlike a lot of people in AA' I didn't have a spiritual
foundation to draw upon. But, here I was, with a roomful of people who had used surrender to a
higher power as a means to change their lives for the better. The tacit
assumption, to a religious person, would be that God had removed their defects of
character. To me, who worked on the basis that there wasn't a God to do
so, this was a bit confusing.
I suppose that the religious studies I did have (other than my finding of
Dobbs in February of 1990, several months before deciding to quit drinking
on May 15, 1990) were my studies of the occult, Discordianism, Crowleyian
mysticism, and Timothy Leary's psychic evolution techniques.
One of the techniques I pondered and practiced was one recommended by
Crowley, which I call the Multiple Gods Trick.
Pick a deity. ANY deity, as long as you feel you can dig that deity with
sufficient devotion. Now, WORSHIP SAID DEITY as hard as you can, with as
much intensity as possible! If you put enough fervor, belief, and genuine
faith into this effort, eventually you will have a BEATIFIC VISION and be
contacted by the deity of your choosing in some fashion. Not necessarily a physical
visitation or burning bush, but otherwise a seemingly BLATANTLY OBVIOUS
HINT that your belief is RIGHT-ON and that deity is, in fact, the ONE TRUE GOD.
As soon as this happens, DROP THAT DEITY LIKE A WHITE-HOT ROCK!
Choose ANOTHER deity. Same requirements as above, Do the EXACT SAME
THING. If done right, THE SAME THING WILL HAPPEN.
Repeat until you go, 'Oh! I get it!'
Essentially, at least in my interpretation of this experiment, the point
is that BELIEF AND FAITH HELP TO ADJUST REALITY. It is the actions of the
worshipper which make a change and bring about a spiritual experience--and
NOT an actual 'visitation' by a series of contradictory 'One True Gods'. My
belief calls them forth. The power of any Higher Power to help me is a
function of MY OWN MIND--but it's a PART of my mind which I CANNOT
To quote Janor Hypercleats, 'You can't think about your own mind! That's
part of the problem!' In order to gain access to these functions of the mind, you
have to use a sort of occultation, and treat them as though they were A
POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES. These parts of our brain are smart and can spot
bullshit a mile off. You have to MEAN IT.
Now, to any religious person, this sounds TOTALLY BACKWARDS. It'S like
saying that, rather than when you jump in the air you go up away from the
Earth and then come back down, that when you jump you are shoving not only
the Earth but the ENTIRE UNIVERSE down a bit, and then PULLING THEM BACK UP. Why,
that's LUDICROUS! Preposterous!
But, if you look at that situation in terms of Special Relativity, THAT
IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS. When I jump up in the air, the rest of the universe
DOESscoot down a bit--at least from my perspective.
Okay then. Anyhow, here I am, 21 and a recent fan of the Church of the
SubGenius, and with a strong desire to stop drinking--but ZERO desire to
stop being a SubGenius, listening to punk rock and speedmetal, and generaly do
all the crap involved in becoming a Christian the way that conventional
'faith' would have me do.
And it says right there in the Big Book, EXACTLY WHAT YOUR HIGHER POWER
IS is YOUR BUSINESS, and anyone who tells you it's the wrong thing can FUCK OFF.
Well, it doesn't say exactly that, but that's the bottom line. You get
the Higher Power that YOU WANT.
So I chose "Bob". I surrendered my fate and my destiny to the hands of
the Slack Master Dobbs. I, Jetrock, am TOTALLY POWERLESS over alcohol. I
need help from a source greater than myself in order to stay sober
and make changes in my life, and I decided it would be the Annointed Emaculated Chosen of
Space God JHVH-1, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.
And it fuckin' WORKED. My life DID change. I WAS able to stay sober.
My life now is INCREDIBLY BETTER than it was then.
Basically, I figured, 'Well, I think ALL religions are inherently a load
of crap, so I'll choose a religion that's INHERENTLY BOGUS!' And it STILL
To me, and my way of thinking, the Church of the SubGenius IS A GENUINE,
WORKING RELIGION, as FINE and TRUE a religion as ANY OTHER RELIGION THERE
EVER WAS. The Book of the SubGenius is no less true than the Bible, the Koran,
the Bhagavad-Gita, the Book of Mormon, or ANY OTHER BODY OF RELIGIOUS WORK.
Now, you might be thinking, 'But wait, the Church of the SubGenius was a
FAKE PARODY RELIGION started by a couple of wise-ass Texans! It's intentonally
fakeand made-up!' And YOU'RE RIGHT! It and the above statement ARE BOTH TRUE
AT THE SAME TIME!!
So, no, to answer your question, I don't see any contradiction between
using an inherently fake religion as a Higher Power to help me achieve sobriety
via AA. It may be inherently fake, but it's also THE ONLY RELIGION THAT COULD
HAVE WORKED FOR ME!!
Does that make sense?
-----Rev. JETROCK, cyber-messianic noiseman and ANGRY MONKEY
for UBERKUNST informational propaganda, set your browser to:
From email@example.com Thu Oct 30 09:18:22 1997
Subject: Re: "Bob" and A.A.
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (RebHolmes)
Date: 30 Oct 1997 17:18:22 GMT
Rev. Jetrock writes:
>Recently there was a
>discussion on my board about "Bob" and AA-to wit, I am a recovering
>alcoholic, and as my Higher Power I chose "Bob" rather than the deity of
>some conventional religion
If I quoted everything I liked about this post, I'd end up quoting the entire
"Bob"-damned post ... so I'll confine myself to just saying that Rev. Jetrock
is THE ONE TRUE SubGenius ... he KNOWS it's all bullshit, but he makes it WORK
for HIM----just listen:
>One of the techniques I pondered and practiced was one recommended by
>Crowley, which I call the Multiple Gods Trick.
>And it fuckin' WORKED. My life DID change. I WAS able to stay sober.
>My life now is INCREDIBLY BETTER than it was then.
That stupid, scheming, grinning, pipe-puffing bastard of a bored housewife and
a Polish jew corporate sin banker has never been put to better use. PRABOB!
Rev'd Jetrock is showing us THE WAY, chilluns, and in truly "Bob"-like fashion
HE DOESN'T KNOW IT.
>I whopped out a big ol' long-winded overly
>personal flame as a response, and decided that I might as well post it to
>alt.slack and see what people think.
Well, we're all bored as shit here, JR. No use even trying to entertain us
with this kind of stuff. Just get back in your barrel, that's a good lad.
[Rev'd Jetrock slumps sadly and walks away]
--Did you SEE THAT? He has NO IDEA how fucking WONDERFUL that post was ... no
idea that he's the King of Slack ... such stupidity is granted by Dobbs only
for very powerful purposes, chilluns, and don't you forget it. These ARE the
End Times, and Rev. Jetrock seems destined to ride the Luck Plane farther and
faster than any of us.
Yes, of course, it'll scare the living shit out of him ... but HE WON'T KNOW
IT. He is GRACED by Dobbs with the knowledge that he doesn't know what he's
doing ... and THAT'S ENOUGH.
Keep coming back. It works! --Pull the wool over your OWN eyes.
Yom Cheth: 11th of Tammuz, 5758--two hours after sunrise.