Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Prophecy, motherfucker!

From: "Rev. Boblight" <blight@u.washington.edu>

Date: Thu, 06 Nov 1997 15:53:44 -0800

 

I just turned thirty; at my birthday celebration my dear friend St.

Therese gave me a wee volume entitled _How To Read Tea Leaves_ by Ama

Bei, copyright 1934. Bei is also the author of _How To Enjoy Your

Dreams_, which I would love to read if anyone can find a copy.

 

The next day, after finishing my pot of green tea, I followed Bei's

instructions: "Drink the cup as dry as comfortable, invert the cup in

the saucer, turn the cup around in the saucer three times from left to

right. Replace the cup to a normal position using great care not to

disturb the leaf formation."

 

Before I relate what met my gaze in the cup, I must make one point

clear. I have never been a slack-jawed Bobbie who looks for SubSymbols

in the media or the so-called 'real world' (better: 'organic media') to

snicker over with Bobbie pals. When I see a flaming Dobbshead pass

overhead at twilight in the Arizona desert, as I did last fall, it is a

novelty.

 

That said, staring up at me was a PIPE! Perfectly formed, with a plume

of smoke rising - I hadn't even needed to turn the cup as it was

oriented perfectly from the start.

 

If that were all, I would've thought "Huh" and added it to the growing

list of synchronicities in my life. But when I read the interpretation,

I was struck dead and resurrected, my flaming Kundalini snake stretched

out like to snap from the strain. I am SO ready for X-day:

"The pipe with bowl erect.[???] New adventure opens up for you very

soon. Use some time and much thought in your choice of companions for

this venture for therein lies the difference between success and

failure."

 

Cast out the false prophets and wear your pipe proudly, brothers and

sisters! Seven months to freedom!

 

- Rev. Boblight

"MY Soylent Green is 'Bob'!" - Rev. Bruce Boblight