Subject: Rogue SubG - General Butt Naked of Liberia
Date: Sat, 01 Nov 1997 03:01:03 GMT
From: shinpath@gol.com (Sven Serrano)
Organization: Setsunan University
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Alt.slackers may remember a passing mention of the General and his
famed naked battalion last year. Their exploits during the Liberian
Civil War were legend. Now it seems the General has gone into the
religion business in Monrovia. We should send postal greetings care
of his mission and invite him to the X-day celebration. The following
was newswire transmission from August 4, 1997, which was reprinted in
the UK's Private Eye magazine.
"I was just an ordinary man, but I was also very spiritual. I was
deep into the occult" General Butt Naked told reporteds in his
Soul-Winning Evangelistic Ministry in Monrovia. "Thanks to God, I am
no longer a slave to Satan, but when I think of how I used to make
human sacrifices before going into battle, yes I feel very bad, so, so
bad."
"General Butt Naked, who now uses his birth name of Joshua Milton
Blahyi, was recalling his role as leader of the Butt Naked Battalion
during Liberia's civil war, in which a quarter of a million people
died. "At the age of eleven, I had a telephone call from the Devil,
who demanded nudity on the battlefield, acts of indecency, and regular
human sacrifices to ensure my protection. So, before leading my
troops into battle, we would get drunk and drugged up, and then I
would go in search of a teenager. Usually I would enter the water
where teenagers were playing, dive under the surface, grab one, carry
him off under my arm, and then break his neck. Sometimes I'd cause
accidents. Sometimes I'd just slaughter the first person I saw.
"After drinking their blood, we would all strip down to our shoes, and
then waltz into battle wearing colorful wigs and carrying dainty
purses we'd looted from civilians. We would slaughter anyone we say
and sometimes we'd cut off their heads and use them for soccer
practice. We were nude, fearless, drunk, and homicidal. We killed
hundreds of people, so many I lost count. But in June of last year,
God telephoned me that I was not the hero I considered myself to be,
so I stopped and became a preacher. Please help me to atone for my
past by buying a cassette of my sermons. $20, all major credit cards
accepted."
Sven A. Serrano, Setsunan University
2-14-22-18 Shimanouchi, Chuo-ku Osaka 542 Japan
tel (06)212-1830 fax (06)211-3244 shinpath@gol.com