Subject: Re: Dallas, TX Mindcontrol
Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997 11:43:53 -0500
From: Jason Mathews <email@example.com>
Newsgroups: alt.conspiracy, alt.conspiracy.jfk, alt.cyberangels, alt.mindcontrol, alt.slack
> I am looking for others that understand, believe in, and can conceive of
> remote electronic mind control systems which allow the tracking and
> monitoring of a human beings in Dallas, Texas. I have been harassed by
> remote electronic energy for seven years that I know of, but the actual
> detriment to my health probably started far earlier than 1990.
Dallas, eh? Prolly that damn Church of the SubGenius with the SubNectivity
I know for a FACT that if you send just ONE DOLLAR to the SubGenii, you can
have all mind control beams deflected for FREE. And you'll get more
information on how to turn the tables on those that seek to control your
mind with evil radiations that foil pyramid hats cannot help with. The
pink corporate thugs that undoubtedly seek to torture you at a distance
with electromagnetic pulses fear the radiating waves of SLACK a simple
Dobbshead can provide as protection.
It's better than SCHWA! The CoSG can provide you with materials that will
not only save your eternal soul for a LOW PRICE, not only can they
jam impulses from technologies bartered from the Grey/Reptoid Flea Market,
not only will they save you from destruction on X-Day, not only can they
make you laugh and cry and scream and vomit and run around naked with a
Pipe foll of 'frop, but they can give you WHAT YOU NEED, and buddy, you
That's right, I mean YOU! You need it, more than anything. It won't matter
ONE DAMN BIT if your mind is controlled by white coated scientists on the
government payroll, Corporate Megaconglomerates in league with aliens,
black helicopters carrying ButtProbes and cow parts, or if you think you
have free will. Without SLACK, it's ALL MOOT. POINTLESS. Yer just a guy
in a pink skin suit taking orders from somebody YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO
MEET, even if it's YOURSELF. Slack can set you free. Slack can ease your
But you gotta WANT it. You just can't walk in and be baptised like some
other run of the mill cults would have you think. You can't mutter a few
prayers and expect to be saved, or donate some cash out of deluded
altruism because your conscience can't stand it. You gotta reach deep
into your pockets, GIVE THAT MONEY TO "BOB", and be FREED!
And once that is done, you will never fear any implant or rogue mind
control beam ever again. No, you can walk the planet a free man, serene
in the knowledge that the world is GONNA END SOON, but you have a TICKET
OFF when it happens.
But wait, THERE'S MORE! Aside from having your eyes and third nostril
opened, you have the opportunity to get TONS MORE STUFF, and UNDERSTAND
IT ALL! 99% of everyone who views SubGenius literature or artwork thinks
to themselves "My God, what the hell is this crap?" But now your mind
will conceive that 99% of all people are MERE HUMANS, and THAT'S why
they don't grok the communications medium of YETI GODLIKE BEINGS.
It's not just a church, it's not just a way of life, it's not just a way
to make fun of those you like and dislike. It's just THE WAY, the way
things SHOULD BE.
Now I've gone on a bit long, probably more than I anticipated, but
"Bob"-dammit, it just poured out.
There is, of course, an alternative solution, involving a ball peen hammer
to the skull. Repeat as needed until the controlling implant is destroyed.
It's cheaper, requires no discipline other than enough motor skills to
smash your own head.
What's it gonna be, the EASY PINK WAY of BEATING IN YOUR OWN SKULL, or
the HARD WAY, the way of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs and the Church of the SubGenius?
Desktop Mercenary | AKA Mind Control Officer #171, Rabid Jo-Boy,
www.skepticult.org/~deskmerc| SKEP-TI-CULTIST, Anti-Astro Clone, trollbait,
firstname.lastname@example.org | and writer of text/plain ISO-8859-1 viruses.
Paranoid Network Intruder Ministries, Inc.