From strange@enter.net Thu Jul 30 20:00:02 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Church of the New Order

From: "Rev. Edward Strange" <strange@enter.net>

Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1998 23:00:02 -0400

CC: drlegume@bellatlantic.net

 

The reason I joined this church in the first place was because I

thought the world as a whole needed to lighten up. Now I'm sorry to say

that is the church to lighten up. The evil cloak of political

correctness has shaded your eyes from the light of truth.

Gone are the days when SubGenius brother defended SubGenius brother

from the tyranical hand of the Conspiracy. The modern SubGenius seems

more concerned about protecting thier self esteem from the criticism of

stark realists than they are about the GUN THAT IS BEING HELD TO THEIR

HEAD, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!! I have seen more of you jump to defend

the tender feelings of some poor self diluted sucker than I have lift

even one finger to do the job this church was custom built accomplish..

 

TEAR DOWN THE WALLS !!! ALL THE FUCKING WALLS !!!

 

Saucers....you wanted saucers? Haaaa.....everyone with a tear in their

eye at 7:01 would have shit themselves and run the other way had they

shown up. What most SubGenii don't understand is that it was never about

aliens their imaginary saucers or the goddammed plastic head that is

J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. Thats right, a sham, a plywood storefront, superficial

eyecandy that protected an infant church from being taken seriously and

thusly crushed.

 

Well children, it's time to leave the nest. Fly away and be free or

cash into the cold pavement head first, the choice is yours. There comes

a time when you realize that all the bible stories, fables, and story

tales you were told all your life were nothing more than candy coating

for the bitter pills of life's lessons. To prepare you. Every religious

denomination and walk of life has their own pills as a means to their

own ends. None of the medicine ever works if you can't digest as shit

out that ever so sweet candy coating.

 

And you do know where to find the best pills, don't you? WELL DON'T

YOU!?! Apparently not, judging from the way you react when you think

you've been presented with critisism. You circle defensivly trying to

gather your strength. You bahh and whinny hoping your feeble words carry

some power, ever protective of the young and weak in the group. EXACTLY

LIKE HEARD ANIMALS CONFRONTED BY A PREDITOR!! LIKE SHEEP, LIKE POOR DUMB

SHEEP!!

 

You can be healed children. But you have to stop using the Church of

the SubGenius as a fallout shelter. You need to use the church to build

a suit of armor woven of Slack and thick skin. Stop being the prey item

and become the predator. That's what the pills are supposed to do, but

you need to get past "Bob". Shit him out like yesterdays watermellon

seeds and learn the beautiful leason that has shown you but you refuse

to look at.

 

If you don't get it, you'll never have it.

 

From saint@!bugger-off!prairienet.org Fri Jul 31 07:25:28 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: saint andreux <saint@!bugger-off!prairienet.org>

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 09:25:28 -0500

 

Rev. Edward Strange wrote:

 

> Gone are the days when SubGenius brother defended SubGenius brother

> from the tyranical hand of the Conspiracy.

 

Sorry Strange, that was never there in the first place. Much to my chagrin.

 

> I have seen more of you jump to defend

> the tender feelings of some poor self diluted sucker than I have lift

> even one finger to do the job this church was custom built accomplish..

 

Self diluted or Self DELUDED? It does make a difference.

 

> Saucers....you wanted saucers? Haaaa.....everyone with a tear in their

> eye at 7:01 would have shit themselves and run the other way had they

> shown up. What most SubGenii don't understand is that it was never about

> aliens their imaginary saucers or the goddammed plastic head that is

> J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. Thats right, a sham, a plywood storefront, superficial

> eyecandy that protected an infant church from being taken seriously and

> thusly crushed.

 

And, what, pray tell, IS this Church about?

 

> And you do know where to find the best pills, don't you? WELL DON'T

> YOU!?! Apparently not, judging from the way you react when you think

> you've been presented with critisism. You circle defensivly trying to

> gather your strength. You bahh and whinny hoping your feeble words carry

> some power, ever protective of the young and weak in the group. EXACTLY

> LIKE HEARD ANIMALS CONFRONTED BY A PREDITOR!! LIKE SHEEP, LIKE POOR DUMB

> SHEEP!!

 

Strange, you targeted transgenders. The transgenders got pissed off. I don't

see this as some kind of grand scheme of social engineering

on your part. Were they expected to say, "Oh, gee! You're right! I

guess I'm going to stop what I'm doing that gives me the best kick

around for your sole benefit"?

 

> You can be healed children. But you have to stop using the Church of

> the SubGenius as a fallout shelter. You need to use the church to build

> a suit of armor woven of Slack and thick skin.

 

More thick skin than slack these past few years. It seems the status quo that

SubGenii are to put up with being razzed, and if you can't

take it, then you're weak.

 

Hell, I could go to Scientology and run TR0 - Bullbait for that. It's the

same thing. At least SubGenius is cheaper at a flat fee of $30.

 

> Stop being the prey item

> and become the predator.

 

Fine and dandy. I think you got your alignment wrong. Since when do the wolves

attack each other when there are so many sheep about?

 

HINT: Wolves - SubGenii ; Sheep - Normals

 

Unless you're implying that there is some kind of pecking order within

the "church"; in which case, you're advocating the very thing that

we call the Conspiracy. The thing we sent our money off to for an

excuse to excuse ourselves from it.

 

> If you don't get it, you'll never have it.

 

Some get it, Strange.

 

I personally think that BOTH you and Nikkita & Lil get it.

 

IN YOUR OWN WAYS.

 

--

saint andreux --><-- SCIENTOLOGISTS CAN'T READ THIS POST

"In the future, everything will work" FIND OUT WHY: www.xenu.net

www.prairienet.org/~saint/ MY NAME IS A BANNED PHRASE

 

 

 

From s-c-h-a-b-e@m-r.n-e-t Fri Jul 31 10:02:08 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: "?!" <s-c-h-a-b-e@m-r.n-e-t>

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 17:02:08 GMT

 

 

 

saint andreux wrote in message <6pskeg$rit@news9.noc.netcom.net>...

>Rev. Edward Strange wrote:

>> If you don't get it, you'll never have it.

>

> Some get it, Strange.

>

> I personally think that BOTH you and Nikkita & Lil get it.

>

> IN YOUR OWN WAYS.

--

 

Yes. Precisely. That's it exactly. I think we can end this thread now

because that sums it up *perfectly*.

 

By the way, I tend to be more like one of those bacteria in the gut of

the sheep that gets its energy from breaking down cellulose.

 

Mainly in looks and personality, though.

 

---

schabe "one-cell mind" @mr.net

http://webpages.mr.net/schabe

 

 

 

From p-lil@ZubJenius.com Fri Jul 31 16:31:09 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: p-lil@ZubJenius.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

Date: 31 Jul 1998 23:31:09 GMT

 

On the eve of Fri, 31 Jul 1998 09:25:28 -0500, in the Temple of

<6pskeg$rit@news9.noc.netcom.net>, saint@!bugger-off!prairienet.org bellowed

forth across the wasteland:

>

> Strange, you targeted transgenders. The transgenders got pissed off.

> I don't see this as some kind of grand scheme of social engineering

> on your part. Were they expected to say, "Oh, gee! You're right! I

> guess I'm going to stop what I'm doing that gives me the best kick

> around for your sole benefit"?

 

Actually, Andreux, I have yet to get pissed at Strange. Rolled my eyes, yes.

Laughed my ass off, yes. Pissed? Shit, the boy's just running his mouth

thinking he's being CHALLENGING. Since that's what most people do on this

newsgroup I can't fault him any more than I can praise him--that is, not at

all.

 

I do get the impression, though, that Strange is bitter that the army of

Superior Mutants he expected turned out to be a bunch of computer geeks,

queers, and other fuckups he can barely stand. Boo fuckin' hoo.

 

"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke," they say. And LO, they were FUCKED, and

didn't even notice.

 

 

P.Lil

 

--

|Reverend Doktor Saint Popess| Fools' Press |

| Lilith von Fraumench, Esq. | 1122 E Pike St, #769 |

| Hangnail Of the Stark Fist | Seattle, WA 98122-3934 |

| Sadomasticist At Large | mitchell@interserv.com |

|Spiting the Gods since 1989!| http://bounce.to/p-lil |

 

 

From drlegume@bellatlantic.net Fri Jul 31 20:20:07 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: "Dr.Legume" <drlegume@bellatlantic.net>

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 23:20:07 -0400

 

Popess Lilith von Fraumench wrote:

 

> I do get the impression, though, that Strange is bitter that the army of

> Superior Mutants he expected turned out to be a bunch of computer geeks,

> queers, and other fuckups he can barely stand.

 

BINGO! You just hit the nail right on the fucking head, P-lil.

--

Dr."Cortez" Legume

 

Looking for the New World

and the Palace of the Sun

 

From terrygibson@rocketmail.com Sat Aug 01 17:42:45 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: terrygibson@rocketmail.com

Date: Sun, 02 Aug 1998 00:42:45 GMT

 

In article <35C28967.7AED@bellatlantic.net>,

"Dr.Legume" <drlegume@bellatlantic.net> wrote:

> Popess Lilith von Fraumench wrote:

>

> > I do get the impression, though, that Strange is bitter that the army of

> > Superior Mutants he expected turned out to be a bunch of computer geeks,

> > queers, and other fuckups he can barely stand.

>

> BINGO! You just hit the nail right on the fucking head, P-lil.

 

Hehehehh he said, adjusting his pocketprotector (TM) and pushing his glasses

further up the bridge of his nose.

 

-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----

http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum

 

From drlegume@bellatlantic.net Fri Jul 31 17:47:44 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: "Dr.Legume" <drlegume@bellatlantic.net>

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 20:47:44 -0400

 

saint andreux wrote:

 

> Unless you're implying that there is some kind of pecking order within

> the "church"; in which case, you're advocating the very thing that

> we call the Conspiracy. The thing we sent our money off to for an

> excuse to excuse ourselves from it.

 

Of course there's a fucking pecking order in the CotSG. Damn, Andrew, if

there was no pecking order, why would you kiss so much hierarchy ass for

all these years?

--

Dr."Cortez" Legume

 

Looking for the New World

and the Palace of the Sun

 

From petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk Fri Jul 31 09:23:38 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: Peter Hipwell <petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk>

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 17:23:38 +0100

 

Rev. Edward Strange wrote:

 

Thanks for giving more laughs than I've had since Lou Duchez got all

indignant that we didn't CARE enough. This inverse video rerun really

activated the yaks to frenzy-level.

 

> The reason I joined this church in the first place was because I

> thought the world as a whole needed to lighten up. Now I'm sorry to

> say that is the church to lighten up. The evil cloak of political

> correctness has shaded your eyes from the light of truth.

 

The evil cloak of political correctness. That is a phrase-and-a-half.

Nice one. IT COSTS NOTHING TO BE POLITE! DOWN WIV SKOOL! YEAH! YEAH!

 

> Gone are the days when SubGenius brother defended SubGenius

> brother from the tyranical hand of the Conspiracy.

 

Nowadays, SubGenius brother gropes SubGenius brother WITH the tyrannical

hand of the Conspiracy.

 

> The modern SubGenius seems more concerned about protecting thier self

> esteem from the criticism of stark realists than they are about the

 

Stark realists being them that think everything is WORSE EVEN THAN THAT?

 

> GUN THAT IS BEING HELD TO THEIR HEAD, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!! I

> have seen more of you jump to defend the tender feelings of some poor

> self diluted sucker than I have lift even one finger to do the job

> this church was custom built accomplish..

 

I think you hit the thumb on the head with "self diluted", because your

sentence suffers badly from self-strangulation after this point.

 

> TEAR DOWN THE WALLS !!! ALL THE FUCKING WALLS !!!

 

Jefferson Airplane rules OK. HAVE YOU SEEN THE SAUCERS?

 

> Saucers....you wanted saucers? Haaaa.....everyone with a tear

> in their eye at 7:01 would have shit themselves and run the other way

> had they shown up. What most SubGenii don't understand is that it was

> never about aliens their imaginary saucers or the goddammed plastic

> head that is J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. Thats right, a sham, a plywood

> storefront, superficial eyecandy that protected an infant church from

> being taken seriously and thusly crushed.

 

YOU MEAN... ALL THAT STUFF IS JUST BULLSHIT??????

 

"I don't believe it!" -- Victor Meldrew

 

> Well children, it's time to leave the nest. Fly away and be

> free or cash into the cold pavement head first, the choice is yours.

> There comes a time when you realize that all the bible stories,

> fables, and story tales you were told all your life were nothing more

> than candy coating for the bitter pills of life's lessons. To prepare

> you. Every religious denomination and walk of life has their own pills

> as a means to their own ends. None of the medicine ever works if you

> can't digest as shit out that ever so sweet candy coating.

>

> And you do know where to find the best pills, don't you? WELL

> DON'T YOU!?! Apparently not, judging from the way you react when you

> think you've been presented with critisism. You circle defensivly

> trying to gather your strength. You bahh and whinny hoping your feeble

> words carry some power, ever protective of the young and weak in the

> group. EXACTLY LIKE HEARD ANIMALS CONFRONTED BY A PREDITOR!! LIKE

> SHEEP, LIKE POOR DUMB SHEEP!!

 

That analogy is like SOUP GOING THROUGH A SIEVE ONTO THE HEAD OF A NAKED

FAT BALD MAN WITH NO DICK JUGGLING CARROTS. Get the picture?

 

> You can be healed children. But you have to stop using the

> Church of the SubGenius as a fallout shelter. You need to use the

> church to build a suit of armor woven of Slack and thick skin. Stop

> being the prey item and become the predator. That's what the pills are

> supposed to do, but you need to get past "Bob". Shit him out like

> yesterdays watermellon seeds and learn the beautiful leason that has

> shown you but you refuse to look at.

 

You know, this is the furthest I've ever seen someone go over their

notion of correct grammar. I guess Rev. Strange REALLY CARES about

pronouns.

 

> If you don't get it, you'll never have it.

 

But then there's always antibiotics.

 

--

"I want to write about the philosophy of sitting in chairs because I

have a reputation for lolling." -- Lin Yutang

 

From twgs@whatsthepoint.net Fri Jul 31 15:58:11 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Jahweh Lynch)

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 22:58:11 GMT

 

Thus spake Peter Hipwell:

 

>Rev. Edward Strange wrote:

>

>> TEAR DOWN THE WALLS !!! ALL THE FUCKING WALLS !!!

>

>Jefferson Airplane rules OK. HAVE YOU SEEN THE SAUCERS?

 

I thought we were talking Roger Waters for a second. In which case I would

have to puke.

 

Also, does "Church of the New Order" make anyone think of some sort of

putrid post-"Joy Division" organization?

 

--

"Marry a rat or a dog late in life. Avoid monkeys."

- My Chinese Fortune (oh by the way remove whats to email)

JIGGY WEEK: http://www.thepoint.net/~twgs/jiggy/jiggy.htm

 

From p-lil@ZubJenius.com Fri Jul 31 09:46:56 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: p-lil@ZubJenius.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

Date: 31 Jul 1998 16:46:56 GMT

 

On the eve of Thu, 30 Jul 1998 23:00:02 -0400, in the Temple of

<35C13332.46FF@enter.net>, strange@enter.net bellowed forth across the

wasteland:

>

>The reason I joined this church in the first place was because I

>thought the world as a whole needed to lighten up. Now I'm sorry to say

>that is the church to lighten up. The evil cloak of political

>correctness has shaded your eyes from the light of truth.

> Gone are the days when SubGenius brother defended SubGenius brother

>from the tyranical hand of the Conspiracy. The modern SubGenius seems

>more concerned about protecting thier self esteem from the criticism of

>stark realists than they are about the GUN THAT IS BEING HELD TO THEIR

>HEAD, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!! I have seen more of you jump to defend

>the tender feelings of some poor self diluted sucker than I have lift

>even one finger to do the job this church was custom built accomplish..

 

Thanks, Strange, I laughed my ass off! Man, the IRONY of accusing the Church of

political correctness and yet insisting there's one path of right behavior and

right thought is brilliant. You could go far if you practice ranting like this,

really.

 

 

P.Lil

 

--

|Reverend Doktor Saint Popess| Fools' Press |

| Lilith von Fraumench, Esq. | 1122 E Pike St, #769 |

| Hangnail Of the Stark Fist | Seattle, WA 98122-3934 |

| Sadomasticist At Large | mitchell@interserv.com |

|Spiting the Gods since 1989!| http://bounce.to/p-lil |

 

 

From Obnostic@erols.com Fri Jul 31 11:29:38 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: Steve Slack <Obnostic@erols.com>

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 14:29:38 -0400

 

Rev. Edward Strange wrote:

 

[general disgust at the feeb infestation snipped for brevity]

 

I was talking to a friend of the jelloheaded wanks mentioned

in a previous post. He has a show on cable access where he

has people TALK about DOING RADIO, instead of DOING whatever

they were going to do on the radio ON the cable access show!!

I told him TO HIS FACE that he was wasting his resources.

And he's not even talking about pirate stuff, clandestinely,

to get his feet wet or get the message or whatever OUT NOW.

No, he wants a KPFA-WFMU type station to magically FALL

like MANNA FROM HEAVEN into his LAP. He's AFRAID that if

he goes pirate and gets caught it will spoil his chances of

doing this 'real' station of which he has NO IDEA of where

to get funding for it.

 

And I've dealt with many an armchair musician who will not

lift a finger to do anything beyond diddling with their

tape recorders UNLESS some A&R or other such type steps up

and HANDS them an ALLOWANCE FIRST.

 

These parables are given as an analogies {ANAL-LOG-ENTER-IES}

of the current mental state of a signifigant number of

characters who call themselves SubGeniuses.

 

Well, since the carrot didn't work, now here's the stick.

 

I for one and sick beyond death of the asexual Crispin Glover

wannabees. Even more so 'cause I used to be one. In fact,

I used to be exactly like Lynch! Disgusting, huh?

 

Kids, there's NO PRIDE in being a GEEKASAURUS REX. It's a

FALSE PATH. It also cuts into the Church's sales potential!

I don't want any SubOrdinated novices to follow my footsteps,

unless they're masochists. Crossdressing lesbian masochists

in men's bodies, perhaps, but the rest of you, CROSS NOT

THAT BORDER INTO STEVE'S ABYSS.

 

You thought this church would protect you from the schoolyard

bullies that grew up and became your bosses, businessmen,

barflies, booking agents, and other authoritarian pukes.

 

You thought WE would fight your battles for you. Glossed over

the information provided for you to strengthen yourself.

 

And now you think HANGING OUT in a damn clubhouse scenario

is gonna SAVE you.

 

Mabye we need to kill 'Bob' for GOOD this time.

 

Or mabye one of his flesh puppets ... hmmm ....

 

Reading material? You want reading material?!?!!

 

Henry Miller. Jim Goad. Anton LaVey.

 

Bludgeon yourself into higher evolution.

 

Yeah, it's a world full of cruel rotten shits. WHAT ARE YOU

GONNA DO ABOUT IT?! Be a dweeb who can't discern pacifism from

passivity? IS THAT SOME KIND OF PSUEDO-REVOLUTIONARY STANCE?

Please, what a waste.

 

Kiddies, we can't give you a hermetically sealed paradise.

We're not your parents. And we got our OWN horseshit to

shovel.

 

If you wanna whine about the $30, fine. I think of it as

the APPLICATION fee that enables you to take the BAR EXAM

at 'Bob's' School of Unnatural Law. And you can take it

as many times as you like, until you PASS.

 

From twgs@whatsthepoint.net Fri Jul 31 18:54:58 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Jahweh Lynch)

Date: Sat, 01 Aug 1998 01:54:58 GMT

 

Thus spake terrygibson@rocketmail.com:

 

>In article <35C20D12.854@erols.com>,

> Obnostic@erols.com wrote:

>> Rev. Edward Strange wrote:

>>

>> I for one and sick beyond death of the asexual Crispin Glover

>> wannabees. Even more so 'cause I used to be one. In fact,

>> I used to be exactly like Lynch! Disgusting, huh?

 

Um, guys? Hey, guys?

 

I'm apparently not getting all the posts here, so I am not exactly sure-

who exactly called me an asexual Crispin Glover wannabe? I do not really

understand what the heck this thread is about nowadays. Is this supposed

to be a flamewar, or something? Because if so, I refuse to be offended. I

am not some sort of Lou Duchez sacrificial lamb for the amusement of the

Holocaustals. If there are, like, some sort of issues at stake here, like

for instance how Slackful it is to try and set SubGenius against SubGenius

for idle amusement and whether duplicity and hypocrisy is acceptable in

order to advance your vision of a SubGenius World Order or perhaps whether

it is possible for any man, woman, or Yeti to have a claim on the One True

Nature of Reality or whatever, I'll be happy to discuss them, but please

don't expect me to be serious about them.

 

Otherwise, would you like to talk to my supervisor?

 

--

"Marry a rat or a dog late in life. Avoid monkeys."

- My Chinese Fortune (oh by the way remove whats to email)

JIGGY WEEK: http://www.thepoint.net/~twgs/jiggy/jiggy.htm

 

From Bob_Chapman@SLAQ.brown.edu Fri Jul 31 21:31:36 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: Bob_Chapman@SLAQ.brown.edu (Crazy Bob)

Date: 1 Aug 1998 04:31:36 GMT

 

In article <35d97221.12964936@news.newsguy.com>, twgs@whatsthepoint.net felt

like sharing this:

>

>Thus spake terrygibson@rocketmail.com:

>

>>In article <35C20D12.854@erols.com>,

>> Obnostic@erols.com wrote:

>>> Rev. Edward Strange wrote:

>>>

>>> I for one and sick beyond death of the asexual Crispin Glover

>>> wannabees. Even more so 'cause I used to be one. In fact,

>>> I used to be exactly like Lynch! Disgusting, huh?

>

>Um, guys? Hey, guys?

>

>I'm apparently not getting all the posts here, so I am not exactly sure-

>who exactly called me an asexual Crispin Glover wannabe? I do not really

 

Steve Slack called you the asexual Crispin Glover wannabe.

 

I didn't really get it. Especially not since he certainly wasn't the least

geeky-looking person I've seen in my life.

 

StCBtC

 

 

From drlegume@bellatlantic.net Fri Jul 31 17:54:39 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: "Dr.Legume" <drlegume@bellatlantic.net>

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 20:54:39 -0400

 

Steve Slack wrote:

>

> Rev. Edward Strange wrote:

>

> [general disgust at the feeb infestation snipped for brevity]

>

> I was talking to a friend of the jelloheaded wanks mentioned

> in a previous post. He has a show on cable access where he

> has people TALK about DOING RADIO, instead of DOING whatever

> they were going to do on the radio ON the cable access show!!

> I told him TO HIS FACE that he was wasting his resources.

> And he's not even talking about pirate stuff, clandestinely,

> to get his feet wet or get the message or whatever OUT NOW.

> No, he wants a KPFA-WFMU type station to magically FALL

> like MANNA FROM HEAVEN into his LAP. He's AFRAID that if

> he goes pirate and gets caught it will spoil his chances of

> doing this 'real' station of which he has NO IDEA of where

> to get funding for it.

>

> And I've dealt with many an armchair musician who will not

> lift a finger to do anything beyond diddling with their

> tape recorders UNLESS some A&R or other such type steps up

> and HANDS them an ALLOWANCE FIRST.

>

> These parables are given as an analogies {ANAL-LOG-ENTER-IES}

> of the current mental state of a signifigant number of

> characters who call themselves SubGeniuses.

>

> Well, since the carrot didn't work, now here's the stick.

>

> I for one and sick beyond death of the asexual Crispin Glover

> wannabees. Even more so 'cause I used to be one. In fact,

> I used to be exactly like Lynch! Disgusting, huh?

>

> Kids, there's NO PRIDE in being a GEEKASAURUS REX. It's a

> FALSE PATH. It also cuts into the Church's sales potential!

> I don't want any SubOrdinated novices to follow my footsteps,

> unless they're masochists. Crossdressing lesbian masochists

> in men's bodies, perhaps, but the rest of you, CROSS NOT

> THAT BORDER INTO STEVE'S ABYSS.

>

> You thought this church would protect you from the schoolyard

> bullies that grew up and became your bosses, businessmen,

> barflies, booking agents, and other authoritarian pukes.

>

> You thought WE would fight your battles for you. Glossed over

> the information provided for you to strengthen yourself.

>

> And now you think HANGING OUT in a damn clubhouse scenario

> is gonna SAVE you.

>

> Mabye we need to kill 'Bob' for GOOD this time.

>

> Or mabye one of his flesh puppets ... hmmm ....

>

> Reading material? You want reading material?!?!!

>

> Henry Miller. Jim Goad. Anton LaVey.

>

> Bludgeon yourself into higher evolution.

>

> Yeah, it's a world full of cruel rotten shits. WHAT ARE YOU

> GONNA DO ABOUT IT?! Be a dweeb who can't discern pacifism from

> passivity? IS THAT SOME KIND OF PSUEDO-REVOLUTIONARY STANCE?

> Please, what a waste.

>

> Kiddies, we can't give you a hermetically sealed paradise.

> We're not your parents. And we got our OWN horseshit to

> shovel.

>

> If you wanna whine about the $30, fine. I think of it as

> the APPLICATION fee that enables you to take the BAR EXAM

> at 'Bob's' School of Unnatural Law. And you can take it

> as many times as you like, until you PASS.

 

Goodamn, Steve, you're ALL RIGHT.

--

Dr."Cortez" Legume

 

Looking for the New World

and the Palace of the Sun

 

From kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net Sat Aug 01 07:01:33 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: "kevbob" <kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net>

Date: 1 Aug 1998 14:01:33 GMT

 

Steve Slack <Obnostic@erols.com> wrote in article

<35C20D12.854@erols.com>...

> Rev. Edward Strange wrote:

> I for one and sick beyond death of the asexual Crispin Glover

> wannabees. Even more so 'cause I used to be one. In fact,

> I used to be exactly like Lynch! Disgusting, huh?

 

you think it's disgusting that you use to be EXACTLY like dave lynch?

 

i find it hard to believe. not that you fund it disgusting, but that you

think you know dave so well.

 

>

> Kids, there's NO PRIDE in being a GEEKASAURUS REX.

 

if you can't be proud of what you are, then you have issues.

 

> It's a FALSE PATH.

 

please,

 

enlighten me,

 

which path is the TRUE one.

 

please?

 

 

> It also cuts into the Church's sales potential!

 

oh, i see.

 

because someone may or may not fit into a mold of what they should be, they

are a liability to the longevity of the church.

oh,

goody.

 

> You thought this church would protect you from the schoolyard

> bullies that grew up and became your bosses, businessmen,

> barflies, booking agents, and other authoritarian pukes.

 

i thought this church was the only honest institution i'd seen in a very

long time.

"we want your money. period."

oh, i thought, now there's something i can actually beleive, 100 %, in.

 

if i wanted a big brother to kick the mean guy's ass,

 

i woulda saved some money up and enrolled in the taikwando place down the

road.

 

> And now you think HANGING OUT in a damn clubhouse scenario

> is gonna SAVE you.

 

ya, save me from boredom.

 

i got's a question fer ya steve:

 

why are YOU hanging out in this damn clubhouse?

 

> Mabye we need to kill 'Bob' for GOOD this time.

 

what? and cut down the sale-ability of this here church?

 

> Reading material? You want reading material?!?!!

>

> Henry Miller. Jim Goad. Anton LaVey.

>

> Bludgeon yourself into higher evolution.

 

you seem to have missed the point of the book list thread. it seemed to me

to have been: "hey, these are some books _I_ liked. what books do YOU

like?" not "hey, read these if'nyou wanna be saved"

 

>

> Yeah, it's a world full of cruel rotten shits. WHAT ARE YOU

> GONNA DO ABOUT IT?! Be a dweeb who can't discern pacifism from

> passivity? IS THAT SOME KIND OF PSUEDO-REVOLUTIONARY STANCE?

> Please, what a waste.

 

whose waste?

> Kiddies, we can't give you a hermetically sealed paradise.

 

why not daddy?

 

> We're not your parents.

 

oh, sorry, you sounded like daddy for a second there.

 

> And we got our OWN horseshit to shovel.

 

and WE seem to have YOUR horseshit to shovel as well.

 

who are you mad at, steve? us? the conspiracy? people who wear skirts?

people who wear spoon hats?

 

>

> If you wanna whine about the $30, fine. I think of it as

> the APPLICATION fee that enables you to take the BAR EXAM

> at 'Bob's' School of Unnatural Law. And you can take it

> as many times as you like, until you PASS.

 

well,

 

howzabout as soon as i pass your test, you let me know.

 

the suspense is killing me.

 

--

the middle engulfs you.

 

 

From twgs@whatsthepoint.net Sat Aug 01 10:50:03 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Jahweh Lynch)

Date: Sat, 01 Aug 1998 17:50:03 GMT

 

Thus spake kevbob:

 

>you think it's disgusting that you use to be EXACTLY like dave lynch?

>

>i find it hard to believe. not that you fund it disgusting, but that you

>think you know dave so well.

 

You know, apropos of nothing, I am just now listening to Laibach's cover of

"Get Back", and especially in light of this thread, I think it would make a

FANTASTIC Holocaustal anthem. But that's just me.

 

>please,

>

>enlighten me,

>

>which path is the TRUE one.

>

>please?

 

kevbob asked one,

 

"Which path is the true one to enlightenment?"

 

The answer was given,

 

"The Buddha is not perturbed."

 

- Graffiti found on the "El", 1974

 

Incidentally, it's been a FUCK of a long time since I looked to the Church

for "salvation". What the hell do I need to be saved from? I am in this

Church for two reasons:

 

1) to learn things

2) to have a good time

 

It's done a corking good job on both counts, IMO.

 

--

"Marry a rat or a dog late in life. Avoid monkeys."

- My Chinese Fortune (oh by the way remove whats to email)

Jahweh "Dave" Lynch- Asexual Crispin Glover Wannabe At Large

JIGGY WEEK: http://www.thepoint.net/~twgs/jiggy/jiggy.htm

 

From twgs@whatsthepoint.net Fri Jul 31 15:55:23 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Jahweh Lynch)

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 22:55:23 GMT

 

Thus spake Rev. Edward Strange:

 

>The reason I joined this church in the first place was because I

>thought the world as a whole needed to lighten up. Now I'm sorry to say

>that is the church to lighten up. The evil cloak of political

>correctness has shaded your eyes from the light of truth.

 

"Political correctness" is itself a politically correct buzzword. To use

it seriously is to call damnation upon yourself.

 

> Gone are the days when SubGenius brother defended SubGenius brother

>from the tyranical hand of the Conspiracy.

 

Oh, yeah, Ed. A great job you've done defending your SubGenius brethren

from the hands of the Conspiracy. Going around insulting them for PULLING

THE WOOL OVER THEIR OWN EYES- for SUBGENIUS behavior- that's solidarity all

the way, man. Sure thing.

 

Of course, the very idea that there WERE days when SubGenius brother

defended SubGenius brother from ANYTHING is outright laughable. We're a

cadre of paranoid loners who don't trust anyone or anything, least of all

each other.

 

> The modern SubGenius seems

>more concerned about protecting thier self esteem from the criticism of

>stark realists than they are about the GUN THAT IS BEING HELD TO THEIR

>HEAD, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!! I have seen more of you jump to defend

>the tender feelings of some poor self diluted sucker than I have lift

>even one finger to do the job this church was custom built accomplish..

>

> TEAR DOWN THE WALLS !!! ALL THE FUCKING WALLS !!!

 

Ed, are you sure you and I are in the same Church? The Church I'm in says,

"Relax in the safety of your own delusions". I'm not out to destroy the

Conspiracy. You want stark realism? It can't be done. There is no way in

hell you are going to tear down the walls; hell, it's highly unlikely that

you'll tear down ANY of the walls. The most you can manage is to get

yourself killed in the process.

 

If there's one thing I've learned from this Church it's that no one person

has a claim on "Objective Reality", and that the people to claim to are

usually the most deluded of them all. You seem to relish questioning

everybody's taboos and assumptions EXCEPT FOR YOUR OWN.

 

You're a strong and devoted warrior in the battle against the Conspiracy,

and that's a good thing. But perhaps you ought to take a tip from the

folks who helped define the battle against the Conspiracy- the Muslims.

Without their Jihad, would our struggle today be as strong? I doubt it.

 

What few people- especially Muslims- realize about Jihad is that there are

two forms of Jihad- the lesser Jihad and the greater Jihad. The lesser

Jihad is the Jihad we all know and love- death to blasphemers and enemies

of Allah. The greater Jihad, however- ah, the greater Jihad. The greater

Jihad is the struggle against yourself- it is the struggle against delusion

and ignorance sown by the enemies of Allah. Before you can conquer the

world, first you must conquer that which you seek to defeat in yourself.

 

I hope this is of assistance to you.

 

--

"Marry a rat or a dog late in life. Avoid monkeys."

- My Chinese Fortune (oh by the way remove whats to email)

JIGGY WEEK: http://www.thepoint.net/~twgs/jiggy/jiggy.htm

 

From drlegume@bellatlantic.net Fri Jul 31 20:17:32 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: "Dr.Legume" <drlegume@bellatlantic.net>

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 23:17:32 -0400

 

Jahweh Lynch wrote:

> Of course, the very idea that there WERE days when SubGenius brother

> defended SubGenius brother from ANYTHING is outright laughable. We're a

> cadre of paranoid loners who don't trust anyone or anything, least of all

> each other.

 

Yo, fuck that shit, Lynch. I've stood up to mean drunks who wanted to

fight Stang. So did Pope Angus.

 

In Chicago in 1992 a guy tried to fuck with one of our brethren. I

didn't even know who this Sub was, yet I got in the face of the guy who

was picking on him.

 

Hell, I don't EVEN want to hear that shit. There are PLENTY of folks in

this church that I trust, and there are plenty of them I'd step into a

fight to protect, even if I didn't know them.

 

Hell, Lynch, if somebody picked a fight with YOU at Brushwood in front

of me, I'd plant a size ten boot in their ass. Even though you are

obviously a distrustful chickenshit.

 

With your attitude I'd be surprised if you had ANY friends outside of

Usenet.

 

--

Dr."Cortez" Legume

 

Looking for the New World

and the Palace of the Sun

 

From kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net Sat Aug 01 07:09:12 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: "kevbob" <kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net>

Date: 1 Aug 1998 14:09:12 GMT

 

Dr.Legume <drlegume@bellatlantic.net> wrote in article

> With your attitude I'd be surprised if you had ANY friends outside of

> Usenet.

 

dave may very well be a crack head, 'gumey, but he does have friends.

 

dave is one of those "faggy-intellectuals". but, he is good for something.

 

"rev." strange was saying that he just "calls it as he sees it", well,

dave's just doing the same thing. so, it's ok for strange because you guys

are drinking buddies? but it's not ok for dave?

 

man, if'n i had won the megabucks, i'd just get you two together and let

you have a sit down over a bottle of wild turkey.

 

--

wild turkey satan, jr.

 

From twgs@whatsthepoint.net Sat Aug 01 10:41:53 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Jahweh Lynch)

Date: Sat, 01 Aug 1998 17:41:53 GMT

 

Thus spake kevbob:

 

>dave is one of those "faggy-intellectuals".

 

Hey! I have never in my life sucked a dick OR read "Ulysses"! I think I

liked "asexual Crispin Glover wannabe" better.

 

--

"Marry a rat or a dog late in life. Avoid monkeys."

- My Chinese Fortune (oh by the way remove whats to email)

Jahweh "Dave" Lynch- Asexual Crispin Glover Wannabe At Large

JIGGY WEEK: http://www.thepoint.net/~twgs/jiggy/jiggy.htm

 

From twgs@whatsthepoint.net Sat Aug 01 10:40:07 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: twgs@whatsthepoint.net (Jahweh Lynch)

Date: Sat, 01 Aug 1998 17:40:07 GMT

 

Thus spake Dr.Legume:

 

>Jahweh Lynch wrote:

>> Of course, the very idea that there WERE days when SubGenius brother

>> defended SubGenius brother from ANYTHING is outright laughable. We're a

>> cadre of paranoid loners who don't trust anyone or anything, least of all

>> each other.

>

>Yo, fuck that shit, Lynch. I've stood up to mean drunks who wanted to

>fight Stang. So did Pope Angus.

 

Good. I am glad you did. But Legume, in a church of exceptions, you are

an exception. Legume, remember when you died? Remember when Stang posted

the address of your family in his tearful memorial post and said they could

really use our support in this difficult time? How much support did they

get from us?

 

>In Chicago in 1992 a guy tried to fuck with one of our brethren. I

>didn't even know who this Sub was, yet I got in the face of the guy who

>was picking on him.

>

>Hell, I don't EVEN want to hear that shit. There are PLENTY of folks in

>this church that I trust, and there are plenty of them I'd step into a

>fight to protect, even if I didn't know them.

>

>Hell, Lynch, if somebody picked a fight with YOU at Brushwood in front

>of me, I'd plant a size ten boot in their ass. Even though you are

>obviously a distrustful chickenshit.

>

>With your attitude I'd be surprised if you had ANY friends outside of

>Usenet.

 

I am starting to think that the Holocaustals have mastered a new and

advanced form of Yeti language that looks and smells* exactly like ordinary

everyday English, but is in fact COMPLETELY DIFFERENT and thus utterly

incomprehensible to anyone only schooled in the better-known English

language. I have just had a high-ranking member of a Church renowned for

its utterly cynical and paranoid vision downdress me for my cynicism and

paranoia.

 

Note, however, that this incomprehensibility is a good thing, as trying to

come to terms with your statements- which are often based on very profound

insights, insights alien to many SubGenii, even if the conclusions can be

bizarre and nonsensical- is a great form of brain isometrics. I'm not sure

if the disdain you obviously hold me in makes your comments more or less

valuable, but I think the Church is definitely a better place for your

presence.

 

* Mmmmm! Foam rubber!

--

"Marry a rat or a dog late in life. Avoid monkeys."

- My Chinese Fortune (oh by the way remove whats to email)

Jahweh "Dave" Lynch- Asexual Crispin Glover Wannabe At Large

JIGGY WEEK: http://www.thepoint.net/~twgs/jiggy/jiggy.htm

 

From terrygibson@rocketmail.com Fri Jul 31 16:47:27 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: terrygibson@rocketmail.com

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 23:47:27 GMT

 

In article <35C13332.46FF@enter.net>,

"Rev. Edward Strange" <strange@enter.net> wrote:

> The reason I joined this church in the first place was because I

> thought the world as a whole needed to lighten up.

Now I'm sorry to say

> that is the church to lighten up. The evil cloak of political

> correctness has shaded your eyes from the light of truth.

 

Enough with the TRUTH bullshit. I'm going to puke.

 

 

> Gone are the days when SubGenius brother defended SubGenius brother

> from the tyranical hand of the Conspiracy. The modern SubGenius seems

> more concerned about protecting thier self esteem from the criticism of

> stark realists

 

 

I joined the Church to AVOID "stark realists".I

prefer my truth convoluted.

 

 

 

than they are about the GUN THAT IS BEING HELD TO

THEIR

> HEAD, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!! I have seen more of you jump to defend

> the tender feelings of some poor self diluted sucker

 

Yeah, yeah everybodys deluded except those on the

"right" (sic) side of the argument. Once again I

joined the Church to.............

 

 

 

 

>

> TEAR DOWN THE WALLS !!! ALL THE FUCKING WALLS !!!

 

 

Bring it home to roost Eddy,bring it home to fucking

roost.

 

 

 

 

 

>

> Saucers....you wanted saucers? Haaaa.....everyone with a tear in their

> eye at 7:01 would have shit themselves and run the other way had they

> shown up. What most SubGenii don't understand is that it was never about

> aliens their imaginary saucers or the goddammed plastic head that is

> J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.

 

 

Preaching to the kids again Eddy?Thats nice.

 

 

 

 

 

Thats right, a sham, a plywood storefront,

superficial

> eyecandy that protected an infant church from being taken seriously and

> thusly crushed.

 

 

Thank Dobbs you are here to lead us to the promised

land Edward!!

 

 

 

>

> Well children, it's time to leave the nest. Fly away and be free or

> cash into the cold pavement head first, the choice is yours. There comes

> a time when you realize that all the bible stories, fables, and story

> tales you were told all your life were nothing more than candy coating

> for the bitter pills of life's lessons.

 

 

Including this one, I suppose?

 

 

 

 

 

To prepare you. Every religious

> denomination and walk of life has their own pills as a means to their

> own ends. None of the medicine ever works if you can't digest as shit

> out that ever so sweet candy coating.

 

 

AT LAST THE TRUTH!!!!!!!! We have no more need for a

pixelated messiah!!!! The Promised One has

arrived!!!!! EDWARD!!!!!! EDWARD!!!!!!! EDWARD!!!!!!

 

 

 

>

> And you do know where to find the best pills, don't you?

 

 

EDWARD!!!!!!!!! EDWARD!!!!!!!! EDWARD!!!!!!!!

 

 

WELL DON'T

> YOU!?!

 

 

EDWARD!!!!!!!! EDWARD!!!!!!!! EDWARD!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Apparently not, judging from the way you react

when you think

> you've been presented with critisism. You circle defensivly trying to

> gather your strength. You bahh and whinny hoping your feeble words carry

> some power, ever protective of the young and weak in the group.

 

YA, ONLY ZA STRONG *DESERVE* TO SURVIVE!!!!!!!

 

 

EXACTLY

> LIKE HEARD ANIMALS CONFRONTED BY A PREDITOR!! LIKE SHEEP, LIKE POOR DUMB

> SHEEP!!

 

 

Oh Eddy you're so dramatic.

 

 

>

> You can be healed children. But you have to stop using the Church of

> the SubGenius as a fallout shelter.

 

 

As soon as you stop using it as an outhouse.

 

 

You need to use the church to build

> a suit of armor woven of Slack and thick skin. Stop being the prey item

> and become the predator. That's what the pills are supposed to do, but

> you need to get past "Bob"

 

 

And arrive at Ed.

 

 

 

. Shit him out like yesterdays watermellon

> seeds

 

I try not to eat watermellon seeds.

 

 

 

 

> If you don't get it, you'll never have it.

 

And if you do get it, for chrisakes go to the doctor

and get it treated.

 

-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----

http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum

 

From axel@SPAMXverinet.com Fri Jul 31 20:36:27 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: axel@SPAMXverinet.com (axel heyst)

Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 21:36:27 -0600

 

In article <6ptl2f$a9$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>,

terrygibson@rocketmail.com wrote:

 

>I joined the Church to AVOID "stark realists".I

>prefer my truth convoluted.

 

I joined it to avoid paying taxes, as I heard that that was possible, and

LO, I no longer pay taxes!

 

You should try it.

 

 

Let me know,

L'axel

 

 

 

From terrygibson@rocketmail.com Sat Aug 01 17:34:38 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: terrygibson@rocketmail.com

Date: Sun, 02 Aug 1998 00:34:38 GMT

 

In article <B1E7E95B9668979BB@willow19.verinet.com>,

axel@SPAMXverinet.com (axel heyst) wrote:

> In article <6ptl2f$a9$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>,

> terrygibson@rocketmail.com wrote:

>

> >I joined the Church to AVOID "stark realists".I

> >prefer my truth convoluted.

>

> I joined it to avoid paying taxes, as I heard that that was possible, and

> LO, I no longer pay taxes!

>

> You should try it.

>

> Let me know,

> L'axel

 

 

Let you know what?

>

>

 

-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----

http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum

 

From axel@SPAMXverinet.com Sat Aug 01 18:33:47 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: axel@SPAMXverinet.com (axel heyst)

Date: Sat, 01 Aug 1998 19:33:47 -0600

 

In article <6q0c6v$gt4$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>,

terrygibson@rocketmail.com wrote:

 

>> Let me know,

>> L'axel

>

>

>Let you know what?

 

How that whole thing is going and all.

 

 

L'axel

 

 

 

From kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net Sat Aug 01 06:43:58 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Church of the New Order

From: "kevbob" <kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net>

Date: 1 Aug 1998 13:43:58 GMT

 

Rev. Edward Strange <strange@enter.net> wrote in article

<35C13332.46FF@enter.net>...

> I have seen more of you jump to defend

> the tender feelings of some poor self diluted sucker than I have lift

> even one finger to do the job this church was custom built accomplish..

> What most SubGenii don't understand is that it was never about

> aliens their imaginary saucers or the goddammed plastic head that is

> J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. Thats right, a sham, a plywood storefront, superficial

> eyecandy that protected an infant church from being taken seriously and

> thusly crushed.

> You can be healed children. But you have to stop using the Church of

> the SubGenius as a fallout shelter. You need to use the church to build

> a suit of armor woven of Slack and thick skin.

 

 

the problem with walls built around yourself, sir, is that as much as you

plan them, as much as you scheme and desire to have them work the way you

want them to,

 

they have a nifty habit of building themselves.

 

strong.

 

thick.

 

tall.

 

nothing in.

 

nothing out.

 

is that your church?

 

the church of the one man all alone, not able to feel a thing?

 

and by the time those walls do crumble, and more than likely, crumble in

upon the one they were "protecting", who will be there to say, "hey man,

you ok?"

 

noone will, because you will have alienated every one in your church.

 

sure, telling someone that they are "ok" is weak and faggy and sorry-assed.

 

suck it up.

 

sometimes you have to protect them, lest they crumble into dust.

 

how many pinkboy condupe blah blah blah's are actually burn-outs? how many

of them would have been good and decent people, if it weren't for the fact

that they had been presented with a stark reality too often, too quickly?

 

you wanna sit in yer little castle and fire shells at people,

 

go ahead,

 

but you may find yourself on a barren battlefield. and once you've won,

well,

what will be your prize?

 

 

--

the middle engulfs you.