From Wed Aug 12 19:28:41 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.binaries.slack,alt.friday,,alt.stories.erotica

Subject: My First Prairie Squid

From: (IrRev. Friday Jones)

Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1998 22:28:41 -0400



© 1998 by the IrReverend Friday Jones





I was lying in bed, casually re-reading Pamphlet #1 when the phone rang. I

dropped the paper and went to answer it; on the other end my boyfriend,

Les, was nearly incoherent. What he finally managed to tell me was that two of our

friends in Boston had returned from a fishing trip on the Miskatonic River with

nothing more nor less than a genuine, live, brand-spanking-new prairie squid!

And they wanted us to come over and play with it!


I was dressed and out the door in less than five minutes, hopping on the bus

into Boston. Prairie squid! How much I'd heard about this sexually ravenous

beast, this creature designed by some trick of nature (or perhaps the hand of

"Bob" himself?) to be the ultimate sex toy to man and woman alike.


As I sat on the bus, I felt my groin getting hotter and hotter. The sticky

patch on the outside of my jeans grew, until I was sure that I was going to

stick to the seat, sure that everyone around me could smell how sexually



I was. Actually thought, it was late in the evening, and I practically had the

whole bus to myself. Picking up a newspaper on the seat beside me, I folded it

open and held it in front of my body. pretending to read it, while my other

hand slid into my lap. Ohhh ... I could feel the heat from my pussy right

through my pants. My fingers were wet just from touching my inseam. I licked

my fingers under cover of the newspaper, and thought about the warm smell of

my own cunt ... how would it smell after I'd been introduced to the squid?


When I got to Boston, I went immediately to my friend's apartment. Les was

waiting in the doorway outside, and without saying a word I went into his arms,

feeling him embrace me, squeezing me close against the throbbing bulge of his

beautiful cock inside his pants. We rubbed up against one another, speechless

with desire. One of our hottest fantasies was about to come true! I wondered

if I could get Les to "share" the squid with me ...


When we got up to the apartment, though, it was almost too late. Doug was in

the living room, screaming; his hand was clenched to his bloody underwear. "It

bit me!" he screamed, his glasses fogging with rage. "The fucking little beast



"Haven't you debeaked it?" I shouted, wondering simultaneously where the poor

thing was. Doug and David looked at me with identical looks of stupid non-

comprehension. "You know, taken its beak out. Are there any pliers here?"

"Ugh!" said David. "I couldn't do that to a squid. Besides, it'll

starve!" "I don't care!" screamed Doug, whose pride was obviously bitten

more deep than his cock. "I hope it starves! I hope it dies! I hope .."


"Les, why don't you try and calm down Doug?" I said, nudging my boyfriend

urgently in the ribs. He shook himself and went to take Doug's arm,

getting him to sit down. I went into the other room, in search of the

creature that had caused all the commotion.


It was quieter in the bedroom, and I could hear the faint rustling of

something under the bed. I reached into my purse and fished out my

heavy-duty nail clippers; they would have to do to get the beak out. Did I

have anything to use for squid bait? I looked into my purse, searching

around for the square of fudge that sometimes gets hidden in the bottom

(where Les can't see it) and when I looked back the squid had come out from

under the bed.


I gasped soundlessly; I hadn't expected it to be beautiful. Glowing like a

perfectly iridescent pearl, the squid was a gleaming white with glittering

dots of blue pigment around its tapering barrel. I estimated it was about

twenty inches from its pink-flushed glans to the tips of its tentacles.

Crisp little red hairs peeked out from under its arms, and formed a most

flirtatious set of eyelashes around its luscious blue eyes. My own eyes

roamed over the tapering, cock-shaped barrel, which wiggled and pulsed

before me. Would it wiggle and pulse just as delightfully inside of me?

Only one way to find out ...


I stood up and slowly took off my clothes. The squid seemed to be watching

me as I peeled out of my T-shirt and jeans; perhaps it admired the furry

red cleft so much like its own. I got the fudge out of my purse, carefully

unwrapped it, and crumbled it into my palm. The other hand still held the

nail clippers. I reached down with the fudge, and as gentle as you please,

the squid wrapped its chubby little tentacles around my fingers and

clambered into my hand. I could feel its vulva-like "mouth" kissing

against my palm, and a brief touch of something harder almost made me

flinch as I sat down on the bed, naked. There definitely was still a beak

attached to this beast!


I put down the clippers and touched the squid's barrel. Firm,

soft-skinned. I wrapped my hand around it, feeling the little ripples

going up and down it. The squid squeezed its mouth against my palm,

sucking at me - it enjoyed it! It was almost done with the fudge too.

Carefully I let it lay along my arm, cupping it against my chest, and

picked up the nail clippers. I could see the two tiny tips of the beak

peering out. All of the manuals said this wouldn't hurt, but ...


Quickly I grasped the tips of the beak between the clippers and pulled. I

was sure in my heart that it would be like pulling a fingernail or a tooth,

so I was surprised - in fact I pulled much too hard - because the beak came

out like pulling a spoon out of ice cream. Just like everyone said! The

squid hardly even twitched. I looked at the tiny, pearly beak, and

carefully set it aside on the end table. As I reached out my arm, the

squid caressed my swaying breast with its tentacles. I moaned; the

feathery touch was like being caressed by the most skilled hand imaginable.


The tentacles cupped my breast, traced the underside lightly, fondled my

nipple, squeezed just right. It reached up to grab on with all of its

tentacles, and then its mouth started nibbling at my nipple like the mouth

of some perfect incubus. I moaned again and lay down on the bed; the squid

was just making me feel too good. As it sucked harder on my nipple, making

it erect and puckered, its tentacles strayed over and started caressing my

other breast. I was in Paradise!


That's what I thought at least, until the squid started slithering down my

body, making a beeline (or is that squidline?) for my cunt. That's when I

knew that the pleasure had just begun, and I was in the merest antechamber

of Paradise.


I think that we can all agree that having a person's mouth on one's

privates can be a more-than-usually pleasurable experience. Now imagine

that the mouth against you is more intimately wet than you are; that it can

suck and suck and suck without the slightest need to come up for air; and

that it is equipped not with a tongue to lick and flutter and caress and

probe, but TEN tongues - and you may get the faintest inkling of what I

felt when the squid locked onto my pussy.


I could feel the squid's puffy lips clenching on my own, and kneading. And

pulsing. And buzzing. And vibrating. Two of its tentacles chased their

tips around and around and around my throbbing love button. Three

tentacles slipped themselves deep inside my vagina, twining around each

other, rubbing my inner walls into a frenzy. One slick tip was teasing my

bottom hole, rimming me around and around. The other tentacles were

clenching against my thighs, holding on for dear life.


I could feel my pussy throbbing like a giant heart, pulsing with life. I

was wetter than I'd ever been - that poor prairie squid might be in danger

of drowning! I looked down and realized that in its present position, the

squid clamped against my thighs looked like a giant, exotic penis growing

out of my groin. I bobbed my hips up and down, enthralled at the heavy

sway and tug of it, and shivered as I felt the squid get a "better grip" on

me. But as wonderful as the squid's mouth was, I wanted to test its diving



The squid, however, seemed to be awfully eager for the nectar that was

flowing so bountifully from my love crack, and didn't want to let go. I

tried tickling it, but it just wriggled - and sucked even harder. That

felt so good that my eyes teared. I decided I was going about this the

wrong way, and started stroking the squid's barrel, which looks exactly

like a huge, albino penis. I put one hand on each side and rolled it

gently back and forth, like a rolling pin.


The squid's sucking paused for a moment, then resumed.


Wetting my fingers in my mouth, I traced them along the base of the glans,

and watched the pink flush of the tip deepen towards red.

The squid's tentacles around my thighs loosened - slightly.

I started stroking the squid up and up and up, releasing at the tip and

letting my hand grab it by the base, sliding along its velvety flesh,

feeling it throb with urgency, harder and harder with each stroke.

Finally the squid seemed to get the idea. Its heavy barrel bobbed down

against my stomach, and its tentacles tippy-toed down my thighs as it

slithered into position to slip deep inside my own briny ocean. As its tip

wiggled delightfully down my belly, I twitched in a mixture of passion and

fear. It was SO big right now - would it fit in the confines of my pussy?

Nature provided most handily. When the squid's barrel tip reached my

vagina, it slithered up and down a few times, as though to "test the

waters". Every stroke sent a new wave of wetness gushing down my thighs.


Finally, it started to insert itself.


It was not a thrust, not a slide, not a wriggle; yet definitely the squid's

barrel was sinking deeper and deeper into me, parting my inner lips,

stretching me, filling me to the brim. That half-dance, half-lunging

motion - ah! Now I knew what it was!


The squid SWAM inside of me, and I was transfixed with pleasure -

literally. As the squid's tentacles once again locked around my thighs

(except this time 'facing' the other way) I felt jolting, almost painful

excitement. The rich smell of my own cunt mingled with the perfumy/fishy

smell of the squid. It was inside me, swaying to and fro as though still

swimming in the deepest sea of my body. A few tentacles wandered behind

its eyes and started caressing my clit and butt again. I moaned, a long,

slow moan that ended with a squeak when I saw that Les had come into the

room. He was naked. His eyes were riveted between my legs.


I was suddenly conscious of how I must look: sprawled backwards on the bed,

my hips raising and falling of themselves, and inbetween my legs the bright

blue eyes, twining tentacles of and luscious labialike mouth of the squid.

With most of its length buried in my body, it probably looked like my

vagina had grown arms and was trying to escape. The soaked sunburst of

russet hair between my legs mingled with the natural pelt of the squid,

enhancing the effect.


Les wasn't fooled though: he knew that what I had between my legs was not

some runaway vagina but the quivering orifice of a prairie squid - and he

wanted to try it himself! His own penis was erect, bouncing eagerly

against his belly as he leaned over the both of us. As he sank down, the

squid reached up with its tentacles and grabbed him, milking at his shaft

and bringing droplets of precum raining down on the squid's eager mouth.

Remembering the sucking the squid had given me, I wondered how it would

feel to have it slurping along the length of a penis, surrounding it,

enveloping it…


Well, Les was determined to find out, and didn't want me to miss a stroke!

Carefully supporting his weight on his arms, he let the squid's dancing

tentacles draw him down to the luscious pouting labia/mouth. It opened,

kissing at him, sucking him, drawing him in. Tentacles cupped his softly

furred balls and grabbed around his thighs as well. We were locked

together, joined at the squid which had a grip on both of us - and didn't

seem the least bit interested in letting go!


We were the ones who let go. As Les thrust, the delightful pressure of him

was transmitted into the walls of my own cunny by the squid, and when I

squeezed my vagina tight, the squid squeezed Les in return. As he pulled

back, I could hear the squid sucking at him, literally inhaling him,

encouraging him to come back. And he did!


With every thrust my passion reached a new peak. My own hands were

frantically caressing my breasts, Les' face, and the squid between us:

tickling, wiggling, cuddling. Les' every moan was more of an explosion as

he thrust into the tight, sucking confines of the squid and me at once. I

loved the feeling of this intimate double penetration, the tentacles still

finding every little pleasure nook between my legs and teasing it to full



I was greedy for cock. I wished I could have every orifice of my body

crammed with penis - or squid - all at once, all right now! When I saw

Doug and David come in, I thought my fantasy was coming true. Until David

held up the light, and Doug the video camera, and they started filming me,

Les and the squid fucking.


"Take your clothes off. I want your cocks in me. Please, I held my

hands out to them imploringly. Les didn't even miss a beat, lost in the

fleshy folds of the squid. "Please, I want your cocks, I want you to fuck

me, fuck me, suck me, NOW!" My mouth longed to be blasted full of salty

seed, my ass was a gaping abyss that no tentacle could truly stuff, and

those fools were just filming it instead of joining in!


I wanted to scream in frustration, but the anger was transmuted to

sweetest, fullest pleasure by the squid and Les, now both bucking in their

final throes of pleasure. "Oh… you… DUMBASSES!" I wailed, and I came.

All of the throbbing inside my cunt united into a single flame that

scorched every inch of me, devouring me, sending me soaring to the ultimate

height of pleasure. I heard Les cry out as he shot his load deep into the

hungry maw of the squid, and collapsed atop me. As we lay there,

exhausted, I could hear and feel the squid sucking Les clean. My eyes were

closed, but I heard Doug and David head into the next room.


The prairie squid sucked the last drop of juice out of Les, and as soon as

he slipped from the confines of his aqueous lover, the squid reversed

directions and started inhaling my own fluids. No wet spot to worry about

with this love beast! Once it had licked every inch of my vagina clean,

even slipping its tentacles deep inside me to fish out the last drops, it

started sliding its own tentacles around its barrel and then stuffing them

in its mouth. That was one satisfied-looking, well-fed squid!


Les and I put our clothes back on and looked in the other room, wanting to

ask Doug and David when we could come back and play with the squid again.

I wanted to yell at them that damnit, they'd had a chance at a sexual

experience that would have blown their minds right out of the points on the

top of their tiny little heads! And they just passed it up! My asshole

might never forgive them!


Doug and David were sitting in front of the TV, watching the videotape of

me and Les fucking the squid. Even with the real squid still in the next

room, perky as could be, they were far more interested in the image on

their TV screen. They eyes were slightly glazed. Neither of them noticed

we were there.


I looked at Les. He looked at me. I went and tucked the prairie squid into

my jacket, picked up my purse and headed for the door. We'd have to get a

pickle jar…


I looked behind me as the door closed. "Those idiots probably won't even

notice that it's gone," chuckled Les.


I nodded in agreement, feeling the squid squirm against my T-shirt.




(For more information about prairie squid, visit