From firstname.lastname@example.org Thu Dec 17 13:37:37 1998
Subject: Re: US be bombing Iraq
From: W'h'eezer G. Wilco <email@example.com>
Date: 17 Dec 1998 13:37:37 -0800
In article <firstname.lastname@example.org>, email@example.com says...
>Get off of your newsreader and get to a radio. It's happening now.
>Reverend David Voth
Well, true to form, the sequel is not as good as the original. None of the cast
members from the first campaign are key players in this one, and even with the
plot twist of the presidential scandal, this bombing falls far short of
With virtually no merchandising whatsoever, the public will have a hard time
without some item to collect or display to endear this stinker to them. I
can only think that they have run out of colors for ribbons, the Burger
King/McDonalds people are too deeply entrenched in Antz/A Bugs Life
(respectively) giveaways, or they are planning on taking the entire war straight
to video in mid-1999. Rumors of a plush "Sodomy Saddam Republican Guard" beanie
doll were apparently unfounded.
Many newsgoers that will want to see big-budget explosions from hi-tech cameras
mounted on the tips of the bombs will be sorely disappointed. So far no Iraqis
have yet been taped running screaming from a building just a fraction of a
second too late to be pulped by the sheer pressure of the explosion. Most of
the video has been low-budget shots of tracer rounds fired at decoys over
Baghdad. Personally, I walked in expecting far more from this action. Also,
many who were wanting to get reaquainted with their favorite characters from the
last war, like Secretary of State Baker and the universally celebrated Colin
Powell, will not only miss them, but find them ill replaced by Schwartz and that
"other guy". Most of their labored humor falls embarassingly flat, compounded
by "Look Who Simply Refuses to Shut The Fuck Up Now"'s John Travolta playing a
highly unconvincing President Clinton.
In conclusion: If you're going to tune in to only one war during this holiday
bombing season, do not make it this one. The lackluster rewrite by an entirely
different production team fails on many levels to capture the imagination and
inspiration of the greatest country that ever bombed people into dirt (for all
the right reasons).
W'h'eezer's Rating: **
*________Get's It's Ass Kicked By "America's Wildest Police Chases X"
**_______Not Worth a History Channel Special
***______Don't Deserve a News Graphic****_____They Found Mass Graves Where?
*****____Rawandan Luau and Pit BBQ!
Heretic Order of the Golden Brown
First Church of Little Chocolate City