From kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net Wed Aug 05 19:36:13 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: alt.slack.brat.pack.faq v1a

From: "kevbob" <kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net>

Date: 6 Aug 1998 02:36:13 GMT

 

1) What is alt.slack all about, anyway?

 

well, see, um, it's a newsgroup. which is part of usenet. which is part of

the Internet. which is my hobby. it's good to have hobbies.

 

2) um, i asked what alt.slack was, and all i got was some gobbledy-gook,

"i'm so cool cuz i'm on the inside", "you are a stupid newbie and we will

continue to mock you until we become bored", "try alt.discordia", "Try

alt.flame", we wish you were dead, won't you ever learn to configure your

newsreader the right way so you attribute correctly and while your at it

you suck..

 

so?

 

3) can i post to alt.slack without being called various names?

 

no.

 

seriously, you can't. it's usenet, get over it. we know you have an ego

problem, or else you wouldn't be posting so that 30k+ odd people can see

your thoughts. the question is: is your ego fragile, or ALL- ENCOMPASSING?

if it's fragile, go away. seriously. not for OUR good, but for YOUR

good. we'll make you cry. sure, we'll SAY you annoy us, but in reality,

all you do is provide us petty amusement. on the other hand, if you have a

LARGE ego, then take the ball and run with it little timmy. it's not like

it hasn't happened before.

 

4) who is in charge of alt.slack?

 

your news admin. sheit is responsible for the filters on incoming and

outgoing messages from your site. noone who posts to alt.slack can stop

you. go wild. of course, you run the risk of looking like a complete fool.

that's right, call iceknife a pimp for stang. do it. go on. it's not like

anyone is going to be able to say "no, you can't do that." since, well, you

might have just done that.

 

5) what is slack?

 

someone once said "ask 4 people what slack is, and you'll get varying

responses" or sumthing. i don't know who said it, or what they said, but in

a nutshell, that's it. i know it's somehting that comes from inside. and

that you need to give money to someone to put their kids through college,

but, i dunno, read Pastor Craig's FAQ, i'm pretty sure he has some good

stuff in it, but i can never get past the first 80 pages to see.

 

6) are you going to have any of those faq entries like "there is no number

X"?

 

no, those were amusing the first N times i saw them.

 

7) People really seem to hate each other here.

 

Well, ya. they prolly do. but then again, trolling is usenet's number one

pasttime. if someone calls someone else a really nasty name, don't jump in

and start defending either party, unless you have a nifty new spelling

flame. see, some people here actually express how much they really LIKE

someone else by attempting to flame them. and of course, sometimes they are

just trying to flame them becaseu they REALLy don't like them, and

sometimes the person doing the flaming isn't even flaming anyone in

particular and is just ranting. it's alot like grade school. the boy may

have spit in the girls hair because he really likes her, he really doens't

like her, or becasue he had a mouth full of chaw and was about to swallow.

 

8) wassa rant?

 

ok. um, er, um, ya know when something REALLY pisses you? REALLY REALLY

gets your goat? and you HAVE to tell someone about it, or YOU WILL EXPLODE?

well, that's, um, a rant. kind of. it's also something that the people

who do the church thing for a living call what they write when they get

paid. or sumthing. um, a rant is like slack. hell, everything is like

slack. what is slack? goto 5.

 

9) ok, i narrowly avoided your not so subtle infinite loop. HA! now, i'm a

real big haquer, and want to upload a 50 MB binary of my ass, and i'm not

really asking, cuz i'm a kewl haquer, no, you are actually writeing this

not-question solely so you can answer it preemptively.

 

SPUTUM

 

10) wassa sputum? are you trying to tie into your really ugly spitting

analogy from question 7?

 

no, no spit. SPUTUM stands for something, but, well, AUA and all that.

it's, um, like a subgenius-internet-jacker-bigbrother-Conspiracy-Anti

conspiracy thingey.

or sumthing. they have a web page. they do not appreciate binaries in their

non-binary groups. there is an alt.binary.slack with a REAL faq. read it.

or sumthin.

 

11) people use all these clique-ish sounding words, like frop, and lotsa

stuff i can't spell. what do they mean? how do i get on the inside?

 

well, this newsgroup is frequented by a lot of members of a church. like

all churches, this one has super-sekret-cool words, that you need to pay

people to learn. you can buy these books, borrow them, check them out if a)

you have a cool library and b) some jerk hasn't stolen them, or goto the

subgenius web page. you can also send money to them and they will send you

back some info. also, you can become an ordained minister for, um, 30

dollars. i think. you can also ordain other people. i'm pretty sure. this

is a pretty lame faq, and harbors no serious answers as of now. until then,

um, deal.

 

12) x-day? saucers? sex goddesses? oh my! (hehe, get it? like wizard of

oz?) {and you wonder why you have been flamed and called a lame newbie}

 

yes. religion stuff. if you find it interesting, buy the books. they

definitely fail to suck. they are: amusing; have LOTS of RILLY

nifty-keen-cool pictures. not just black and white, but, um, that word for

really good quality art; have a lot of hidden truth to them; and tell you

when they are going to insult you, most unlike every other major/minor

brainwashing organization. x-day, incidentally, is the end of the world as

we know it. which, if you have been paying attention in theses rapidly

changing times, is everyday.

 

13) who is everybody?

 

damned if i know. i'm noone. stang posts occasionally, and a lot of the

"church hierarchy". but then, this is usenet, and everybody is a minor

celebrity here, so who CARES who they are? chances are if i KNEW who they

are, i wouldn't tell you, and if i did tell you, the chances are REALLY

good that they would track me down and hurt ME! that would be a bad thing.

a very bad thing.

anyway, real names don't mean anything anyway. would you read someone's

posts differently if you knew there middle name was willow dance? yes, and

THAT is why they are using nicks.

also, read deja news, read some of the alt.slack archives on the subg web

site (IF you can FIND THEM DAMMIT! my PERSONAL opinnion is that subsite is

actually the CotSG's online parable of the internet's s/n ration. anyway),

or lurk for awhile. someone once posted some numbers that there were a lot

of lurkers, join them.

or don't.

 

14) ok, i HAVE been lurking, and i have something REALLY COOL/LAME to post,

but i'm afraid i'll look like a fool.

 

oh no, poor baby. look like a fool? too bad. regardless of WHAT you post,

someone will love it, and someone will hate it. generally, you will see

the flames, and not hear the praise (or so i keep telling myself). that's

how it is.

either post,

or don't.

the choice is YOURS. do NOT allow someone ELSE to make that choice FOR

YOU!!! that's what THEY want you to do.

 

15) so and so is REALLY offensive, and won;t go away.

 

so? Killfile them or Kill them. and i'd REALLY suggest the former, since

many of the seemingly calm personalities in this group are READY TO SNAP in

an instance. now, let's say ANNNNA, for whatever reason, bothered you. and

you think, hey, she's a girl, i could take her.

 

well, think again. she's a girl? why do you say that? becasue SHE says so?

HA! annnna is ACTUALLY a vietnam vet whose ONLY way to NOT snap is to let

one of the multiple personalities out to talk. now, the therapist keeps

"her" under house arest, so the only way to get out and communicate, is

through the internet. nuff said.

 

seriously, if you don't like it, don;t read it. if someone offended you

once, ignore them from then on. or, don't.

 

addendums:

 

A1) some posters seem to be saying that everyone sucks. What's up with

that?

 

crack.

 

A2) seriously, some people post really dumbass shit, and basically yell and

scream how everyone else has problems, or how they suck. i mean, isn't that

hypocritical? what are they doing?

 

crack.

 

A3) what the hell are you talking about? are you taking drugs?

 

crack.

 

A4) above, you mentioned pastor craig's faq as being a good place to find

out more about this newsgroup. i've been trying to find it, since your faq

sucks. where is it?

 

i don't know. pastor craig went away.

 

A5) where did he go?

 

he changed his nume de pleur and can be found in subgenius irc.

occassionally.

 

if your, um,

 

lucky.

 

A6) subgenius irc?

 

yes.

 

A7) i really want to become a member of the church hierchy. how can i do

that? should i post a lot of stuff about bob?

 

first,

learn how to spell it.

 

second,

sure. post all you want to about bob. he likes that. a lot.

 

really.

 

seriously,

 

i am NOT being sarcastic. the church definitely needs more of that stuff.

knock yourself out.

 

it's all about slack,

baybee.

 

A8) where have all the oldbies gone?

 

you made them go away.

 

A9) i don't see why people can tell me that my posts aren't slackful. i

mean, GEE, it brought ME slack, so it IS slackful, right?

 

no.

you are wrong.

you always were wrong.

you always will be wrong.

die.

 

A10) where do you get off?

 

maybe that brought me slack.

 

A11) oh. so by being mean and bitchy, and stealing my slack, others will be

more slackful?

 

if someone was able to steal your slack, then you don't get it yet.

 

A12) is everyone full of shit?

 

yes.

 

A13)

--

excuse, justification, reason. these are not the same.