From kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net Tue Jul 21 18:59:27 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: the crow in my craw:

From: "kevbob" <kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net>

Date: 22 Jul 1998 01:59:27 GMT

 

the thing that's getting me right now, it's nothing big, it's a little

thing, an itty bitty teeny weeny tiny little thing: um, i can't think of it

right now.

 

but what's up with the movie going public?

 

wait a minute, i just remembered what's pissing me off. it's hot out. i

mean it's REALLY FUCKING HOT OUT. i hate the heat. i hate the humidity. i

hate the glaring brightness of the sunshine that makes me squint so hard

that the crow's feet from squinting have crow's feet and it's so fucking

hot out that those crow's feet are jumping up and down becasue it's so hot

and their little crow toes are frying as if they had been enterred into the

circle of hell solely restricted for dumbass yankees who wind up in

tenessee and don;t have the brains or the impetus to get the hell out kind

of puniching fire and brimstone heat circle of hell type of thing.

 

and the sunshine is so bright and i hate having to fucking squint because i

can;t afford to buy prescription sunglasses and i can;t afford to where

cheap-ass sunglasses and run off the road and all i can afford is to go to

wallmart to buy $1.07 per pack microwave meals (not the mexican meals not

because they make me sick to my stomach from eating them just sick to my

stomach at looking at them still frozen please don;t even ask me to begint

o think about the idea of even describing what they appear to look like

(because you can't see what they really look like, it's just not for this

world, all you see is what your demented brain will let you see) after they

are cooked cuz it's so fucking nasty) and 97 cent punch out Rik Ocasek

tapes and not even the new Rik Ocasek tape ("why the long face ric?" gods i

wished i hadn't wasted so much of my life way back when actually thinking

about watching sat. night live let alone the actual time i wasted watching

it) with the hit new hip new single on it but the one released in 1993 that

really kinda sucks except for one song that sounds almost identical to

nearly every other Cars song becasue it has that same synth sound to gee i

wonder why as if he was in the cars of sumthing go figure

 

and i keep forgetting my slip on the outside of your normal glasses

sunglasses that i got free from my dad who got them free last time he went

in to get his glasses changed out for the cheap-o your on state health

insurance section of the scummy optometrist that actually takes state

insurance in town that have a fucking NASCAR fucking emblem written on the

top of the left or right i can never remember becasue i never look at them

because i keep forgetting them at home and if i do rememebr them it's

generally ona day SOOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking hot and humid that i can;t put

them on when i get in the car because the humidity has fogged up my OTHER

glasses and if i even TRY to THINK about putting on the snap on sunglass

thingys that have been in my bag in the office in the airconditioning my

RETINAS will fog up i hate weather and climates and dew points fuck you

very much.

 

and since my fucking house has no INSULATION on the second floor and since

the GENIUS who invented ROOFING materials decided to make the shingles

BLACK a COLOR (THAT'S RIGHT I KNOW BLACK AND WHITE ARE _SHADES_ AND I JUST

CALLED IT A COLOR!!!! HUH? YOU WANT SOME? YOU WANT A PIECE? COME GET SOME

SPOONBOY!!!) that ABSORBS heat it's SOOOOOOOOO hot upstairs that my glasses

fog up in THERE TOO even EVEN with BOTH air conditioning window units that

clog up and then the condensation pools on the first floor ceiling right

around the ceiling fan can you say ELECTRICAL FIRE i thought so thank you

very much

 

so i can either sit int he air conditioning downstairs where home shopping

is playing TWENTY-FOUR fucking SEVEN and if i had any MONEY and not the

BILLS that even if i could use my ENTIRE salary from a whole YEAR i still

couldn't pay off in a YEAR AND A HALF thank you very much MINUMUM fucking

WAGE or i would QUIT my job and live on WELFARE and DRINK MYSELF TO DEATH

i;d move the fuck out of the house so instead

 

i go to the office with nice cold AIR CONDITIONING and i can SMOKE there

and actually HERE the cd player with the BLOWN OUT SPEAKERS and the

SKIPPING of the first 20 seconds of the first track since the WINDOW units

UPSTAIRS are so LOUD that my clearance at RADIO SHACK cheap ass "STEREO"

can't be heard where i can RELAX and read alt.slack and maybe actually do

something USEFUL

 

EXCEPT

 

some DUMBASS who can't think for himSELF or read PLAIN ENGLISH looks at his

WATCH and realizes it 8:30 PM and says

 

gee, i bet there's somebody at the office, why don;t i call.

 

well,

 

 

I'VE HAD IT ABOUT UP TO FUCKING HERE WITH THE MOVIE GOING PUBLIC!!!!

 

 

when ANYBODY goes to the movie they want to ESCAPE from their PATHETIC and

MISERBLE EXCUSES that they call LIVES and GET AWAY FROM IT ALL if ONLY for

a BREIF interval

 

but why the hell do they even BOTHER when EVERY MOVIE that's MADE and gets

to my local VIDEOSTORE is the SAME SEVEN MOVIES OVER AND OVER AND OVER

AGAIN!

 

and it's not like i'm blaming the MOVIE MAKES because

 

1: i'd do the EXACT same thing becasue if the CATTLE are going to go and

MOO for more MILKDUDS as they LAP IT ALL UP AND PAY MORE FOR A TICKET THAN

I MAKE IN AN HOUR then MORE POWER TO THE MOVIE COMPANIES!

 

2: there ARE different, although as rare as me HAPPY, movies out there BUT

they never seem to GET anywhere to where i could SEE them becasue all the

HIP and AVANT GARDE people in this area were either KILLED, run out of TOWN

or ARE FIGMENTS OF DIFFERENT CULTURES IMAGINATIONS.

 

 

and THAT

 

THAT is why i whole heartedly support the tax increases on cigarettes. if

i;m going to be a DUMBASS and smoke 2 packs a day as i DO so don't even

THINK about saying "oh, you don't smoke, we were tricked into smoking

becasue we thought the MARLBORO MAN was some kind of IDEAL to LIVE UP TO

when we were in SECOND GRADE" becasue i just don;t BUY IT and even if it

was TRUE who fucking cares? like i need more INCOME tax taken out of my

check ALREADY at least let me CHOOSE to be a DUMBASS

 

1: by buying CIGARETTES _AND_ by giving up on the special lights and just

SUCKING the tar in

 

and

 

2: let me CHOOSE to pay taxes so that some dumb ass ATTENTION STARVED

WANNABE COOL GUY can bully the secret SERVICE into letting him hear how the

PRESIDENT masturbates when he's watching COKIE ROBERTS.

 

 

 

--

if the middle doesn't end soon,

it's gonna be a long week.