From kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net Tue Jul 21 18:59:27 1998
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: the crow in my craw:
From: "kevbob" <kevbob.AlLsPaM@ecsis.net>
Date: 22 Jul 1998 01:59:27 GMT
the thing that's getting me right now, it's nothing big, it's a little
thing, an itty bitty teeny weeny tiny little thing: um, i can't think of it
right now.
but what's up with the movie going public?
wait a minute, i just remembered what's pissing me off. it's hot out. i
mean it's REALLY FUCKING HOT OUT. i hate the heat. i hate the humidity. i
hate the glaring brightness of the sunshine that makes me squint so hard
that the crow's feet from squinting have crow's feet and it's so fucking
hot out that those crow's feet are jumping up and down becasue it's so hot
and their little crow toes are frying as if they had been enterred into the
circle of hell solely restricted for dumbass yankees who wind up in
tenessee and don;t have the brains or the impetus to get the hell out kind
of puniching fire and brimstone heat circle of hell type of thing.
and the sunshine is so bright and i hate having to fucking squint because i
can;t afford to buy prescription sunglasses and i can;t afford to where
cheap-ass sunglasses and run off the road and all i can afford is to go to
wallmart to buy $1.07 per pack microwave meals (not the mexican meals not
because they make me sick to my stomach from eating them just sick to my
stomach at looking at them still frozen please don;t even ask me to begint
o think about the idea of even describing what they appear to look like
(because you can't see what they really look like, it's just not for this
world, all you see is what your demented brain will let you see) after they
are cooked cuz it's so fucking nasty) and 97 cent punch out Rik Ocasek
tapes and not even the new Rik Ocasek tape ("why the long face ric?" gods i
wished i hadn't wasted so much of my life way back when actually thinking
about watching sat. night live let alone the actual time i wasted watching
it) with the hit new hip new single on it but the one released in 1993 that
really kinda sucks except for one song that sounds almost identical to
nearly every other Cars song becasue it has that same synth sound to gee i
wonder why as if he was in the cars of sumthing go figure
and i keep forgetting my slip on the outside of your normal glasses
sunglasses that i got free from my dad who got them free last time he went
in to get his glasses changed out for the cheap-o your on state health
insurance section of the scummy optometrist that actually takes state
insurance in town that have a fucking NASCAR fucking emblem written on the
top of the left or right i can never remember becasue i never look at them
because i keep forgetting them at home and if i do rememebr them it's
generally ona day SOOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking hot and humid that i can;t put
them on when i get in the car because the humidity has fogged up my OTHER
glasses and if i even TRY to THINK about putting on the snap on sunglass
thingys that have been in my bag in the office in the airconditioning my
RETINAS will fog up i hate weather and climates and dew points fuck you
very much.
and since my fucking house has no INSULATION on the second floor and since
the GENIUS who invented ROOFING materials decided to make the shingles
BLACK a COLOR (THAT'S RIGHT I KNOW BLACK AND WHITE ARE _SHADES_ AND I JUST
CALLED IT A COLOR!!!! HUH? YOU WANT SOME? YOU WANT A PIECE? COME GET SOME
SPOONBOY!!!) that ABSORBS heat it's SOOOOOOOOO hot upstairs that my glasses
fog up in THERE TOO even EVEN with BOTH air conditioning window units that
clog up and then the condensation pools on the first floor ceiling right
around the ceiling fan can you say ELECTRICAL FIRE i thought so thank you
very much
so i can either sit int he air conditioning downstairs where home shopping
is playing TWENTY-FOUR fucking SEVEN and if i had any MONEY and not the
BILLS that even if i could use my ENTIRE salary from a whole YEAR i still
couldn't pay off in a YEAR AND A HALF thank you very much MINUMUM fucking
WAGE or i would QUIT my job and live on WELFARE and DRINK MYSELF TO DEATH
i;d move the fuck out of the house so instead
i go to the office with nice cold AIR CONDITIONING and i can SMOKE there
and actually HERE the cd player with the BLOWN OUT SPEAKERS and the
SKIPPING of the first 20 seconds of the first track since the WINDOW units
UPSTAIRS are so LOUD that my clearance at RADIO SHACK cheap ass "STEREO"
can't be heard where i can RELAX and read alt.slack and maybe actually do
something USEFUL
EXCEPT
some DUMBASS who can't think for himSELF or read PLAIN ENGLISH looks at his
WATCH and realizes it 8:30 PM and says
gee, i bet there's somebody at the office, why don;t i call.
well,
I'VE HAD IT ABOUT UP TO FUCKING HERE WITH THE MOVIE GOING PUBLIC!!!!
when ANYBODY goes to the movie they want to ESCAPE from their PATHETIC and
MISERBLE EXCUSES that they call LIVES and GET AWAY FROM IT ALL if ONLY for
a BREIF interval
but why the hell do they even BOTHER when EVERY MOVIE that's MADE and gets
to my local VIDEOSTORE is the SAME SEVEN MOVIES OVER AND OVER AND OVER
AGAIN!
and it's not like i'm blaming the MOVIE MAKES because
1: i'd do the EXACT same thing becasue if the CATTLE are going to go and
MOO for more MILKDUDS as they LAP IT ALL UP AND PAY MORE FOR A TICKET THAN
I MAKE IN AN HOUR then MORE POWER TO THE MOVIE COMPANIES!
2: there ARE different, although as rare as me HAPPY, movies out there BUT
they never seem to GET anywhere to where i could SEE them becasue all the
HIP and AVANT GARDE people in this area were either KILLED, run out of TOWN
or ARE FIGMENTS OF DIFFERENT CULTURES IMAGINATIONS.
and THAT
THAT is why i whole heartedly support the tax increases on cigarettes. if
i;m going to be a DUMBASS and smoke 2 packs a day as i DO so don't even
THINK about saying "oh, you don't smoke, we were tricked into smoking
becasue we thought the MARLBORO MAN was some kind of IDEAL to LIVE UP TO
when we were in SECOND GRADE" becasue i just don;t BUY IT and even if it
was TRUE who fucking cares? like i need more INCOME tax taken out of my
check ALREADY at least let me CHOOSE to be a DUMBASS
1: by buying CIGARETTES _AND_ by giving up on the special lights and just
SUCKING the tar in
and
2: let me CHOOSE to pay taxes so that some dumb ass ATTENTION STARVED
WANNABE COOL GUY can bully the secret SERVICE into letting him hear how the
PRESIDENT masturbates when he's watching COKIE ROBERTS.
--
if the middle doesn't end soon,
it's gonna be a long week.