Subject: fwd) Human jokes

Date: 28 Dec 1998 07:58:59 GMT

From: fun@thingy.apana.org.au (David Gerard)

Organization: Please try to understand before one of us dies.

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1

 

 

Subject: Human jokes

From: RM Mentock <mentock@mindspring.com>

Newsgroups: alt.fan.cecil-adams

 

jfw@radix.ignorethis.net wrote:

> : Hey, the Polish tell Polish jokes, Irish tell Irish jokes, blondes

> : tell blonde jokes, and Catholics tell Catholic jokes. Geophysicists

> : tell geophysics jokes, mathematicians tell mathematician jokes,

> : rednecks tell redneck jokes, men tell men jokes.

>

> Speak of mathematician jokes...

 

And, here are some human jokes:

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a human with a skunk?

A: A skunk that smells so bad it has to use a deodorant!

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a human with a 500 pound gorilla?

A: Someone who pollutes anywhere they want to!

 

Q: What is it when one human calls another human an animal?

A: Flattery.

 

Q: Why did humans invent writing?

A: So they could remember what their instincts are.

 

Q: How many humans does it take to make a civilization?

A: At least six billion, 'cause we're not there yet.

 

Q: How do you know when a human has been in your wilderness?

A: It's gone.

 

Q: How do you know when a human is through exploiting you?

A: It's heart isn't beating.

 

Q: What will happen when humans discover that they're not the only

intelligent beings?

A: They'll try to fix that.

 

Q: Humans are easily satisfied, it only takes two things. What are

they?

A: Being rich, or dead.

 

Q: Why does a human talk?

 

 

A: So it doesn't have to think.

 

Subject: Re: (fwd) Human jokes

Date: Mon, 28 Dec 1998 18:11:18 -0800

From: p-lil@ZubJenius.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

Organization: SexzillaNet

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1 , 2

 

 

In article <767do3$41u$1@youknow.apana.org.au>, fun@thingy.apana.org.au

(David Gerard) wrote:

 

>Q: Why did humans invent writing?

>A: So they could remember what their instincts are.

 

There's more wisdom in this one joke than you'll ever find in the entire Bible.

 

Not that that's saying much, but it SOUNDS GOOD.

 

 

The Prophet Lilith

 

 

 

Subject: Re: (fwd) Human jokes

Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1998 08:30:00 GM

From: UnitIV@SPUTUM.com

Reply-To: unit4@sputum.com

Organization: Cabal Network Security

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1 , 2

 

On 28 Dec 1998 07:58:59 GMT, fun@thingy.apana.org.au (David Gerard) wrote, in

alt.slack:

 

^

^And, here are some human jokes:

 

Good stuff there.

 

Q. How many humans does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

A. We're not sure, so let's get rid of them one by one and wait to see when

the lightbulb changing stops.

 

 

Q. What's the difference between a human and a garbage dump?

 

A. A garbage dump is a space of waste.....

 

 

Q. Why are there laws against killing humans?

 

A. Only humans make laws.

 

 

Q. Why is it called the human "race"?

 

A. It's a race to see if they kill themselves off before they kill everything

else.

 

 

Q. What's the best proof that humans are too stupid to be allowed to exist?

 

A. They put themselves atop the food chain and then poison the rest of it so

that everything below them can concentrate their own poisons into their food.

 

 

Q. Why do humans bother to wrap their trash up and have it hauled away?

 

A. So they can burn more polluting fuels in the process of throwing their crap

all over the planet.

 

 

Q. What's the best thing that humans do for the planet?

 

A. Die

 

 

Q. What scientific theory is disproved by humans?

 

A. Evolution: Darwin was wrong.

 

 

Q. What's the best way to kill a human?

 

A. Any way at all as long as it gets all of them.

 

 

Q. A herd of cows, a gaggle of geese, a school of fish, a _________ of humans.

 

A. Pollution.

 

--

(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist

ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA

Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius

 

 

Subject: Re: (fwd) Human jokes

Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1998 06:29:40 -0400

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

Organization: PARTS

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3

 

 

In article <3693e484.71995333@news.sputum.com>, unit4@sputum.com wrote:

 

>On 28 Dec 1998 07:58:59 GMT, fun@thingy.apana.org.au (David Gerard) wrote, in

>alt.slack:

 

>

>Q. Why are there laws against killing humans?

>

>A. Only humans make laws.

 

What is the Law? Not to be Men, that is the Law! Are we not Things?

 

--

"All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of

night-gaunts."

- The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft

 

 

 

Subject: Re: (fwd) Human jokes

Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1998 15:09:20 -0800

From: p-lil@ZubJenius.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

Organization: SexzillaNet

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3

 

 

In article <3693e484.71995333@news.sputum.com>, unit4@sputum.com wrote:

 

>On 28 Dec 1998 07:58:59 GMT, fun@thingy.apana.org.au (David Gerard) wrote, in

>alt.slack:

>

>^

>^And, here are some human jokes:

>

>Good stuff there.

 

Good stuff yourself, O you black-humored THANG you.

 

Two humans walked into a bar--well, no, actually they were beaten to death

with it, but who's quibbling? Results are results.

 

 

The Prophet Lilith

 

--

Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://come.to/p.lil

Hey Seattle SubGenii! Go to http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com

==If reality doesn't make you LAUGH, then TAKE THE GODDAMN CLOWN NOSE OFF!==