Subject: A New Dupe...err, Convert!

Date: 3 May 1999 04:08:46 GMT

From: (Modemac)

Organization: First Online Church of "Bob"

Newsgroups: alt.slack


This message comes from the Better Sex For Mutants message board. Because

people posting to Web message boards may not want their email addresses

put on Usenet (blasted spammers), the email address of the author has been

deleted. You can still send a reply to the author on the Web board,



Re: The Boston Devival is TONIGHT!

02-May-99 11:45:59

For those of you not in attendance at the Boston Devival, I

feel I must relate the experiences. It seems that after the

Middle east caved to pressure from a city council member, and friday

heroically called up the ACLU who obtained a back-up

at a Baptist church, the conspiracy then put pressure on the

operators of that beautiful chuch in the form of unspecified threats.

The devival continued, UNPAID!!!, by several of the

preachers who arrived from all over the country. It would have been a

very reminicient sixties, sit-in type thing, if I were old enough to

remember the sixties. A truely slackful event.

This brought into me a truely wonderful crisis of slack. For a

long time now I have considered myself a subgenius, but was still

pink in the eyes of "Bob". I could just never bring my tight-assed

ways to parting with that 30 bucks. But this event

made me realize something. The subgenius are not about money. Well,

ok, they ARE about money. But they, or rather we, are more

than that. The thirty bucks is not money, but a metaphor. It is

about doing something manifestly idiodic, in order to confirm our

belief in something that our rational mind tells us must be

bullshit. It is about that little piece of your conciousness that you

never admit to, which causes you to try to use telekinesis when nobody

is looking. It is about buying into a

load of crap because it helps keep us sane, and deciding that

if we are going to buy into a load of crap then we might as well

buy into the best load of crap out there. And it is about parting with

a little of that which we too often place more value

in than we know it is worth, in order to confirm to ourselves that we

are not normal, rational people, who we despise and would

never send in $30 dollars to a group whose stated goal is to wipe out

most of humanity.

So, monday morning, I am going to place my thirty dollars in an

envelope and mail it to that sacred PO box. Just knowing that makes me

feel full of slack, like "Bob" just sucked

in a load of that smokey 'frop and blew it right up my ass. Friends,

let me tell you something, that smoke being blown up my ass feels


And let me tell you something else. That rational part of my mind

isn't bothered much anymore about that 30 bucks, maybe an effect of

'frop smoke on tight asses. I put in my 20 bucks for me and a friend

in that hat for friday, who I am sure is still out quite a bit of

change, and I bought some quality crap from Stang, but neither is

being adequetly compensated for their work in bringing slack to the

world. I don't have much, and so have never given much to charity

excepting the occational person on the street. But I belive the slack

outreach programs are certainly worth putting in a little bit of the

money I have. Seeing the people of the church doing this kind of

thing, knowing they are giving a whole lot more than they are getting.

So this

is to all of you who, like me, are still pink in the eyes of "Bob".

Send the 30 bucks. It truely is the only path I have found for

complete salvation.



First Online Church of "Bob"