Subject: A New Dupe...err, Convert!
Date: 3 May 1999 04:08:46 GMT
From: email@example.com (Modemac)
Organization: First Online Church of "Bob"
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Re: The Boston Devival is TONIGHT!
For those of you not in attendance at the Boston Devival, I
feel I must relate the experiences. It seems that after the
Middle east caved to pressure from a city council member, and friday
heroically called up the ACLU who obtained a back-up
at a Baptist church, the conspiracy then put pressure on the
operators of that beautiful chuch in the form of unspecified threats.
The devival continued, UNPAID!!!, by several of the
preachers who arrived from all over the country. It would have been a
very reminicient sixties, sit-in type thing, if I were old enough to
remember the sixties. A truely slackful event.
This brought into me a truely wonderful crisis of slack. For a
long time now I have considered myself a subgenius, but was still
pink in the eyes of "Bob". I could just never bring my tight-assed
ways to parting with that 30 bucks. But this event
made me realize something. The subgenius are not about money. Well,
ok, they ARE about money. But they, or rather we, are more
than that. The thirty bucks is not money, but a metaphor. It is
about doing something manifestly idiodic, in order to confirm our
belief in something that our rational mind tells us must be
bullshit. It is about that little piece of your conciousness that you
never admit to, which causes you to try to use telekinesis when nobody
is looking. It is about buying into a
load of crap because it helps keep us sane, and deciding that
if we are going to buy into a load of crap then we might as well
buy into the best load of crap out there. And it is about parting with
a little of that which we too often place more value
in than we know it is worth, in order to confirm to ourselves that we
are not normal, rational people, who we despise and would
never send in $30 dollars to a group whose stated goal is to wipe out
most of humanity.
So, monday morning, I am going to place my thirty dollars in an
envelope and mail it to that sacred PO box. Just knowing that makes me
feel full of slack, like "Bob" just sucked
in a load of that smokey 'frop and blew it right up my ass. Friends,
let me tell you something, that smoke being blown up my ass feels
And let me tell you something else. That rational part of my mind
isn't bothered much anymore about that 30 bucks, maybe an effect of
'frop smoke on tight asses. I put in my 20 bucks for me and a friend
in that hat for friday, who I am sure is still out quite a bit of
change, and I bought some quality crap from Stang, but neither is
being adequetly compensated for their work in bringing slack to the
world. I don't have much, and so have never given much to charity
excepting the occational person on the street. But I belive the slack
outreach programs are certainly worth putting in a little bit of the
money I have. Seeing the people of the church doing this kind of
thing, knowing they are giving a whole lot more than they are getting.
is to all of you who, like me, are still pink in the eyes of "Bob".
Send the 30 bucks. It truely is the only path I have found for
First Online Church of "Bob"