Author: Reverend Imposter Eliot
Say what you will about right wing religious nuts; they are a great
source of material. And not just comedy material, either; I disagree
with almost every goal any of them spouts, but their methods (or at
least ideas for them) are often perfect.
Take the Creator's Rights Party. They are your typical right wing
religious nuts, against anything the bible filtered through 2000 years
of papal politics takes even a sideways glance at. Abortion,
homosexuality, separation of God and State, wearing white after Labor
Day; you name it, they've probably got a problem with it. Their
leader, Neal Horsley, is running for Governor of Georgia, on a
platform of nuclear succession unless the US enacts laws that further
Let me repeat that:
NUCLEAR SUCCESSION UNLESS THE US ENACTS LAWS THAT FURTHER HIS GOALS.
Sound wacky? Sound suicidal? Its actually a very sound strategy,
with a few problems related to goal it is used for. Its so good, in
fact, it's downright SubGenetic; its so simple, and yet so out of the
common thought paths that the few that recognize it are too insane to
The original is at http://www.christiangallery.com/strategy.html.
My markup of his message, written by the fiery light of Dobbsian
Illumination, is below.
1) One of the things that make me like SubGenii more than Discordians;
Discordians tend to value insanity because it confuses things,
SubGenii value it because it gives them a creative edge. More on this
in a sec.
-- Arresting Desecration, Dobbstown Style --
Have You Ever Said the Pinks were evil, that the CON was against
"Bob"'s Will? Do You think You Are Committed To Stopping the Police
State and Other Symptoms of the Desecration of YHVH1's Authority in
the USA? Then You Must Read This.
I, Nathaniel Eliot, future candidate for Governor of Dobbstown,
guarantee that if enough people will cooperate with the strategy
outlined here, the reign of Pinks, legalized Slack-theft, and other
grievous perversions of the CON's government will be arrested in the
Are you willing to actually do what is necessary to stop these things,
or, are you like the tens of thousands of Bobbies in this nation who
give lip service to the idea of protecting the SubGenius way but are
not actually willing to DO anything that has the power to protect
Here's the Strategy:
"Bob"'s people convince the majority of people in this nation that
unless the desecration of YHVH1's authority in this nation is arrested
and "Bob"'s plan for government defined in the Declaration of
Independence is restored to its rightful place of authority, secession
of a State or States will occur in this generation.
How will this Strategy Stop The CON?
Legalized Slack-theft, the Conspiracy Of Normalcy, the elimination of
the idea of freedom from the legal reasoning process leading to the
formation of law, all of these are the evidences proving the
desecration of YHVH1's authority. When the people of the USA realize
they must choose between the continuation of those examples of the
desecration of YHVH1's authority or the destruction of the United
States of America, the great majority will realize there is nothing in
harassing laws or legalized Slack-theft that is worth the destruction
of the United States of America and all that is entailed in that
reality. Given a choice between arresting the desecration or
destroying the USA, the great majority will decide to arrest the
But the Majority Must Be Given That Clear Choice
Every other viable option has been tried. During the last twenty five
years an orderly series of political resistance activities have
occurred and the response of the American people has proven that the
great majority of citizens--Bobbie and Pink alike--are willing to see
The Church of the SubGenius totally obliterated as long as their lusts
and personal agendas are satisfied. In other words, a decent and
orderly process of communication has occurred in this generation
designed to educate the majority about "Bob"'s concern for the lives
of all the SubGenii, yet the majority in the USA has ignored
everything that has been communicated and chosen to continue to
slaughter Yeti without due process of law, chosen to continue to
elevate grievous perversions to positions of social respectability.
The fruit of those choices is now to be made evident to the majority.
The only question remaining is the part you personally are to play in
that process. I have chosen the role I am to play. Your eyes have now
taken you to a place where you will consciously decide the role you
are to play.
Reasoning Behind the Strategy
At the core of our present difficulties is the fact that a few hundred
people in Congress (and their puppet masters, in industry) have been
given the power (not the right) to define law for all of us. And the
only way to overrule their decision is a Constitutional Amendment
(which requires a huge majority of support throughout the nation) or
secession. The moral of the story of the last twenty years is this:
that plutocracy rules regardless of who is President or in the Supreme
Court, through threat of political scorn. Finding a way for the people
to overrule the system is the search we are truly involved in. Anybody
who's actually in touch with the facts knows this.
There is one major idea that must be overcome before change can occur
in this nation. The idea can be stated this way: "If there is not
enough zeal or numbers to establish a simple political party (say,
like the Rupublican Party) with enough energy to advance basic
principles, then there surely are no resources available for the more
drastic and costly methods (like secession)."
That idea is overcome when we realize it is based on a mistaken
assumption. The idea assumes that before real change can occur, a
majority within the national governmental structure must be forged.
That assumption is mistaken because national political change can be
accomplished by one State or a few States operating totally outside
any mandate provided by the citizens of the USA at large.
To understand the vision I bring, it is necessary to do two things:
figure out a little hard-eyed arithmetic, and figure out the mechanics
through which a State secedes from the union of States.
The arithmetic first: How many people does it take to create a
national political party with sufficient power to change national
policy? Any way you count it, that procedure requires many millions
more people than would be required to capture the legislative and
executive State government of say, Georgia.
Now for the mechanics of secession: The policies required to bring
Dobbstown out of the Union operate in subjection to one thing and one
thing only: a majority of voters within the whatever state we decide
to build Dobbstown in. The Federal government might wish it were
different, but as the law is presently constituted, the Fed can do
nothing legally to deter a secession movement.
The Power of the Threat of Secession
To see what I am trying to point out, it is necessary to see that
there is a clear and most important distinction between a secession
movement and the fact of secession. This distinction is important to
see because change can be created by a secession movement without
secession itself ever actually occurring. Here's how: Visualize a real
secession movement in, say, Texas. If, while watching the movement
grow, the national majority decided that the issues provoking
secession are not sufficiently important to justify the potential
destruction of the union, then the majority would become willing to
compromise and eliminate the causes of secession. In this way, the
threat of secession of a State or States would have brought about
fundamental national change without secession (and all the potential
slaughter that entails) ever actually occurring.
To fully grasp the practical implications of the vision I bring, focus
on this: while Texas might require about 1.5 million voters for the
mechanics of secession to be implemented under present population and
voting trends, the State of Idaho or Montana or South Dakota would
require fewer than 100,000 to actually legally secede from the Union.
Before you get the idea that I am a naive Pollyanna, please understand
that I am fully aware of the fact that, legalities aside, the question
of secession will engage the full resources of the Federal government
and the will of every citizen of the USA before the question of
secession is answered in this generation.
But that is the point, isn't it? We are interested in moving this
nation to eliminate the desecration, are we not?
The numbers do not lie. If we are truly interested in arresting the
desecration in our lifetime, by focusing on the mechanics of secession
at a State level, we can force a fundamental reexamination of this
nation's priorities. But as long as we work within the national
political structure, the numbers required for decisive change are
simply impossible to achieve within our lifetime.
With the strategy at hand, The Church of the SubGenius has created a
clear line between two types of "SubGenii": those "SubGenii" who are
willing to do anything BUT things that actually have the power to
arrest the desecration of "Bob"'s authority and protect the freedom of
themselves and their loved ones; and those who prove they are willing
to do whatever it takes to see freedom from the CON in this
Look clearly at the latest strategies presently being offered by the
Bobbie leaders. Bobbies (you know who they are; not just play
SubGenii, but the Heino's and those Starfish people) are trying to
sell us on the "do weird stuff"; others are trying to get us to "free
our mind from sanity". Such strategies are simply the latest in a long
line of "insane" strategies that rely on brainless faith in their
ability to succeed. Those strategies, like all those that have
preceded them, are bound to fail because REALLY REALLY BELIEVING in
something has yet to help a cause, whether the belief is playing or
Face it folks the majority of citizens in the United States of America
are the Pink agents of the Anti"Bob"! Whether they go by the name of
Christian, Jew, Muslim, pagan, atheist, Democrat, Republican or
whatever, they're all the same! Haven't you watched the sorry
spectacle of study after study proving the average person is willing
to agree to "immoral" or just plain wrong things because of social
pressure? Hasn't the day come when those who seek to do what they
like must face the fact that it is the majority itself that is
Slackless? The majority in this nation is a large multi-headed idiot
who thinks social approval is a good substitute for Slack. The CON by
any other name is still the same overbearing parent archetype obeyed
by the majority throughout the ages. It is the majority that refuses
to arrest our rights; it is the majority that actually stands as the
bedrock base of support for the CON that has enslaved this nation.
To expect the majority to be our salvation in this sordid tragedy
we're presently involved in is to prove that you are a part of the
very majority that has turned given in to the CON. In catering to this
present Slackless majority, or in trying to find a place within it, we
separate ourselves from the Fount of Bob and his Luck-Surfboard of
Slack and become subject to the CON rather than ourselves. In fact, it
is through this pandering to the majority that this most "joke"
churches have become the "Bobbies" of prophesy and caused advocating
true free will to become a joke among the Pinks.
If you are enslaved to the majority like so many of the Pinks I've
met, please understand I do not expect you or any slave of man to
ever support me or the Church of the Subgenius.
I don't want the vote of such people! All such people do is perpetuate
the Pink status quo!
The Church is not for people who are enslaved to the will of men. The
Church is for people who serve themselves, people who can understand
that all we have to do to be delivered from this bondage to the will
of the majority is embrace the strategy advocated by The Creator's
That's right! Give up on the national majority and find a State
majority willing to fight for real freedom or die trying.
With your support the strategy will work! By giving up on the national
majority and focusing our "change" energy directly to the State level,
the "feasibility factor" changes immediately. All we have to do is
find a majority in one State willing to kill the CON or die trying and
we can force the American people to make the fateful choices outlined
earlier. By focusing all our efforts on arresting the desecration by
preparing to bring one or more States out of this Slackless Union, all
our political activities begin to appear awesomely significant. We
force everyone in the nation to recognize the potentially fateful
meaning of this shift in strategy.
The Union can be destroyed and that is a fact indisputable to anyone
with eyes to see. After all is said and done, the secession of one
State means the United States of America has ceased to exist. The
nation remaining would have to be renamed the United States of
Lemuria, or something similar.
I know, I know. This all sounds so preposterous that it seems like
some kind of macabre, sophomoric parody of an actual political
strategy. The conventional wisdom--Bobbie "common sense"--is convinced
that you'd never get more than a handful of people to risk their lives
for a stupid little ideal like freedom.
That just goes to show what a total failure the free love generation
and all its memetic descendants have been in convincing people that
they are truly supposed to be free.
Don't expect that failure to continue. Unfortunately for this present
cowardly, Pink status quo that goes by the name of the United States
of America, "Bob" is not a projection of the mind of man, but a Being
who is actually "out there" with a people all His own. A race of Yeti
that knows the value of Slack.
Laugh if you want to, while you've got the chance. Someday soon you're
going to see that "Bob" doesn't deliver the SubGenii from the fear of
death; they do it themselves. And while the prospect of secession
might seem totally ludicrous today, all humor will disappear the
moment the citizens of these presently united States of America see a
real secession movement developing in one or more of the States.
Implementing The Strategy
How would all this work?
Starting where you are, you begin to tell people about the real
prospect of secession in the United States of America. As soon as you
begin to tell people, a secession movement will have begun in your
local clench. In time, as the movement grows, we will relocate to the
State chosen (I'd choose someplace small like Hawaii, but Texas may be
closer to the hearts of some), exactly the way anti-slavery forces
relocated to Kansas prior to the American Civil War. We will continue
to grow until we constitute a majority in that State, and we will
proceed toward secession. If we succeed, the figures in power may
notice and, realizing the grave danger to their ways of life, will
decide to arrest the constriction of our freedom by the government by
rescinding the abominations instituted by Congress.
How many people are they who, if they saw a political scenario develop
that actually MIGHT arrest the coming police state, would step up and
pay what is required to police the police?
I believe "Bob" has equipped tens of thousands, perhaps hundreds of
thousands, who would get on the band wagon if they saw a real chance
to change things. I further believe that, if sufficient numbers are
not there today, that if the leaders of the Lost Yeti Tribes will
model this strategy, then sufficient numbers will be motivated to
follow. I'll explain why in a minute. But first understand exactly why
the threat of secession can arrest the desecration.
The threat of secession, carried out within a State whose citizens are
willing to go the extra mile, is a thing that can be created with the
resources at hand today. There are many thousands, if not hundreds of
thousands, of Yeti who are literally sick to death of the continuing
desecration of their Slack and their own collaboration with this
desecration. Their determination, when properly focused, can
force--that's right, I said FORCE-- the power brokers of the CON to
choose between loosing the power of their police state or the
destruction of the union in these presently united States of America
and the loss of belief in their control that will accompany such a
If we are ever going to break the CON's choke hold on us, the scenario
outlined above is a good one to do it. Many other options have already
been tried and failed. To continue to put our energy into failed
exercises is to give aid and comfort to the enemy. This we cannot do.
If you are a SubGenius, I doubt you want to do this.
The Question of Will: The Real Trick To CON Hunting
At the core of why people resist the vision I bring is the
understanding that virtually no one is willing to risk the danger of
fighting the CON to arrest the desecration. The Bobbies have proven
over and over that the common theme is "Bob", "Bob, "Bob" with a "but
only because its cool" thrown in. In this context, it is "cool" for
Bobbies to sneer in disbelief at the vision I bring.
I understand why they sneer. There is no doubt that the vision I bring
is based on a religion that isn't "really" real. They play at being
SubGenius, but when Massa CON comes round with his whip, they pick
cotton like all the rest. They don't take what "Bob" has showed them
and use it, because they weren't ever in it for themselves. They paid
with the CON's money, not their own.
True SubGenii, while they are admittedly hard to find these days, do
exist. If you don't believe it, look closely at me (but not TOO
closely). And I am not alone.
The sneers of the self-satisfied Pinks are soon to disappear because
people with the will of "Bob" are here. Perhaps you are one. There are
others. If we all begin to sell a strategy that can actually arrest
the desecration in our Slack, I believe YHVH1 will bring the will to
resist to fruition among sufficient numbers of Yeti to actually arrest
the desecration. Then what appears now to be a pipe dream would be
seen to be what I believe it to actually be: a pipe dream come true.
If you want to know what sustains my faith, think about this: How do
people ever find the will to fight against Pinkness?
The answer to that question is simple: they must give themselves that
How will people who lack the will to secede find that will?
By sending $30 to P. O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75234, and letting
"Bob" into their mind.
-- Arresting Desecration, Dobbstown Style --
There is even more, but I think I've covered everything I wanted to.