Author: Reverend Imposter Eliot



Forums: alt.slack



Say what you will about right wing religious nuts; they are a great

source of material. And not just comedy material, either; I disagree

with almost every goal any of them spouts, but their methods (or at

least ideas for them) are often perfect.


Take the Creator's Rights Party. They are your typical right wing

religious nuts, against anything the bible filtered through 2000 years

of papal politics takes even a sideways glance at. Abortion,

homosexuality, separation of God and State, wearing white after Labor

Day; you name it, they've probably got a problem with it. Their

leader, Neal Horsley, is running for Governor of Georgia, on a

platform of nuclear succession unless the US enacts laws that further

his goals.


Let me repeat that:



Sound wacky? Sound suicidal? Its actually a very sound strategy,

with a few problems related to goal it is used for. Its so good, in

fact, it's downright SubGenetic; its so simple, and yet so out of the

common thought paths that the few that recognize it are too insane to

use it[1].


The original is at


My markup of his message, written by the fiery light of Dobbsian

Illumination, is below.



1) One of the things that make me like SubGenii more than Discordians;

Discordians tend to value insanity because it confuses things,

SubGenii value it because it gives them a creative edge. More on this

in a sec.


-- Arresting Desecration, Dobbstown Style --


Have You Ever Said the Pinks were evil, that the CON was against

"Bob"'s Will? Do You think You Are Committed To Stopping the Police

State and Other Symptoms of the Desecration of YHVH1's Authority in

the USA? Then You Must Read This.


I, Nathaniel Eliot, future candidate for Governor of Dobbstown,

guarantee that if enough people will cooperate with the strategy

outlined here, the reign of Pinks, legalized Slack-theft, and other

grievous perversions of the CON's government will be arrested in the



Are you willing to actually do what is necessary to stop these things,

or, are you like the tens of thousands of Bobbies in this nation who

give lip service to the idea of protecting the SubGenius way but are

not actually willing to DO anything that has the power to protect



Here's the Strategy:

"Bob"'s people convince the majority of people in this nation that

unless the desecration of YHVH1's authority in this nation is arrested

and "Bob"'s plan for government defined in the Declaration of

Independence is restored to its rightful place of authority, secession

of a State or States will occur in this generation.


How will this Strategy Stop The CON?


Legalized Slack-theft, the Conspiracy Of Normalcy, the elimination of

the idea of freedom from the legal reasoning process leading to the

formation of law, all of these are the evidences proving the

desecration of YHVH1's authority. When the people of the USA realize

they must choose between the continuation of those examples of the

desecration of YHVH1's authority or the destruction of the United

States of America, the great majority will realize there is nothing in

harassing laws or legalized Slack-theft that is worth the destruction

of the United States of America and all that is entailed in that

reality. Given a choice between arresting the desecration or

destroying the USA, the great majority will decide to arrest the



But the Majority Must Be Given That Clear Choice

Every other viable option has been tried. During the last twenty five

years an orderly series of political resistance activities have

occurred and the response of the American people has proven that the

great majority of citizens--Bobbie and Pink alike--are willing to see

The Church of the SubGenius totally obliterated as long as their lusts

and personal agendas are satisfied. In other words, a decent and

orderly process of communication has occurred in this generation

designed to educate the majority about "Bob"'s concern for the lives

of all the SubGenii, yet the majority in the USA has ignored

everything that has been communicated and chosen to continue to

slaughter Yeti without due process of law, chosen to continue to

elevate grievous perversions to positions of social respectability.

The fruit of those choices is now to be made evident to the majority.


The only question remaining is the part you personally are to play in

that process. I have chosen the role I am to play. Your eyes have now

taken you to a place where you will consciously decide the role you

are to play.


Reasoning Behind the Strategy

At the core of our present difficulties is the fact that a few hundred

people in Congress (and their puppet masters, in industry) have been

given the power (not the right) to define law for all of us. And the

only way to overrule their decision is a Constitutional Amendment

(which requires a huge majority of support throughout the nation) or

secession. The moral of the story of the last twenty years is this:

that plutocracy rules regardless of who is President or in the Supreme

Court, through threat of political scorn. Finding a way for the people

to overrule the system is the search we are truly involved in. Anybody

who's actually in touch with the facts knows this.


There is one major idea that must be overcome before change can occur

in this nation. The idea can be stated this way: "If there is not

enough zeal or numbers to establish a simple political party (say,

like the Rupublican Party) with enough energy to advance basic

principles, then there surely are no resources available for the more

drastic and costly methods (like secession)."


That idea is overcome when we realize it is based on a mistaken

assumption. The idea assumes that before real change can occur, a

majority within the national governmental structure must be forged.

That assumption is mistaken because national political change can be

accomplished by one State or a few States operating totally outside

any mandate provided by the citizens of the USA at large.


To understand the vision I bring, it is necessary to do two things:

figure out a little hard-eyed arithmetic, and figure out the mechanics

through which a State secedes from the union of States.


The arithmetic first: How many people does it take to create a

national political party with sufficient power to change national

policy? Any way you count it, that procedure requires many millions

more people than would be required to capture the legislative and

executive State government of say, Georgia.


Now for the mechanics of secession: The policies required to bring

Dobbstown out of the Union operate in subjection to one thing and one

thing only: a majority of voters within the whatever state we decide

to build Dobbstown in. The Federal government might wish it were

different, but as the law is presently constituted, the Fed can do

nothing legally to deter a secession movement.


The Power of the Threat of Secession

To see what I am trying to point out, it is necessary to see that

there is a clear and most important distinction between a secession

movement and the fact of secession. This distinction is important to

see because change can be created by a secession movement without

secession itself ever actually occurring. Here's how: Visualize a real

secession movement in, say, Texas. If, while watching the movement

grow, the national majority decided that the issues provoking

secession are not sufficiently important to justify the potential

destruction of the union, then the majority would become willing to

compromise and eliminate the causes of secession. In this way, the

threat of secession of a State or States would have brought about

fundamental national change without secession (and all the potential

slaughter that entails) ever actually occurring.


To fully grasp the practical implications of the vision I bring, focus

on this: while Texas might require about 1.5 million voters for the

mechanics of secession to be implemented under present population and

voting trends, the State of Idaho or Montana or South Dakota would

require fewer than 100,000 to actually legally secede from the Union.


Before you get the idea that I am a naive Pollyanna, please understand

that I am fully aware of the fact that, legalities aside, the question

of secession will engage the full resources of the Federal government

and the will of every citizen of the USA before the question of

secession is answered in this generation.


But that is the point, isn't it? We are interested in moving this

nation to eliminate the desecration, are we not?


The numbers do not lie. If we are truly interested in arresting the

desecration in our lifetime, by focusing on the mechanics of secession

at a State level, we can force a fundamental reexamination of this

nation's priorities. But as long as we work within the national

political structure, the numbers required for decisive change are

simply impossible to achieve within our lifetime.


With the strategy at hand, The Church of the SubGenius has created a

clear line between two types of "SubGenii": those "SubGenii" who are

willing to do anything BUT things that actually have the power to

arrest the desecration of "Bob"'s authority and protect the freedom of

themselves and their loved ones; and those who prove they are willing

to do whatever it takes to see freedom from the CON in this



Look clearly at the latest strategies presently being offered by the

Bobbie leaders. Bobbies (you know who they are; not just play

SubGenii, but the Heino's and those Starfish people) are trying to

sell us on the "do weird stuff"; others are trying to get us to "free

our mind from sanity". Such strategies are simply the latest in a long

line of "insane" strategies that rely on brainless faith in their

ability to succeed. Those strategies, like all those that have

preceded them, are bound to fail because REALLY REALLY BELIEVING in

something has yet to help a cause, whether the belief is playing or



Face it folks the majority of citizens in the United States of America

are the Pink agents of the Anti"Bob"! Whether they go by the name of

Christian, Jew, Muslim, pagan, atheist, Democrat, Republican or

whatever, they're all the same! Haven't you watched the sorry

spectacle of study after study proving the average person is willing

to agree to "immoral" or just plain wrong things because of social

pressure? Hasn't the day come when those who seek to do what they

like must face the fact that it is the majority itself that is

Slackless? The majority in this nation is a large multi-headed idiot

who thinks social approval is a good substitute for Slack. The CON by

any other name is still the same overbearing parent archetype obeyed

by the majority throughout the ages. It is the majority that refuses

to arrest our rights; it is the majority that actually stands as the

bedrock base of support for the CON that has enslaved this nation.


To expect the majority to be our salvation in this sordid tragedy

we're presently involved in is to prove that you are a part of the

very majority that has turned given in to the CON. In catering to this

present Slackless majority, or in trying to find a place within it, we

separate ourselves from the Fount of Bob and his Luck-Surfboard of

Slack and become subject to the CON rather than ourselves. In fact, it

is through this pandering to the majority that this most "joke"

churches have become the "Bobbies" of prophesy and caused advocating

true free will to become a joke among the Pinks.


If you are enslaved to the majority like so many of the Pinks I've

met, please understand I do not expect you or any slave of man to

ever support me or the Church of the Subgenius.


I don't want the vote of such people! All such people do is perpetuate

the Pink status quo!


The Church is not for people who are enslaved to the will of men. The

Church is for people who serve themselves, people who can understand

that all we have to do to be delivered from this bondage to the will

of the majority is embrace the strategy advocated by The Creator's

Rights Party.


That's right! Give up on the national majority and find a State

majority willing to fight for real freedom or die trying.


With your support the strategy will work! By giving up on the national

majority and focusing our "change" energy directly to the State level,

the "feasibility factor" changes immediately. All we have to do is

find a majority in one State willing to kill the CON or die trying and

we can force the American people to make the fateful choices outlined

earlier. By focusing all our efforts on arresting the desecration by

preparing to bring one or more States out of this Slackless Union, all

our political activities begin to appear awesomely significant. We

force everyone in the nation to recognize the potentially fateful

meaning of this shift in strategy.


The Union can be destroyed and that is a fact indisputable to anyone

with eyes to see. After all is said and done, the secession of one

State means the United States of America has ceased to exist. The

nation remaining would have to be renamed the United States of

Lemuria, or something similar.


I know, I know. This all sounds so preposterous that it seems like

some kind of macabre, sophomoric parody of an actual political

strategy. The conventional wisdom--Bobbie "common sense"--is convinced

that you'd never get more than a handful of people to risk their lives

for a stupid little ideal like freedom.


That just goes to show what a total failure the free love generation

and all its memetic descendants have been in convincing people that

they are truly supposed to be free.


Don't expect that failure to continue. Unfortunately for this present

cowardly, Pink status quo that goes by the name of the United States

of America, "Bob" is not a projection of the mind of man, but a Being

who is actually "out there" with a people all His own. A race of Yeti

that knows the value of Slack.


Laugh if you want to, while you've got the chance. Someday soon you're

going to see that "Bob" doesn't deliver the SubGenii from the fear of

death; they do it themselves. And while the prospect of secession

might seem totally ludicrous today, all humor will disappear the

moment the citizens of these presently united States of America see a

real secession movement developing in one or more of the States.


Implementing The Strategy

How would all this work?


Starting where you are, you begin to tell people about the real

prospect of secession in the United States of America. As soon as you

begin to tell people, a secession movement will have begun in your

local clench. In time, as the movement grows, we will relocate to the

State chosen (I'd choose someplace small like Hawaii, but Texas may be

closer to the hearts of some), exactly the way anti-slavery forces

relocated to Kansas prior to the American Civil War. We will continue

to grow until we constitute a majority in that State, and we will

proceed toward secession. If we succeed, the figures in power may

notice and, realizing the grave danger to their ways of life, will

decide to arrest the constriction of our freedom by the government by

rescinding the abominations instituted by Congress.


How many people are they who, if they saw a political scenario develop

that actually MIGHT arrest the coming police state, would step up and

pay what is required to police the police?


I believe "Bob" has equipped tens of thousands, perhaps hundreds of

thousands, who would get on the band wagon if they saw a real chance

to change things. I further believe that, if sufficient numbers are

not there today, that if the leaders of the Lost Yeti Tribes will

model this strategy, then sufficient numbers will be motivated to

follow. I'll explain why in a minute. But first understand exactly why

the threat of secession can arrest the desecration.


The threat of secession, carried out within a State whose citizens are

willing to go the extra mile, is a thing that can be created with the

resources at hand today. There are many thousands, if not hundreds of

thousands, of Yeti who are literally sick to death of the continuing

desecration of their Slack and their own collaboration with this

desecration. Their determination, when properly focused, can

force--that's right, I said FORCE-- the power brokers of the CON to

choose between loosing the power of their police state or the

destruction of the union in these presently united States of America

and the loss of belief in their control that will accompany such a



If we are ever going to break the CON's choke hold on us, the scenario

outlined above is a good one to do it. Many other options have already

been tried and failed. To continue to put our energy into failed

exercises is to give aid and comfort to the enemy. This we cannot do.

If you are a SubGenius, I doubt you want to do this.


The Question of Will: The Real Trick To CON Hunting

At the core of why people resist the vision I bring is the

understanding that virtually no one is willing to risk the danger of

fighting the CON to arrest the desecration. The Bobbies have proven

over and over that the common theme is "Bob", "Bob, "Bob" with a "but

only because its cool" thrown in. In this context, it is "cool" for

Bobbies to sneer in disbelief at the vision I bring.


I understand why they sneer. There is no doubt that the vision I bring

is based on a religion that isn't "really" real. They play at being

SubGenius, but when Massa CON comes round with his whip, they pick

cotton like all the rest. They don't take what "Bob" has showed them

and use it, because they weren't ever in it for themselves. They paid

with the CON's money, not their own.


True SubGenii, while they are admittedly hard to find these days, do

exist. If you don't believe it, look closely at me (but not TOO

closely). And I am not alone.


The sneers of the self-satisfied Pinks are soon to disappear because

people with the will of "Bob" are here. Perhaps you are one. There are

others. If we all begin to sell a strategy that can actually arrest

the desecration in our Slack, I believe YHVH1 will bring the will to

resist to fruition among sufficient numbers of Yeti to actually arrest

the desecration. Then what appears now to be a pipe dream would be

seen to be what I believe it to actually be: a pipe dream come true.


If you want to know what sustains my faith, think about this: How do

people ever find the will to fight against Pinkness?


The answer to that question is simple: they must give themselves that



How will people who lack the will to secede find that will?


By sending $30 to P. O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75234, and letting

"Bob" into their mind.


-- Arresting Desecration, Dobbstown Style --


There is even more, but I think I've covered everything I wanted to.