Subject: The Right To Squalor
Date: 20 Feb 1999 00:00:00 GMT
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (IrRev. Friday Jones)
I again see in my local newspaper a breathless account of police looking
for a suspect and instead encountering a "horror house" where children,
adults and the elderly live in feces-slathered obscurity and misery. In
other words, they're poor and messy.
Only a few weeks ago, a similiar story was told of a local family, and when
the welfare workers in charge of the "case" were questioned as to how
"they" could let this family live like they, they replied that the family
had deceived them. Living in a two-story home, they had cleverly kept the
top floor immaculate and said that they lived there, while actually living
in the pigsty on the first floor.
This makes you wonder why they didn't keep the first floor clean as well,
but no matter. The burgeoning cries of "Child welfare! Child welfare!"
leads me to envision the most horrible scourge of Pinkness imaginable: the
Picture them: a squad of Pinkly police with shotguns over one shoulder and
mops over the other, going from house to house to make sure that it's
"decent" for the "children." Cub Scout leadrs who are allowed to use
lethal force! If the poor person/people protest that they have no
children, udoubtedly they will check to make sure of the welfare of the
"elderly" or the "pets" or the "handicapped" or the left-handed, or the
colorblind, or whatever other group they choose.
I presume that in the beginning, these squads will sweep mainly the
ghettos, the desperately poor neighborhoods. But then will come the story
of the middle-class family who NEVER picked up their children's toys and
left a bag of garbage sitting on the back porch for almost a WEEK and the
squads will have to spread the range of their investigations.
Of course, these programs will be covered by dutiful video-camera-bearing
guardians of morals, who will selflessly expose the uncleanliness of
mankind while making smashing ratings.
And you - yes YOU there. How long his this cardboard box been sitting here
in the hallway? When was the last time you washed the cat? The underside
of this carpet is FILTHY! I'm sorry, we can't let you live here, you
clearly can't take care of yourself.
Here you go - your new home. It's a round porcelain cell, with no corners
to hurt yourself in. It has a little lid we can lift off so that we can
keep track of you.
And humanity will be confined in the toilet.
"All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of
- The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft