Subject: "Bob" vs. God No contest!
Date: 10 Jan 1999 23:32:59 -0600
From: wbarwell@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (William Barwell)
Organization: NeoSoft, Inc. +1 713 968 5800
Newsgroups: alt.atheism, alt.slack, alt.fan.jesus-christ, alt.bible, alt.religion.christian, alt.christnet
References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4
In article <email@example.com>,
Dore Williamson <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
>So where is your creation, one who is greater than God?
>Go ahead, take all the resources you need from the earth and speak into
J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. Founder and high Epopt of the Church of the SubGenius.
Mightier than god, mightier than all the omnipoetnt gods ever imagined,
mightier than all that the omnipotent gods together can imagine.
So greater than god is "Bob" that even those of us who know this to be
true cannot imagine it. Much less explain it to lessor men who
cannot even imagine that somebody would think something like this and
claim it as the truth it is, they being so lessor men that it should be
illegal for them to utter the word faith. For faith in "Bob" is so
penultimate that the language of angels is barely fit to express that
truth, the existance of such a faith.
So great is "bob" that although in the beginning was nothing, a void so
void there was not even a void, "Bob" reached through that void and
created creation so he could create Jehova-1, space alien, with eyes all
around, who created the Universe and then "bob" , being an instrument of
"Bob" who thus created himself and everything that could possibly exist,
including all possible modes of existance. Then on the second day, "Bob"
created his pipe.
For "Bob" is the universal field of possibilities of possiblities,
The underlying cause of all and yet is uncaused and does not exist
being a possibilty. That that is the possibility tha tis teh field of
possibilites of existance. Not even an omnipotent god can exist
without the possibility of existing which is "Bob".
And "Bob's" pipe is that which generates the possibility of time, matter,
space, energy and Slack, without which there would be darkness.
The Pipe generated the original vioid, pregnant with virtual smoke
particles of Frop that finally gave us the Universe as we know it, let
their be a light and there was and the Pipe was lit and it was good.
And while your god, your silly god was trying to keep the monkeyboy and
monkeygirl out of that damned tree of the knowledge of good and evil
and too damned stupid to put up a cheap electric fence, "Bob"
was inventing fun, Slack, rock 'n roll, and beer.
So where's your god now, monkeyboy?
SubGenius Pope Of Houston