Subject: Re: Prophesies

Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 05:39:07 GMT

From: (Rev. Ezekiel Impurity Wadd)

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1 , 2


On Wed, 13 Jan 1999 07:21:59 -0600,

(Ragin' Pope Angus) spake thusly:



>* TarlaStar hooks up with fellow immigrants and sheep ranchers The

>Thompson Twins, record a double CD set of anti-muzik and form The

>Dobbstown Quintets. David Geffen goes straight.


>* Saddam Hussein resigns and goes into hiding after 101st Airborne

>Division airdrops Tonya Harding into southern Iraq with lead pipe. Says,

>"She's going to get medievel on someone's ass."


Addendum: Hussein returns to power after Harding neutralized by that

lesbo chick from South Park.


>* Kathy Lee videotaped in hot girl-girl action with random flight

>attendents. Frank jumps from 14th floor apartment building in anguish.


>* Al Gore's speech center batteries run low during inaugurational

>speech. Duracell's stocks plummet, company goes bankrupt, largest mass

>suicide since Masada. Energizer Bunny under investigation.

"Bob" purchases Duracell, Energizer, Radio Shack: Forms new power-cell

company, 'SlackCell', which doesn't work unless you've paid $30 to PO

Box 140306, Dallas TX, 75214. If you did, free power forever. Utility

companies die off; vibrator manufacturer stock skyrockets. Men



* Attempts at Celebrity Outreach a la $cientology meet with limited

success: Stephen King writes new blockbuster hit entitled NHGH, makes

ten billion dollars, buys Church. Stang pockets money; Church

administration unchanged. King joins Holocaustals in response.


* Janor's parentage of the Anti-"Bob" confirmed; Janor's response

unprintable in a family Usenet post. "Bob" kills self, fails.


* New funds for Church drawn from McDonald's licsense: 'Bobbie

McNuggets' most popular food item after soylent green.


* Adult movie industry collapses due to pitiful number of Pinks

surviving to be 18 and still possessing anything resembling a sex

drive. Bought by Dobbs at bargain prices; SexHurt Video makes

billions. Wall Street Journal terms it 'Another damn Dobbs success'.


* Human feces declared FDA-approved food group.