Subject: Re: Prophesies
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 05:39:07 GMT
From: email@example.com (Rev. Ezekiel Impurity Wadd)
References: 1 , 2
On Wed, 13 Jan 1999 07:21:59 -0600, firstname.lastname@example.org
(Ragin' Pope Angus) spake thusly:
>* TarlaStar hooks up with fellow immigrants and sheep ranchers The
>Thompson Twins, record a double CD set of anti-muzik and form The
>Dobbstown Quintets. David Geffen goes straight.
>* Saddam Hussein resigns and goes into hiding after 101st Airborne
>Division airdrops Tonya Harding into southern Iraq with lead pipe. Says,
>"She's going to get medievel on someone's ass."
Addendum: Hussein returns to power after Harding neutralized by that
lesbo chick from South Park.
>* Kathy Lee videotaped in hot girl-girl action with random flight
>attendents. Frank jumps from 14th floor apartment building in anguish.
>* Al Gore's speech center batteries run low during inaugurational
>speech. Duracell's stocks plummet, company goes bankrupt, largest mass
>suicide since Masada. Energizer Bunny under investigation.
"Bob" purchases Duracell, Energizer, Radio Shack: Forms new power-cell
company, 'SlackCell', which doesn't work unless you've paid $30 to PO
Box 140306, Dallas TX, 75214. If you did, free power forever. Utility
companies die off; vibrator manufacturer stock skyrockets. Men
* Attempts at Celebrity Outreach a la $cientology meet with limited
success: Stephen King writes new blockbuster hit entitled NHGH, makes
ten billion dollars, buys Church. Stang pockets money; Church
administration unchanged. King joins Holocaustals in response.
* Janor's parentage of the Anti-"Bob" confirmed; Janor's response
unprintable in a family Usenet post. "Bob" kills self, fails.
* New funds for Church drawn from McDonald's licsense: 'Bobbie
McNuggets' most popular food item after soylent green.
* Adult movie industry collapses due to pitiful number of Pinks
surviving to be 18 and still possessing anything resembling a sex
drive. Bought by Dobbs at bargain prices; SexHurt Video makes
billions. Wall Street Journal terms it 'Another damn Dobbs success'.
* Human feces declared FDA-approved food group.