Subject: ICE COLD DEATH available NOW

Date: Sun, 14 Mar 1999 01:37:22 -0500

From: "Rev. Random the Other" <cmcjp02@americasm01.nt.com>

Organization: TOXIC COW - mooOOOOoo

Newsgroups: alt.slack

 

 

DEATH(tm) STALKS THE NET

 

Advanced Trace-and-Destroy toolset for Net-Kook Extraction:

 

 

***TSALA-NEE-GHEE***

 

Cherokee AI terror-warrior A.S.S. SUPRAbot virii package

 

 

 

Featuring:

 

Mobile detection-infection-correction schema

 

Memetic NETtracker ballcracker app

 

INFINITE DOSE injection with ASYMPTOTIC persecution generation

 

EXIGENT Antagonation Multiplier with NONPROPORTIONAL Response Curve

 

Cybernated INSTANT ESCALATION / ETERNAL PERSEVERANCE directive

 

Auto-Decalibration within 0.003 nanoseconds

 

SYNC REJECTION with ANY OUTSIDE SOURCE

 

Overload breaker BYPASS

 

Virtual tensiometer / proximity meter with Mortification TRIP sensor

 

Comprehensive Smoke assay probe with INSTANTANEOUS aesthetic analysis

 

Intrinsic logomachtic superiomizer

 

Fully amphimictic with ANY existing or emergent Operating System

 

 

 

"NO known survivors" - Malevolent Pstench magazine

"Violent. Malignant. Barbaric." - NetExterminatrix Redux magazine

"Never before has such ferocious,

sadistic cruelty been so affordable" - Demonic Software Review magazine

 

 

 

FREE Cryogenic cutlery with purchase