Subject: Re: WANTED: one goat
Date: 31 Dec 1995 00:00:00 GMT
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Mr Lurch)
Organization: MindSpring Enterprises, Inc.
Newsgroups: misc.wanted, alt.slack
References: 1 , 2 , 3
>>In article <1995Dec26.email@example.com> firstname.lastname@example.org (Matthew Carey)
>>>First off, THIS IS NOT A TROLL (no pun intended.)
>>>I need a goat. I can't pay for it. If anyone can provide me with a FREE
Some people around here give them away, but they can't go UPS. You'd have to
come to sticksville to get one.
>>>goat, please email me immediately. Also, I will need information on how
>>>to take care of it. Like what does it eat,
Spam, wax, newspapers. straw hats, underwear, sausage, shoes,
ragweed, ping-pong balls, oats, corndogs. goldfish, sneakers, plywood, hair,
beer cans, small turtles, grass, dog food, dead stuff, vomit, dukey, rocks,
cudzu, dirt and a whole bunch of other stuff....
>>>do I have to walk it etc.?
Well, you can just let it shit on the carpet. Sooner or later it will eat the
shit (and the carpet). While it would be best to try and housebreak it, I
don't know if this can be done. We never tried it with ours. We had
those longhaired white goats, and they smelled so awful we never considered
keeping them in the house. I'm not sure if they can be trained to crap in a
big litter box either. They'd probably eat the litter.
Our goats used to have a couple of amusing habits, however. In the
Spring, the males would get horny, and one of the things they would do to
(presumably) make themselves more attractive to the females was
lay on their backs and piss straight up in the air. Also, in the summer, they
would roll around in the embers of a trash fire then run around the yard
smoking up a storm. I don't have to tell you how the smouldering piss-filled
hair smelled. They did do it on purpose. Maybe they were trying to get rid
of bugs or something. I don't know. We tried putting them out with the hose
but they would just go back and do it again. It didn't seem to bother them.
They had tough hides.
>>>Also, I have heard that there is a breed of goat called the pygmy goat.
>>>If it's true to it's name, I would prefer one of those. Any other
>>>diminutive breed of goat is also acceptable.
There is. I don't know if they have all the aforementioned charming
behavior patterns. But if you are looking for a housepet, I'd have to say
you'd be better off with a pyg than a goat. Seriously, good luck in your
quest, but keep an eye peeled for a sale on Lysol.