Subject: Re: Well Then !! (iceknife)
Date: 21 Mar 1999 00:00:00 GMT
From: Ditworthy@webtv.net (Mellwood Ditworthy)
Organization: WebTV Subscriber
Visit our empire. VISIT OUR EMPIRE.
Good lord iceknife, the probability of someone asking you to visit a
public execution is more likely.
No one even asks you to come visit them "next door", let alone asking
you to visit England.
As for the Irish. When the English first found them, all they liked to
do was dig holes, and roll large rocks around.
They discovered the use of blasting powder from the Dutch. Since the
enclosed instructions were in Danish, the Irish spent at least 100 years
blowing THEMSELVES up. This is a well known fact of history. The
Irish did not become a significant threat until 1801 when they
realized, quite by accident, that with blasting powder, they could make
BIGGER holes, and roll LARGER rocks. It was only a matter of time till
they took the next logical step to blowing up cars, the invention of
which was still 120 years away.
As for England being an island. Wrong again !!
England's largest mass is actually only 1 foot under the water that
connects it to the European continent. On a good sunny day it is very
easy to actually walk to Europe if one is so inclined. How do you think
the French invaded England. IN BOATS ?? Don't make me laugh.
His Eminence, Bishop Blaze Femur wrote:
> > Mellwood Ditworthy wrote:
> > As for the Irish.
> The limey never fell out of his mammy's ass who can
> legitimately offer commentary on the Irish. And ask Lord
> Mountbatten's family how inept we are with the Semtex. And you're
> ugly. Or kill me.
Whereas the asshole that can talk has opinions on EVERYTHING and
ANYTHING. The fact that my grand-uncle Ismail was driven from
Jzerkistan by Batavian aggression gives me the FULL GOBSHITE RIGHTS,
even though I never met him and don't even know where the country is!
You know, in the Old Country, they have a number of charming rituals
and traditions. Guests are sacrosanct, unless they disparage your
wife's linen-cleaning abilities, in which case the only appropriate
response is to sneak into their room in the dead of night, slit their
throat with the Kchiis, the ritual courtship apple-peeling-knife,
and devour their LIVER with FAVA BEANS and a CHEAP ALBANIAN CABERNET
SAUVIGNON which contains SUBSTANTIAL TRACES of ANTIFREEZE! The whole
Jzerkistan-Batavian crisis arose simply because of the INSULT given
to the Jzerks when the partially-insane but well-loved Baron Gavagi
refused to partake of the necrotic, worm-ridden liver tissue of the
King's eldest nephew Fantomas, second-in-line to the throne, who had
complained about ROOM SERVICE when staying in a hunting lodge owned by
his elder brother Gyorgy in some isolated mountainous region surrounded
by barbed wire, machine-gun emplacements and a densely-packed minefield.