Subject: Re: My Secret

Date: 01 Dec 1996 00:00:00 GMT

From: lurch@mindspring.com (RevLurch)

Organization: MindSpring Enterprises, Inc.

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1

nenslo@teleport.com (NENSLO) wrote:

> Back when I used to hang around with people I was frequently

>mistaken for a "good listener." Someone told me once "You are really a

>good listener!" Well I'm not, really. A lot of the time I was thinking

>of something else, but I tried to act like I was listening, saying "Oh,

>really?" and things like that. Sometimes it was IMPOSSIBLE to even respond

>to them because they filled in all the in between spaces where they

>weren't actually talking with "and uh... and, and, and uh..." so

>eventually I just quit trying and simply nodded and went uh huh. The real

>secret to my appearing to be a good listener is this: Unlike most other

>people, I didn't interrupt them and start talking about myself.

> I would really like to have someone I could talk to and know they

>would just listen for a couple of minutes, not very long at all. Maybe

>take turns or something, they talk a couple of minutes while I listen,

>then I talk a couple of minutes while they listen. That would be so

>great.

I'm kinda the same way. I never hear dick, but people think I'm a good

listener because I'll shut up for a while. I have learned to sort of

key on the tone change in a person's voice that let's me know they are

about to finish up a thought or idea or spiel or whatever so I can

sort of snap out of the daydream I'm having and catch enough at the

very end to avoid saying "Well, that's great, man" after somebody has

just told me about his wife dying of cancer or something. Sometimes I

even catch enough to give seemingly intelligent advice. Anyway. It

does seem to make people feel better. And what's good for the goose is

good for the gander. So maybe we ought to get together and pretend to

listen to each other. Given all that we've done for others, it seems

only fair.

lurch

lurch