Subject:

Re: alt.slack sucks! post good stuff you kneejerks!

Date:

04 May 1996 00:00:00 GMT

From:

megeliz@radix.net (MegEliz)

Organization:

Gene Wolfe Library and Family Restaurant, East Wing

Newsgroups:

alt.slack

References:

1

 

 

 

 

Quoted the whole damn thing - shaddup Jack - 'cause I love it and

nobody should miss this.

 

pkitty@netcom.com (Pee Kitty) wrote:

 

: Man, this newsgroup just sucks! It's full of arguing and boring stuff,

: and not full of the stuff that I want it to be full of. I'm not enjoying

: it here right now because no one is writing anything that I like. And you

: know what I want you all to do about it? Not a damned thing, because I'm

: just gonna start writing the stuff that I want to see, and eliminate the

: middleman. (Okay, I see a few smiles, a lot of smirks, a few rolled eyes,

: and some genuine shock in the eyes of those who are completely taken

: aback by the idea of actually DOING something about a boring newsgroup

: than just sitting back and bitching about it...oh, and Dyna, for cripes

: sake put that thing AWAY! There are ladies present!)

:

: BTW, no one except me is going to like these quotes, so just skip over

: them right now, unless you're the kind of person who isn't tricked by

: reverse psychology, in which case read on.

:

: "Ohh, spank me, baby! Make my ass nice and Pink!" -Heather Lere (Amazing

: Tales V)

:

: "THROW BRICKS AT LAWYERS IF YOU CAN!!" -Milk (Milk & Cheese, Jury Duty)

:

: "Human germ!" -Shrapnel (Decepticon, in Transformers: The Movie)

:

: "...my grandmother died of cancer, so I guess if I saw a shirt that said

: Cancer Kills Grandmas Dead I'd be upset, you know?" -Skid Row Singer

:

: "...sometimes the genetic dice roll a critical failure." -Nigel Findly

: (GURPS Illuminati)

:

: "Bad Bunny! You just shit. You're a Bad Bunny! You just shit!" -Mega

: Smegma ("Bad Bunny", from Milking the Joke)

:

: "in my pants" -J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

:

: I dunno...I found something enlightening about all of these. So I share

: with you; maybe someone will get some enlightenment from it, whether from

: reading them, scoffing at my effort, printing it out and smoking it, etc.

: Sometimes the strangest things can enlighten you. Hell, I credit my

: entire system of belief (including the SubGenius school of (thought?)

: which I had formed before meeting the Church) to a gaming supplement

: about vampires. Does that make me misguided? Do you answer rhetorical

: questions? (Oh sure, go ahead, reply and say "no"...BE FUCKING WITTY WHY

: DONCHA?)

:

: Don't try too hard. Give a shit, but give it casually, freely,

: stresslessly. Stress eats Slack, it's been proven. Bad stress, not good

: stress. What's bad and what's good depends on you, but don't sit down (or

: stand up) and think about which is which, just let it come to you in due

: time. I don't mean be lazy (though there's nothing wrong with that), I

: just mean that somethings are worth rushing and racing for, and some

: aren't. Slack is out there, and it's in you, acting as a magnet for the

: outside stuff. If you feel it, it will come.

:

: "If you feel it, it will come." -Pee Kitty's dad, discussing masturbation

:

: Humor? Yeah, I buy into humor. Humor is powerful. If you can make someone

: laugh, the chances of them raping you drop to near zero. You can kill

: someone with a good joke if they're eating. Make a british royal guard

: laugh and you've gotten him fired, ruining his life. POWER. The funniest

: person sways the feelings of the group. A well-placed joke will vanish

: the point out of any conversation, as all attention focuses on the

: punchline. Stand-up comics are barely funny, and they get their own

: sitcoms; with REAL humor, it's only a few steps to world domination. If

: you can't change your reality, you can make fun of it. To belittle is to

: strip away power. When reality loses its power of you, you define

: reality. You are also insane, which just goes to show.

:

: Sex, sex, sex...must get sex into it. No, on second thought, I'd rather

: not. My sex life increased by a few thousand percent when I got access to

: alt.sex.stories again, and frankly, the whole subject depresses me. No

: one has asked me if I'd rather have a PinkAsShit, beautiful, fully

: functional SO, or a disfigured YetiMate with no genetalia. Because of

: this, I have not thought about that question, and if asked, I will not

: have an answer until I have thought about it.

:

: Enlightenment, Slack, Humor, and Sex. Is that all there is that's

: worthwhile in life? <shrug> I don't know, and don't feel like worrying

: about the answer. Like all good things, it will come to be if it's

: important. Not because I'm enlightened, but because I'm lazy. Full of

: Slack, Lazy as Shit, and on a rare occasion Funny Enough To Avoid Rape.

 

I thought about it for one minute and I agree. MEE TOOOO! I think.

: "Never mistake incomprehensibility for wisdom." -Anonymous

:

: "Destroy your idols. Kill your mentors." -Anonymous

:

: "Anything sounds profound if you put it in quotation marks and sign it

: Anonymous." -Anonymous

: --

:

: Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian

: Meow!

:

: * Are you abnormal? Then you are probably BETTER than most people! *

: * ETERNAL SALVATION OR TRIPLE YOUR MONEY BACK! For info send $1 to *

: * The Church of the SubGenius / P. O. Box 140306 / Dallas, TX 75214 *

: * -= Visit alt.slack =- *

: * FREE SUBGENIUS STUFF! FTP to ftp.netcom.com and cd /pub/pk/pkitty *

 

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My sig is not under construction. It's dead. megeliz@radix.net