Subject: Re: "Typical Males" (was -- Re:

Date: 26 Jan 1996 00:00:00 GMT

From: (Tom Revay)

Organization: First Acrylic Church of Pope Snuffy

Newsgroups: alt.evil, alt.slack, alt.feminism,

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 (MegEliz) wrote:


[In response to some Pinkboy, who spewed SLACK-less-lee:]


>: You know, I can't understand you women. (feminists, that is) You run

>: rampant over our golf courses.


Really? And do they run naked? Wow! I live right down the street from a

golf course! I never knew -- *that's* the place to meet naked chicks!

Boy, this here Information Superhighway thing is the -greatest-!


>GGRRRRRR! I warned you pinheads to lay off women's golf. Would you

>listen? No, you would not. OF COURSE it sucks. GOLF sucks.


Actually, any game that involves putting somethng -into- something sucks,

because it's all OBVIOUSLY a euphamism for sex, invented and played by

folks who are NOT GETTIN' ANY! I mean it -- golf, pool, darts, marbles --

hey, marbles! Lookit marbles! Fer'jayz'sakes, that's the game that

little boys play, because they -can't- or -won't- play with the girls!

Tell me, tell me, tell me that these games aren't invented by frustrated

riot nrrrrds with too much time on their hands!


Of course, one could say the same about these Internet conferences ... but

let's move on, shall we?


>This is

>totally beside and away and really remote from the point. When I

>confronted the most Spock-like dyed-in-the-chino sexist I know,


Short Shameful Confession: I'm wearing Dockers, even as I write this.

(But I'm -trying- to improve! I'm accepting offers from volunteers who'd

be willing to help me get out of them, RIGHT NOW!)



>forced him to reduce his arguments one thing, do you know what his

>reasoning was???? Well, DO YOU????


>Once he could again speak with sufficient clarity, he said, "Feminists

>suck because...because...women's golf sucks." Actually he said, "wim's

>gof sugs,"


That's surprisingly good elucidation, under the circumstances. It's

amazing what plastic surgery can do, after correcting for a genetically

inherited cranial-rectal inversion condition, isn't it?


>Anybody who can't fully appreciate that golf=golf=stupid should get a

>**FREE INFLATABLE BARBIE DOLL** from Health and Human Services

>delivered to their home AND their office to discourage the remaining

>poor odds of their tragic reproduction.


This is a truly inspired idea. It's a bit like seeding the Pink

population with sterile mates, the way that's done when they release

infertile female medflies into the swarm, in order to induce the horny

males to cream-cheese the love-bagel that will not spawn.


There's only one problem, Miz MegEliz: don't have H.H.S. do it, FIGURE

OUT A WAY FOR SUBS TO MAKE MONEY FROM IT, and have the cranial-rectal

inverts PAY to hump their way into natural-selection oblivion!


That much said, yer on the right track ...



>instructions in the use of said doll should be presented, addressed to

>the recipient, in sky-writing.


Oh, dear. Do you really think we -need- to x-plain to the Pinks, what to

do with these devices? The problem is worse than I ever realized ....


>This is the platform of the So What If It Does Party. Vote for me.


I shall! Often and early! Give me beer, and I'll commit ballot fraud

repeatedly (well, three times in a night, anyway)!


>Not-Yet Popette (Troll? Did somebody say troll?) Meg


Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin, Mme. Meg. Nice post.


>My sig is not under construction. It's dead.




From the "Why Can't We Get Ones Like This?" Dep't:

Elected to Parliament in Denmark: Jacob Haugarrd. He promised

good weather, better Christmas presents, tail winds for all

bicyclists, and standard-sized vacuum cleaner bags.

[Wall St. Journal, 10-6-94; Chicago Sun-Times-Reuters, 9-23-94]