Subject: Re: New Favorite TV Ad
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 02:54:49 -0600
From: email@example.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Organization: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
Newsgroups: alt.slack, alt.friday, alt.binaries.slack
In article <friday-ya02408000R2311980810400001@news.tiac.net>,
firstname.lastname@example.org (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:
> I saw an ad for some product toted as "New Advanced St. John's Wort" which is
> CLINICALLY PROVEN TO KEEP LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE!
> Think about it.
Laff on, Friday, but "antidepressants" as they're known in the late 90s
are NO JOKE to those of us who HAVE TO HAVE THEM for whatever reason. Much
as I enjoy seeing your bountiful chest heave with laughter.
In the very bizarrest way, St. John's Wort has literally been clinically
proven to HELP keep life in perspective, FOR SOME PEOPLE.
I have never been able to remember to take it every morning like I'm
supposed to, but if I did, I probably would be a *little* less pissed off.
I hardly need remind the 1984-mined SubGenii that a PILL (like
Christianity or the New Age) that supposedly makes you "LESS PISSED OFF"
is the very thing we have most fretted about and warned against.
BUT. If you're so pissed off that you're paralyzed, a piss-off-lessening
agent may be just what the doktor ordered.
"Let's 'Frop up, so we can get back to hating the Conspiracy instead of
hating ourselves." -- Puzzling Evidence
It's a cinch that mere Frop is exactly what kept me writing funny plays on
words instead of carving them into the BONE STRUCTURE of INNOCENT
UNTHINKING MORON PINKS. But for most people, 'Frop or even its pale
imitation, marijuana, only makes them MORE nervous and anxiety-ridden --
if that's the condition their condition is in, as it is with so many of
St. John's Wort, from what I've heard, acts in its toothless old witch way
much the same way that Wellbutrin, Serzone, Prozac, and Zyprexa
(Olanzapine) (depending on the generic vs. brand names) ACTUALLY DO WORK
for SOME SPECIFIC PEOPLE: it helps replenish brain chemicals that were
By "MISSING" I don't mean the lack of these brain chemicals makes you more
tolerant of Conspiracy crap. By "MISSING" I mean, the lack of these brain
chemicals PREVENTS YOU FROM HAVING THE SLACK NECESSARY TO FIGHT THE
CONSPIRACY AND BUILD MORE SLACK.
Some SubGenii seem to feel this strange STIGMA about having to take
"PILS". I say, PRAISE "BOB" that the Conspiracy and its SubGenius slaves
got so high-tech sci-fi that they CAN make the GOOD pils, even BETTER.
I'll bet that pore old Abe Lincoln would not have squirmed around about
the "stigma" of "antidepressants" if Mary Lincoln could have been HAPPY
for a change.
When I was a kid, if you were crazy, they gave you DOWNERS like
Meprobamate and Thorazine and Valium and suchlike. Valium is GREAT if you
want to JUST BE A DUMBASS for awhile. Modern day antidepressants work on
an entirely different principle, one which will probably look really
primitive by Star Trek standards, but HEY.
YOU ALREADY HAVE A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD so what's the dif, EH?
Seriously... from everything I've gathered, these "good" pils don't drag
down your intuition, imagination nor Divine Hate in the slightest, but
they do put some kind of a dulling filter on the "IMPOTENT SHEER
PARALYSING SELF PITY AND HATRED OF SOCIETY AND SELF" that a few of us have
to juggle in the early part of the day.
There are gals who have to compensate for especially virulent periods, and
there are bipeds who have to compensate for a relentless and rapacious
hatred and wish for vengeance that we all know perfectly well is
pointless, and is in fact somewhat counterproductive to dwell upon.
Harumph. What is the meaning of this.
And so there.
I'm not on those pils myself, but I probably should be, and St. John's
Wort (for whatever reason) seems to be a good way to sidestep the Lilly
pharmaceutical druglords... if possible.
My personal Healing Faith involves vast realms and stockpiles of human
knowledge, and very expensive machines and potions. Sometimes I *WISH* I
was superstitious, or rather, superstitious from a less rational
scientific humanist viewpoint.
The chemical known as seratonin seems to be instrumental in all this, but
Modern Science and his buddies haven't been able to boil it down to a
cheap capsule like those 5 for a dollar concoctions they sell in
convenience stores as "energy boosters." Bucnha damn psuedoephedrin (which
is in EVERY cold remedy) and some damiana, to make you want to FIGHT.
God damn alcoholic speedfreak culture.
I had some of my very best times on Thunderbird Wine and Dexedrine, but
SHEESH. Things like that only accentuate the problem. What we all need are
the pils or pics or music that both accentuate the problem and
simultaneously SOOTHE it. CRIPES -- it's a VICTIMLESS crime. And in many
states of mind, it isn't even a crime at all!
Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack