Subject: Re: New Favorite TV Ad

Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 02:54:49 -0600

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

Organization: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.

Newsgroups: alt.slack, alt.friday, alt.binaries.slack

References: 1

 

 

In article <friday-ya02408000R2311980810400001@news.tiac.net>,

friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:

 

> I saw an ad for some product toted as "New Advanced St. John's Wort" which is

>

> CLINICALLY PROVEN TO KEEP LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE!

>

> Think about it.

 

 

Laff on, Friday, but "antidepressants" as they're known in the late 90s

are NO JOKE to those of us who HAVE TO HAVE THEM for whatever reason. Much

as I enjoy seeing your bountiful chest heave with laughter.

 

In the very bizarrest way, St. John's Wort has literally been clinically

proven to HELP keep life in perspective, FOR SOME PEOPLE.

 

I have never been able to remember to take it every morning like I'm

supposed to, but if I did, I probably would be a *little* less pissed off.

 

I hardly need remind the 1984-mined SubGenii that a PILL (like

Christianity or the New Age) that supposedly makes you "LESS PISSED OFF"

is the very thing we have most fretted about and warned against.

 

BUT. If you're so pissed off that you're paralyzed, a piss-off-lessening

agent may be just what the doktor ordered.

 

"Let's 'Frop up, so we can get back to hating the Conspiracy instead of

hating ourselves." -- Puzzling Evidence

 

It's a cinch that mere Frop is exactly what kept me writing funny plays on

words instead of carving them into the BONE STRUCTURE of INNOCENT

UNTHINKING MORON PINKS. But for most people, 'Frop or even its pale

imitation, marijuana, only makes them MORE nervous and anxiety-ridden --

if that's the condition their condition is in, as it is with so many of

us.

 

St. John's Wort, from what I've heard, acts in its toothless old witch way

much the same way that Wellbutrin, Serzone, Prozac, and Zyprexa

(Olanzapine) (depending on the generic vs. brand names) ACTUALLY DO WORK

for SOME SPECIFIC PEOPLE: it helps replenish brain chemicals that were

MISSING.

 

By "MISSING" I don't mean the lack of these brain chemicals makes you more

tolerant of Conspiracy crap. By "MISSING" I mean, the lack of these brain

chemicals PREVENTS YOU FROM HAVING THE SLACK NECESSARY TO FIGHT THE

CONSPIRACY AND BUILD MORE SLACK.

 

Some SubGenii seem to feel this strange STIGMA about having to take

"PILS". I say, PRAISE "BOB" that the Conspiracy and its SubGenius slaves

got so high-tech sci-fi that they CAN make the GOOD pils, even BETTER.

I'll bet that pore old Abe Lincoln would not have squirmed around about

the "stigma" of "antidepressants" if Mary Lincoln could have been HAPPY

for a change.

 

When I was a kid, if you were crazy, they gave you DOWNERS like

Meprobamate and Thorazine and Valium and suchlike. Valium is GREAT if you

want to JUST BE A DUMBASS for awhile. Modern day antidepressants work on

an entirely different principle, one which will probably look really

primitive by Star Trek standards, but HEY.

 

YOU ALREADY HAVE A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD so what's the dif, EH?

 

Seriously... from everything I've gathered, these "good" pils don't drag

down your intuition, imagination nor Divine Hate in the slightest, but

they do put some kind of a dulling filter on the "IMPOTENT SHEER

PARALYSING SELF PITY AND HATRED OF SOCIETY AND SELF" that a few of us have

to juggle in the early part of the day.

 

There are gals who have to compensate for especially virulent periods, and

there are bipeds who have to compensate for a relentless and rapacious

hatred and wish for vengeance that we all know perfectly well is

pointless, and is in fact somewhat counterproductive to dwell upon.

 

Harumph. What is the meaning of this.

Hmmph.

 

And so there.

 

I'm not on those pils myself, but I probably should be, and St. John's

Wort (for whatever reason) seems to be a good way to sidestep the Lilly

pharmaceutical druglords... if possible.

 

My personal Healing Faith involves vast realms and stockpiles of human

knowledge, and very expensive machines and potions. Sometimes I *WISH* I

was superstitious, or rather, superstitious from a less rational

scientific humanist viewpoint.

 

The chemical known as seratonin seems to be instrumental in all this, but

Modern Science and his buddies haven't been able to boil it down to a

cheap capsule like those 5 for a dollar concoctions they sell in

convenience stores as "energy boosters." Bucnha damn psuedoephedrin (which

is in EVERY cold remedy) and some damiana, to make you want to FIGHT.

 

God damn alcoholic speedfreak culture.

 

I had some of my very best times on Thunderbird Wine and Dexedrine, but

SHEESH. Things like that only accentuate the problem. What we all need are

the pils or pics or music that both accentuate the problem and

simultaneously SOOTHE it. CRIPES -- it's a VICTIMLESS crime. And in many

states of mind, it isn't even a crime at all!

 

--

Copyright 1998 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the

Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.

PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB

http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack