Subject: False Reality Bites My Buzzcut!

Date: 24 Jan 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: "Myrkury" <MyRK@VOICENET.com>

Organization: voicenet bad advertises itself if i leave this field blank

Newsgroups: alt.slack

 

 

You know what makes me sick to my stomach? I'll tell ya, its sharing a

good cry with Sam Donaldson. Thats right just last night I was watching

Sam and Cokie blather on Larry King live and Sam nearly came to tears when

he was discussing the way nobody even bothered to pretend in the existance

of an objective reality. Now if the alien intelligence that lives in

Sam's toupee finds this hearbreaking despite its plans for world

domination how do you think I felt?

Now I'm sure that my use of BIGWORDS in the above paragraph has caused

many of you to choose to ignore what I have to say, but you cannot ignore

me on this matter. My truth will presnt itself to you at all times and in

all ways. Every time gravity works or drinking beer makes you

piss..reality is right there laughing at you. Imagine I hold up some

fingers and ask you to tell me how many. You say two. Well the fact is I

was holding up three fingers and you could see them but you were so stupid

and contrary that you continue to insist I was holding up two fingers.

Now its the next day and you spent the entire evening going around telling

people that I am an evil liar and a sore looser and how I really did only

hold up two fingers, everyone I speak to believes you about the fingers.

In fact not only does everyone believe I held up two fingers..but they

believe that I am an evil liar and you are my noble victim. Why do you

think I hate you so?

Worthless peasant oafs have always preferred to avoid rational thought

and this is okay because if they did think rationally they would kill

themselves before getting around to fixing my carbeurator. But when

literate people cease to understand or care about the nature of objective

reality we are all in trouble. And when the mighty and influential begin

to tell everyone that it is okay to ignore the actual physical bodies and

actions that make up our universe and choose from a chinese menu of

possible realities we are in shit deep enough to make the evil alien

perched on Sam Donaldson's head cry.

Oh, I guess I used BIGWORDS again, so for a second time you have ignored

me. Well eat strichnine and die you turds. So you are thinking about the

nature of perception and epistemology and the like, and you are coming up

with brilliant philisophical retorts. Again I must say drop dead crap for

brains cause thats just what insane powers that be want you to do. I

ain't talking about that stuff. I'm talking about stuff like this:

 

>Actually, no church claims to have the infallibly correct truth but two:

>the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church. Oddly,

>these are also the only two who recognize all seven sacraments, the

>need for apostolic succession, and have at least 1000 years of common

>history between them, acknowledged by both.

 

This is not real or true, what is real and true is that there are some

protestant Christians who believe the above to be true. And what about

this:

 

> > ...Amnesty International study showed that 62 innocent people have

been

> > executed in the US since the turn of the century.

> Another study from Boston has examined each of those cases and

> determined that all but one were guilty.

 

Again, neither of these statements are true. The actual truth of the

matter is that by one unmentioned standard there are at least 62

identifiable instances of people who probably didn't commit a crime

getting executed. The actual truth of the matter is that some of those 62

were probably guilty and some of the guilty were probably actually

innocent.

This willful denial of objective truth presents a difference of opinion

as a dispute over facts. This is why I cry, because we have been told

that bias=lies. Niche marketing has been applied to reality. Used to be

that a news outlet reported the facts and then spun then to suit the

biases of the owners of the outlet. Folks of every opinion could watch

the same newscast, agree on the facts presented and decide for themselves

if the opinion and style of the pleased or annoyed them. Somebody figured

out that only those pleased by the bias of a particular media outlet would

buy the coffee mug and T-shirt. So we got reporting of marketable

opinions as truth. We are told the outcomes of studies rather than the

nature of the thing studied itself.

 

WHEN PERCEPTION BECOMES REALITY WE ARE ALL EVIL, WE ARE ALL LIARS, WE ARE

ALL THE MAN

 

Rev. Myrkury, Bishop of Buzzcuts

Steel Toad Temple

Traditional Heterodoxy

(Original Schism)

 

P.S. This is very poorly written and makes little sense. What I was

trying to say is that when one asserts something one ought to have a ready

explanation of the basis for the assertion