Subject: Ed Bradley
Date: 29 Mar 1997 00:00:00 GMT
From: "Dr. Hieronymous Zinn" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
(This assumes the fairness and and honesty of ABC v. Food Lion)
60 MINUTES--ED BRADLEY INTERVIEWS REVEREND IVAN STANG
VOICE OVER: "Tonight on 60 Minutes."
E.B.: "I have seen the "killing fields" of Cambodia, cattle
mutilations in the midwest, the slaughter of baby seals in
Canada, child prostitution in Thailand, and toe-sucking in
Washington, D.C.; but nothing that could quite prepare me for
and interview with the Reverend Ivan Stang of the Church of the
L.S.: "All that and more. Tonight on 60 Minutes."
E.B.: "With the national uproar over the deaths of some 39
cultists in San Diego, the spotlight has been turned to some
of the larger and more unusual cult activity in the United
"We have taken our cameras to Dallas, Texas, for an interview
with a leader of one such cult. His name is the Reverend Ivan
Stang, and the group of losers, freaks, and outcasts in his
control are collectively known as the Church of the SubGenius."
"Tonight, in an unbiased and unedited interview, we will attempt
to determine if the government should treat them the same way
it treated the Branch Davidians in nearby Waco, Texas."
E.B.: "When we first broke through the front door of Reverend
Stang's palatial mansion, we found him sitting on the toilet, in
what appeared to be a deep, meditative trance."
"YO! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! YOU'RE ON NETWORK TELEVISION!!"
Stang: AAAIIIEEEGGGHHH! What th' hell?
(I leave it up to alt.slack to finish the interview/expose.)