Subject: Ed Bradley

Date: 29 Mar 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: "Dr. Hieronymous Zinn" <ruthy2425@asu.campus.mci.net>

Organization: CampusMCI

Newsgroups: alt.slack

 

 

(This assumes the fairness and and honesty of ABC v. Food Lion)

 

60 MINUTES--ED BRADLEY INTERVIEWS REVEREND IVAN STANG

 

VOICE OVER: "Tonight on 60 Minutes."

 

E.B.: "I have seen the "killing fields" of Cambodia, cattle

mutilations in the midwest, the slaughter of baby seals in

Canada, child prostitution in Thailand, and toe-sucking in

Washington, D.C.; but nothing that could quite prepare me for

and interview with the Reverend Ivan Stang of the Church of the

SubGenius."

 

L.S.: "All that and more. Tonight on 60 Minutes."

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

E.B.: "With the national uproar over the deaths of some 39

cultists in San Diego, the spotlight has been turned to some

of the larger and more unusual cult activity in the United

States.

"We have taken our cameras to Dallas, Texas, for an interview

with a leader of one such cult. His name is the Reverend Ivan

Stang, and the group of losers, freaks, and outcasts in his

control are collectively known as the Church of the SubGenius."

"Tonight, in an unbiased and unedited interview, we will attempt

to determine if the government should treat them the same way

it treated the Branch Davidians in nearby Waco, Texas."

 

INTERVIEW

 

E.B.: "When we first broke through the front door of Reverend

Stang's palatial mansion, we found him sitting on the toilet, in

what appeared to be a deep, meditative trance."

"YO! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! YOU'RE ON NETWORK TELEVISION!!"

 

Stang: AAAIIIEEEGGGHHH! What th' hell?

 

E.B.:

 

(I leave it up to alt.slack to finish the interview/expose.)