Subject: Re: Slack on Stern!

Date: 31 Jan 1996 00:00:00 GMT

From: (Pastor Craig)

Organization: Philadelphia City Paper's City Net

Newsgroups: alt.slack



>From: (Anonymous)

>Subject: Re: Slack on Stern!

>Date: 30 Jan 1996 00:15:19 +0100


[note: If I was as stupid as this guy,

I would post anonymously too!]


>In article <4egc79$>,

> (Pastor Craig) wrote:


>>>From: (Phineas)

>>>Subject: Re: Slack on Stern!

>>>Date: Wed, 24 Jan 96 04:52:48 PST


>>> (Friday Jones) writes:


>>>> In article <4e21k0$>,

>>>> the Grand Clavister ) wrote:


>>>>> In <4e14ao$> writes:


>>>>>>On Monday (1/22) there was a guy that Howard knows that was

>>>>>>about the Church. I didn't catch his name, but he was a sub who

>>>>>>Howard knows, who called in to explain what the 'Goddess' was...


>>>> Is this not Bill Cates AKA Bleepo Abernathy? Apparently

>>>> Stuttering John claimed that Cates had gone to some "pagan"

>>>> things at a nightclub in New York and Cates said "You're

>>>> confusing Paganism witht he Church of the SubGenius." Later he

>>>> wished Howard Slack, and when Howard asked "Is Slack a

>>>> Pagan thing?" Cates answered "No, it's a SubGenius thing."


>>>> We must implant our meme-religion into Howard Stern! Think of

>>>> the ratings! Think of the exposure! Think of the TITHES!!!


>>>> - The Irreverend Friday Jones


>>>Yes, we must get Stern 'on board'. A hard sell. Stress the naked

>>>and free sex and pills aspect.



>> I disagree. If Howard Stern did his show tomorrow and

>> proclaimed that J. R. "Bob" Dobbs was the Saint of Sales

>> and that all his zombie like followers should send money

>> to the sacred P. O. Box 140306 Dallas, Texas 75214 then

>> not a single one would send money. Why? Because Howard

>> Stern's message is the exact opposite of "Bob's" message.


>> Why?


>> "Bob" says that the Slack you need does not have be same

>> as anyone else's slack.

>> Howard says that you suck if the thing that gives you

>> slack is not the same thing that gives other people slack.


> Howard Stern says no such thing.


>> "Bob" says that you can be a virgin or an atheist and

>> still be a SubGenius.

>> Howard says that if you are a male virgin then you are

>> a loser.


> When did 'Bob' ever say that male virgins aren't

> losers? 'Bob' and Stern both believe in getting

> virgins laid!


>> Howard says that if you are an atheist then you are

>> going to hell.


> I told ya not to be stupid ya moron! Howard Stern is

> an atheist. As he once said 'Jesus - Easter Bunny -

> same thing!' and 'When you die you go in a box and get

> eaten by worms. There's no heaven' And on the Bible

> 'Some people think that God wrote the Bible - they're

> that sick!'


>> "Bob" says that it doesn't matter what you look like

>> if you have slack.

>> Howard says that if you don't confirm to the exacting

>> specifications of the pages of porno magazines or New

>> York Modeling agencies and you are a female then you

>> do not exist and should undergo hundreds of thousands

>> of dollars of cosmetic surgery.


> No, he just says that he'll be more likely to lust after you.


>> "Bob" is the religion of the individual.

>> Howard is the religion of the crowd.


> Howard is an individualist. He tells the crowd to fuck off and die.


>> "Bob" revels in weirdness.

>> Howard revels in commonness.


> Have you EVER listened to Stern's show?


>> Having Howard Stern be a SubGenius spokesperson makes as much

>> sense as having Clarence Thomas be a spokesperson for the KKK.


> Stern isn't going to promote 'Bob' because he considers

> himself to be the King of all Media. Besides, he is

> funny enough to devise his own jokes to believe in.

> - King of all Heretics


Unlike many other people on this user group, I find it a

waste of time to argue with someone without the necessary

critical skills. Therefore I will no go point by point

with this person and leave his clumsy and unsound

arguments fluttering in the air for all to see.


But ...


For all those thinking that getting Howard Stern to promote

"Bob" is a good idea, look no farther than this post for the

thought processes of a Howard Stern fan. Is this (anonymous)

person going to send money to P.O. Box 140306 Dallas Texas

75214? No. Why? Because, like a fundamentalist Christian,

this person will take any quotation or gimmick from the

Howard Stern show and use it out of context to justify his

unthought out beliefs. This person is so sure of his

unexamined ideas that he even thinks he can speak for "Bob!"


This is the person who Howard Stern speaks to. There sure

are a lot of them. Fortunately, there aren't any in the

Church of the SubGenius and I hope that we can keep it

that way.


Pastor Craig