Subject: Re: Cheap-ass Niggers

Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1998 12:17:29 -0500

From: "König Preuße, GmbH" <>

Organization: Lou Minotti & the Clamsauce Enema Band

Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack, alt.slack

References: 1


Legume wrote:


> I like niggers.


Development Report


MOGADISHU, SOMALIA--Secretary of State

Madeleine Albright arrived in Mogadishu Monday,

beginning a four-day diplomatic visit to the totally

fucked-up nation of Somalia.


"The ravages of civil war have taken a terrible toll on

Somalia, claiming the lives of more than 500,000 people

since 1995," said Albright in an address before the United

Somali Congress. "Another 300,000 Somalis have died of

disease and hunger. Your nation is truly up shit creek."


Albright called for an increase in U.N. funds for

resettlement of the nearly two million Somali refugees

displaced by political unrest. She also pledged $800 million

in U.S. aid for food and medical supplies, though she

acknowledged that it would make little difference in a

country so profoundly under the shithammer.


"Somalia is fragmented under the control of a dozen

rival clan-based ruling factions, each with its own military

force," Albright said. "The resultant internal fighting,

compounded by perpetual border tension with Ethiopia,

makes it difficult to establish the kind of stability necessary

for sustained, substantive economic development."


Added Albright: "Christ, this place is fucked."


In addition to pledging $800 million in aid,

Albright said the U.S. will finally restore economic

ties severed in 1989 due to human-rights violations

committed by the now-deposed Siad Barre government.


"By driving out the corrupt Siad Barre regime,

Somalia has shown a commitment to reform," Albright said.

"Steps are being taken to establish a climate in which democracy

and free-market capitalism can take root.


But despite such progress, we must not lose sight

of the fact that this nation is in such a shitstorm of trouble,

it is unlikely ever to happen. I mean, there's fucked,

and then there's total, reamed-up-the-ass, fucked-in-half



Albright's visit included a tour along the only paved road in Somalia.

The road runs from Berbera in the north to Mogadishu, and then

down to Chisimayu, a city Albright said is all the way in the shitter.


"The U.N. classifies Somalia as a developing nation," Albright said.

"Well, I didn't see very much developing going on in Chisimayu.

You don't even want to know where these people go to

the bathroom. I practically fucking puked."


U.S. political experts say Albright's assessment of the situation is

on target.


"Right now, three different men claim to be ruling Somalia,"

said Dr. James Knox, a Yale University African Studies

professor specializing in the insane shit going on in the Gulf of Aden

region. "A clan chief in Northern Somalia has proclaimed independence

and leads a government in Hargeysa, while another clan chief,

Hussein Aideed, recently nominated himself president of the

Somali National Alliance. Then there's Ali Mahdi Muhammad,

who presides over the United Somali Congress.

Could you imagine if that kind of fucked-up shit went on in America?"


Environmental factors have exacerbated the plight of Somalia,

which has been hit by crippling droughts and massive flooding.

Earlier this year, the Jubba River in southern Somalia flooded,

causing massive crop devastation and leaving hundreds

of thousands unbelievably fucked.


"The factors responsible for the chaos in Somalia

are complex and varied," Knox said, "but whatever the cause,

one thing is clear: This East African nation of nine million

is taking it in the ass, big-time. And as far as I can tell,

there's pretty much not a chance in hell they'll be able to un-fuck

themselves anytime soon."