Subject: TECHNO RANT
Date: 14 Feb 1997 00:00:00 GMT
From: "Dr. Hieronymous Zinn"email@example.com
What is this freaking obsession with QUALITY? This is some kind of
bobbie plot. Why are they using realaudio when TrueShlock works just
fine? Is this some kind of infiltration by Microsquid Corp., trying
to suck the creativity, the lifeforce out of the church?
GOO, new programming languages, snazzy graphics, it's all trying to
separate us from our roots as low rent radical feebs. Soon we will be
swapping our 5-foot high paper mache penises with pictures of Lou
Costello stenciled on them and pubic-hair throw rugs for beemers and
Rush Limbaugh ties that WE HAVE PAID FOR!
I expect to see alt.slack addresses like "firstname.lastname@example.org" and
"Miss Reverendness Heather of the 'naughty, bad girls who ate
at Planet Hollywood once and, like, didn't leave a tip.'"
How do you expect to be orgazmically creative when your fantasies
are playing tennis with Cher's chiropractor instead of being
double-teamed by Judy and Penny Robinson in a tub full of
pasta while Robot plays a medley of John Philip Sousa and
G.G. Allen at 120dB on his $5 Radio Shed speaker, during an
8.5 earthquake, while Regis Philben screams passages from
Nietzsche while crapping in the sink?
There must be thousands of SG web pages by now! What are
they going to do next, put in a JaBBa Schlockwave Link to
the CIA? The Pentagon?
I don't want to kill an IMAGE OF "BOB" I WANT TO KILL THE
If you answer this, IT HAD BETTER NOT BE SPELLCHECKED!
WILL SOMEBODY JIGGLE THAT DAMN HANDLE!!!