Subject: TECHNO RANT

Date: 14 Feb 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: "Dr. Hieronymous Zinn" ruthy2425@asu.campus.mci.net

Organization: CampusMCI

Newsgroups: alt.slack

 

What is this freaking obsession with QUALITY? This is some kind of

bobbie plot. Why are they using realaudio when TrueShlock works just

fine? Is this some kind of infiltration by Microsquid Corp., trying

to suck the creativity, the lifeforce out of the church?

 

GOO, new programming languages, snazzy graphics, it's all trying to

separate us from our roots as low rent radical feebs. Soon we will be

swapping our 5-foot high paper mache penises with pictures of Lou

Costello stenciled on them and pubic-hair throw rugs for beemers and

Rush Limbaugh ties that WE HAVE PAID FOR!

 

I expect to see alt.slack addresses like "debbi1@aol.com" and

"Miss Reverendness Heather of the 'naughty, bad girls who ate

at Planet Hollywood once and, like, didn't leave a tip.'"

How do you expect to be orgazmically creative when your fantasies

are playing tennis with Cher's chiropractor instead of being

double-teamed by Judy and Penny Robinson in a tub full of

pasta while Robot plays a medley of John Philip Sousa and

G.G. Allen at 120dB on his $5 Radio Shed speaker, during an

8.5 earthquake, while Regis Philben screams passages from

Nietzsche while crapping in the sink?

 

There must be thousands of SG web pages by now! What are

they going to do next, put in a JaBBa Schlockwave Link to

the CIA? The Pentagon?

 

I don't want to kill an IMAGE OF "BOB" I WANT TO KILL THE

REAL THING!

 

If you answer this, IT HAD BETTER NOT BE SPELLCHECKED!

 

WILL SOMEBODY JIGGLE THAT DAMN HANDLE!!!