Subject: kapootz

Date: 26 Dec 1998 00:00:00 GMT

From: (the schmoo)



Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free


what is it with coffee pots these days? Frigging things aren't worth a

damn. Just had another one crap out after a lousy couple months. Hadda

get out the camp pot. I dunno. Wasn't one of the cheapos, either.

Pricey or not, just lousy made-in-Malaysia junkola. Just like just

about everything else these days, I guess.


Screw this. I'm going go get something made for restaurant use at the

used store fixture and equipment place. Fat Bill what works there owes

me a favor, anyway, becuase of all the business I've thrown in his

direction. Maybe he'll cut me some kinda deal.




Foo. Big mess this morning. Something happened to the five gallon

ripoff delivered-spring-water dispenser that we have sitting on the

counter in the kitchen (because the wife refuses to drink chlorine or

flouride) and it dumped an entire jugfull onto the floor overnight.


It ran across the linoleum and soaked the shit out of a section of

carpet, which Bones gave a quick whiff and commenced to pissing on as

I was coming back from the laundry room with towels. I hollered at him

in the most horrible low-in-the-throat monster voice I could muster,

and chucked a shoe, and he scooted off, but unfortunately didn't cease

pissing before he did, and left a string of whizz-beads on the rug

clear across the living room and down the hall.


Jeezus. Dog ownership. Madness. Picked up his nearly-starved

flea-bitten ass on a dirt road back in the summertime, shelled out a

small fortune curing him of every kind of internal parasite known to

man and/or beast (including heartworms), shoveled enough food down his

neck to sink a jonboat, and the dumb SOB has done little in return

other than nearly drive me and everybody else crazy. Chews up

everything. Flops all over everybody but me with dirty, muddy feet

(I'll boot him one), starts tearing around the house with no warning

and for no reason and knocks shit over, trys to give all the women

that come over here a horsie ride on his nose while going


and the wall underneath the bird clock in my wife's office because the

chirping and hooting on the hour and the half hour was pissing him off

and he couldn't get to it to tear it to shreds, I guess, and he STILL

(at least only occasionally now, thank god) pisses in the house.


Ah well. At least if we're ever in danger of being attacked by dogs on

the television set, chipmunks, songbirds or delivery boys, he'll give

give us plenty of warning by letting fly with that earsplitting bark

of his.


Ah well, seriously. He IS a decent watchdog. But the other two dogs

are too, and I can only get so awake. Anyway. For some damn reason the

wife is crazy about him. Sez he has soulful eyes. Sheeyit.


Anyway. Nuff rambling. Gonna go putter around.