I found this on Lords of Pain Parody newsboard called Real Rasslin


This one was wirten by PainLord (Don't ask me who he is, I am just giving

the guy his credit for this) visit this page at the address below to see all

theother funny newboard posts.




The Seven Deadly Sins Of Gilligan


The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island theory is quite simple. Each

of the seven characters on the island represents each of the seven

deadly sins. Now, this theory seems to fit upon initial inspection,

there are technical difficulties when you get down to THE MAN himself,



Run with me on this one...


Most obvious is the Professor, who fits PRIDE to a T. Any man who can

make a ham radio out of some wire and two coconuts has to be pretty



For the sin of ENVY we need look no further than Maryann, who may have worn

those skimpy little tops, but could never achieve Ginger's glamour. (As an

interesting and completely irrelevant side note, a nationwide survey of

college students a few years ago revealed that the professor

and Maryann were voted the most likely couple to have 'done it' on the



And who could doubt for a moment that Ginger is LUST incarnate? Sure, the

kids were supposed to think she was ACTING, but we all know what being

deprived episode after episode was doing to her. You know and I know that

glazed look wasn't boredom, my friends.


What kind of person takes a trunk full of money on a three-hour cruise?

Mr Howell gets my vote for GREED.


We are now left with three characters and three Deadly Sins. We have

Gilligan, the Skipper and Mrs Howell to whom we must match GLUTTONY,

SLOTH and ANGER. As you can see, there is a Gilligan problem here.


Certainly we can further eliminate Mrs Howell from this equation by

connecting her with SLOTH. She did nothing during her many years on the

island and everybody knows it.


This leaves ANGER and GLUTTONY, either of which the Skipper had no

shortage. He was, after all, a big guy with the tendency to hit Gilligan

with his hat at least once an episode. After much consideration, I have

decided that he can easily do double-duty, covering the two remaining

Deadly Sins.


So here we have the Seven Deadly Sins trapped in an endlessly recurring

Hell of hope followed by denial and despair, forced to live with each other


in our TVs until the last re-run ends. And who is their captor?


What keeps them trapped there?




Gilligan is SATAN. Think about it.




And the scary part is, it makes sense!!!!!!!!!


Owen Aardvark

RSPW's Resident Evil®

"Evil Knows No Boundries!!!"


AOL IM screenname: O N RVARK


Read RSPWWCW!!!!!