Subject: ["BOB"] Pet Peeve
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1998 10:20:25 -0700
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (His Most Feathered Eminence)
Organization: Mystik Rotating Brotherhood of Light
References: 1 , 2
in amazement, I beheld email@example.com (Samhain99) write in alt.slack:
:)My personal enraging inbred idiot fucking rape of the English language
[ blah blah blah ]
my personal pet peeve is when inbred Pink idiots (people who have NEVER
posted on-topic, even just to show us that they can) come barging in to
alt.slack to leave STUPID SENSELESS NON-SUBGENIUS MESSAGES.
let's get this straight: you can post on just about *any* topic in
alt.slack, as long as your post whiffs of yeti. if you were to rant
in a truly SubGenius manner about the decline of the english language
and offered truly subgenius solutions to the problem (involving the
slaughter of Pinks,) AS IN FACT SUBGENII HAVE DONE BEFORE, that would
if it's not about "Bob", the holy incestuous cousin church, slack and
how to get it, or the Conspiracy and how to fight it, WE DON'T WANT
TO HEAR IT.
a quick list comparing SubGenius to non-SubGenius handling of topics:
Pinks post about Pink political parties and take one side or another.
SubGenii post about RAPING ALL POLITICAL PARTIES and establishing
our rightful yeti dominion.
Pinks post about how bad their job is, and how much they dislike
SubGenii post about QUITTING THEIR JOB and SLACKING OFF, and how
they became their OWN bosses and what horrific things they
have done to their *previous* bosses.
Pinks post about get-rich-quick schemes or crappy products.
SubGenii post about selling their own MAGNIFICENTLY CRAFTED products,
and offer these products at ABSURDLY LOW PRICES because they
aren't a bunch of ALIEN MAGGOT GODS like the ConsPiracy.
Pinks post about their popularity.
SubGenii post about their ANONYMOUS INFAMY.
Pinks post about their writing talents.
SubGenii post EXAMPLES of their writing talents that produce SCREAMS
of UNHOLY DELIGHT.
Pinks post about which religion is the best or worst.
SubGenii post about the INSANITY of believing any fucking human
can possibly figure out what it's all about, and MOCK
ALL RELIGIONS FOR BEING SO WRONG.
Pinks post about silly joke cults that make them giggle.
SubGenii post about THE ONE TRUE FAKE RELIGION and carry the banner
of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, the One True Salesman in a world of
consumers, proudly into battle against all false prophets.
Pinks post in ALL-CAPS.
SubGenii post in a pleasing mix of ALL-CAPS and normally-capitalized
words that bear SECRET MESSAGES within the text that only
another SubGenii can guess.
Oh, I was waiting for God! He's on the parallel bars.
His Most Feathered Eminence, the Ur-Beatle
your best friend. ever.