Subject: Re: Ethnic Markets

Date: 27 Jan 1999 00:00:00 GMT

From: (the Right Big Rev. Boss Dr. DeWaffless "Jubo" Schmeerz)

Organization: -----------------------------------

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free

References: 1


"=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <>



> One thing about the influx of fux from other countries

>is that they brought their appetites with them. There is

>something to be said for the variety of the little markets

>that have participated in this dietary diaspora. If I want

>pretty good curry powder, or a consultation on chutney,

>there's the Singhs. Or Moroccan, they got for cardomon lamb.


> My current enchantment is with two of the local Korean

>markets, they have great noodles, seaweed, and unique beef.

>One Korean market has indoor parking, a sushi bar, and a hot

>table for "to go" stuff like baby octopus, maybe 36 kinds of good

>things, a lot of it with peppers that would make a Mexican wince.


> What I like the best about the "foreign markets" is that they smell!

>And they smell good! The most that I can hope for in a domestic

>chain store is to smell sour mops, maybe if I'm lucky, coffee and

>baking bread. This has probably occured because I am angry at

>the world in some very skeery ways that I can't understand, but

>the best part is that if I give her a rock, she'll suck my cock.


There's a big market we go to in the city. Huge. Concrete floor with

water all over it. Frequented by every wog and slope and misfit

immigrant that lives South of the Mason-Dixon. But I don't think it's

owned by Koreans. Seems to be nothing but Koreans working there,

though. Some of it smells good. Other parts not so hot. But there is

one really little guy in a slicker that's always covered with scales

and smeared with guts that carries a big knife, and he doesn't smell

too good at all. Every now and then he picks up a microphone and says

something like: "Numbah feefty-two yah fish ah leady." Then makes a

face like he's kinda irritated and sick of chopping up squid and fish

and stuff for a living.


Theres also little gooks tearing around on forklifts with mushed

cabbage-slicked wheels going BEEP BEEP BEEP at the dotheads blocking

their way while they poke and squeeze and sniff the yahoodiefruit and

barking lentils and stuff.


They have an enormous cheese selection there, though. Every kind of

moldy, gluey, hard, soft partially rotted, agglutinated wax-dipped

milkfat mutilation known to man. Too bad I don't much like cheese

anymore. Well, I do. Just don't buy it much. Too fatty.


They got live Dungeness crabs, too. Like to buy those once in a while.

Bring them home and rip them apart while they are still alive because

I can't stand them boiled whole. Just crab the legs on one side with

one hand, the tuck the fingers of the other hand under the shell and

rip them in two. Like to wash all that slop and dead man's fingers out

before I cook them so it doesn't taint the meat in the body. But if

they are lively you can lose a finger yourself doing if you aren't

careful. I got nailed pretty good once by a huge blue crab when I had

a whole coolerful to do and got cocky and careless. HE grabbed the

part of my hand between the thumb and forefinger. Had to smash him to

flinders on the cutting board with one of those meat-beating mallets,

then pry the claw open with a tableknife to get him off. Probably

needed stiches. Didn't get any.


Anyway, they do taste better that way. And the process is good

entertainment for your dinner guests. For some reason watching it

makes some people sick, seeing the shell ripped off the critter and

the flailing legs and claws ceasing to flail immediately, but it

doesn't bother them in the least to chuck them live into boiling

water. Go figger.