Subject: My friday afternoon walk

Date: 15 Nov 1996 00:00:00 GMT

From: "Myrkury" <MyRK@VOICENET.com>

Organization: Voicenet - Internet Access - (215)674-9290

Newsgroups: alt.slack

 

 

Around 11:30 am I had finally finished up a pile of law school

reccomendations and it was time to put them in the mail. Being painfully

aware that I was facillitating yet another generation of contingency fee

personal injury lawyers, this endeavor had taken mucho slack from me, in

fact if it wasn't for you slackshitz ({tm} Tarla Star) and your generous

contributions to my store I'd most likely have snapped and started running

up and down the steps of the art museum (FYI I live in Philly) buck naked

screaming "I AM BUCHANNAN HEAR ME ROAR." So I decided to go the long way

to the post office on Sixth and Market instead of the one on Twelfth and

Dickinson. I also needed to stop and pick up a human head-in-a-box for

Dave Lynch (oh yeah, Dave, it'll arrive on Wenedsday by UPS, if not e-mail

me and I'll get on their asses, another thing I forgot to include the

instructions.) The first stop was at C.'s House of Cheese where I picked

up some Belli d'Cerigniola, Soprasatta, Tallegio, and the special

Gorgonzola that C. leaves under the refrigerator for special customers. I

also picked up some packing materials to keep Dave's head from rattling

around in transit. When I got up to the counter I saw what I consider to

be THE indicator of the Xmass shopping season having begun, giant blocks

of nougat full of almonds and filberts. I bought a piece the size of a

cinder block and made a mental note to call my dentist. I then headed up

the street to V.'s Taoist pharmacy. V. is an ethnic Chinese immigrant

from Vietnam (he was a green beret) who is now a full time dealer in

really scary looking medicinal "things," I don't know if they are animal

mineral or vegatable or what. He'd just gotten in a new shipment of

Jasmine tea and treated me to a couple of boxes. He was on his way out

and asked if I wanted to join him and the rest of the small businessmen on

the block (mostly Italians) at McDonalds for lunch, sadly I had to

decline. You see, "lunch at McDonalds" is a code phrase for the

lunch-buffet/titstravaganza across the street from McDonalds down on

Delaware (Columbus Blvd.) Ave. I was in a bit of a hurry to make the

lunchtime UPS pick-up at P. mailbox/shipping joint. I made it with time

to spare and hung out with P. for a while discussing the Pekineese (sp?)

that would be competing in the Dog show down at the convention center.

Now I'm a commited cat person, but Pekes are about as tolerable as dogs

get. Anyhow I compared the costs/benefits of sending Dave the human head

by UPS or FedEx two day, and had an epiphany about why Lou is tightening

up the Winking Lizard Supply. I finally meandered down to the Post Office

where I mailed out the reccomendations (I would like to post them to a.s

but that would be totally unprofessional and illegal as hell.) Now it was

time to get my slack back so I headed down to the used CD store, on the

way I saw that three of the most annoying trendy twenty-something

restaurant/nightspots in my area were closed (this is since Monday)

shuttered and had big signs saying "Available Through Triangle Realty"

below a big green triangle with an eye on the top. Now I know what the

CotSG does with the money, good job. Of course if I had liked these

restaurants these signs would have been further proof of the existence of

the CON. I got to the CD store and hit the jackpot! I picked up (for

$7.00 each)

"The Best of the Box Tops; Soul Deep" by the Box Tops

"Laugh While You Can Monkey Boy!" a compilation of BOMP! artists.($4.99)

"Sister Lovers/Third" combined CD by Big Star

"#1 Record/Radio City" combined CD by Big Star

"Live at Carnegie Hall" by Sweet Honey In The Rock

"Still on the Journey" by Sweet Honey In The Rock

(hey Jetrock, these last two are what I meant about good Xtian music)

I then went to McDicks and had a super-sized BigDick value meal with a

Diet Coke (ooh have I got a headache.) The fries sucked, just like they

have every time I've been to McDicks since they switched from real

wholesome LARD to some nasty vegetable oil concoction. [FYI there is a

huge aftermarket for used deep fryer grease, in fact there is a thriving

market in STOLEN used deep fryer grease. This grease is sold to the

cosmetics industry which converts it into make-up.] I bought the Philly

Daily News, one of the slackest mass circulation papers in the country

(they endorsed Clinton during the Republican primaries on the stated logic

that Clinton may suck, but the Republican candidate is axiomatically

worse. This isn't exactly original thought but they did have the balls to

come out and say it.) And I read it while walking home, having been run

over once while not reading the paper I can state with confidence that it

is infinitely safer to cross the street reading the paper than it is to do

so after looking both ways. I got to the park kitty-corner to my street

and got in one round of Bocce with the Paisan and went home.

--

Myrkury

"love is a river running soul deep"

A. Chilton

Ever wonder why the music business is so fucked up? This is from the liner

notes of "Soul Deep":

About Rick Allen, the bass player "An individualist who always does whats

best for the group." This description was supposed to make 14 year old

girls get all wet.