From: iceknife@bif.com (Iceknife)

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Monster Island Beach Party is dead

Date: Thu, 27 Jul 95 02:28:26 PDT

 

pssst... yeah, you... pissypants... c'mere!

naw, rilly, it's ok, c'mere, kid...

ok. siddown. this may take a sec.

 

I'm the only friend you've ever had, or ever will, and *I* hate yer weak

and worthless guts, so you need to LISTEN UP, mildew muffin.

 

Bobbies are these dopey little groupies who think the church is "hip" and

a "funny joke". They wear "Bob" shirts, and buy the stuff, and annoy us

at public events. They're like prawns... not much meat, a bitch to clean,

but they ARE a viable food source. They serve a FUCKING PURPOSE. Do you

see where this is going? SURE ya do!

 

YOU, nit-wit-twit-git, are USELESS. You're annoying, NEVER funny or even

a LITTLE bit clever, and generally unwanted by the your own goddamn DNA.

 

I rarely say this to anyone, but for you I make a special exception:

just go away. take creative writing courses, study comedy, drama, satire,

and critical discourse... then become your own kapa vampire and use a

bike pump to suck all your blood out yer rectum. Slide around in it in a

really hilarious keystone cops kinda three stooges kinda slapstick way.

die of blood loss. have someone who'd at least a LITTLE skilled and/or

interesting (who's, I mean... you don't warrant rewrites) write about it.

lie forgotten in a shallow grave. and have a nice day.

 

YOU are READY to become a MAJOR taxidermy model!

ICEKNIFE

... PINKS ARE NOT EVEN BOBBIES! SASE & $1 TO: P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX

... 75214