From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Iceknife)
Subject: Re: Monster Island Beach Party is dead
Date: Thu, 27 Jul 95 02:28:26 PDT
pssst... yeah, you... pissypants... c'mere!
naw, rilly, it's ok, c'mere, kid...
ok. siddown. this may take a sec.
I'm the only friend you've ever had, or ever will, and *I* hate yer weak
and worthless guts, so you need to LISTEN UP, mildew muffin.
Bobbies are these dopey little groupies who think the church is "hip" and
a "funny joke". They wear "Bob" shirts, and buy the stuff, and annoy us
at public events. They're like prawns... not much meat, a bitch to clean,
but they ARE a viable food source. They serve a FUCKING PURPOSE. Do you
see where this is going? SURE ya do!
YOU, nit-wit-twit-git, are USELESS. You're annoying, NEVER funny or even
a LITTLE bit clever, and generally unwanted by the your own goddamn DNA.
I rarely say this to anyone, but for you I make a special exception:
just go away. take creative writing courses, study comedy, drama, satire,
and critical discourse... then become your own kapa vampire and use a
bike pump to suck all your blood out yer rectum. Slide around in it in a
really hilarious keystone cops kinda three stooges kinda slapstick way.
die of blood loss. have someone who'd at least a LITTLE skilled and/or
interesting (who's, I mean... you don't warrant rewrites) write about it.
lie forgotten in a shallow grave. and have a nice day.
YOU are READY to become a MAJOR taxidermy model!
... PINKS ARE NOT EVEN BOBBIES! SASE & $1 TO: P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX