So you think you're free from the oppression and tyranny of the CON, do you?
Why don't we try a little test to see if what you desperately
hope to be true really is? Don't worry, I won't expect you to actually
do this -- I already can predict the outcome -- I just want you to
imagine it and see how you react.
Unless you have 20/10 vision and more room in your television viewing
room than a three car garage, it's less than 20 feet from your
television to where you sit and watch it. Seven to ten paces depending
on leg length, traditional foot binding, etc. It takes you all of 10
seconds to make it A L L T H E W A Y over to it. The caloric
output for such a minute effort doesn't even show up on those charts
that diet and exercise freaks like to memorize.
So why the remote control? If it's so easy to get up and go over to
it, why do you need to sit and operate it from far away? Oh, I can
smell the smoke from those fires of rationalization burning already --
you're going to say it gives you Slack to sit back and make it all
happen. And you know, that's true. EXCEPT.
Sure, you get Slack from it. But where does that Slack go? It sits
there in a lump with you and evaporates in the glare of the CRT,
because you don't USE it. Slack is NOT a force, it's an EXPERIENCE. It
CAN'T be stored. You use it, or it's wasted.
Now, since you're not using it, guess who is? You got it, the CON is
sitting there on the other side of the screen, just PEELING the Slack
from your bones. While you're sitting there getting it from your
voluntary inability to stand up, they're STEALING IT from you, right
out from under you, IN YOUR VERY LIVING ROOM.
They're stealing it from you by encouraging you to KEEP sitting there
and experiencing hour after hour of mind sucking drivel. JHVH-1 FORBID
you should get distracted by something else. Why, then you might start
to THINK, or even DO SOMETHING, other than ingest the programming that
creates good little consumers out of your emptied shells.
As long as your plan of action is inaction, they have you. The choices
you get from using your remote control is in which channels to watch,
not whether to watch. Yes, there's a power button on it. But you don't
use it nearly as much as you'd use the one on the set if you could
actually break yourselves away from the cushions. The idea of the
remote is to keep sitting there, and as long as you're still sitting
there, why, what else is there to do? As long as they KEEP you remote,
they keep you under their control.
So here's what I want you to try. I'd really prefer you try to do this
to get the full effect of it. Knowing how likely this is, 99 out of
100 of you will just have to imagine it. Which PROVES THE POINT I'M
ABOUT TO MAKE.
SMASH your remote control. Just crush it under your heel. Roll over it
with the car, bash it with a hammer, launch it with a nine iron, throw
it at the wall, just do whatever it takes to break it into lots of
small, inoperative pieces. Destroy the device that pins you to your
Not easy to take, is it? Your mind searches for excuses, your gut
broils, your palms sweat. It's OK, that's a natural reaction -- to
TRYING TO BREAK FREE OF THE CONSPIRACY PROGRAMMING YOU REFUSE TO ADMIT
RUNS YOUR LIFE. And that's just from imagining it. If you really tried
it, you'd also be quickly remorseful and angry, and planning on how to
go about getting another one, even before the adrenalin wears off.
Freedom sucks if you're not ready for it.
Remote. They're MILES away, and they're still pulling your strings.
Control. They don't make you do anything except make you WANT to do
what THEY want you to do.
Even the most dedicated Rewardian requires either Emergentile
behaviors if not an Emergentile present to help them to process the
Slack they accumulate. You can sit there in a pile, but Slack won't.
It's fleeting, constantly in motion. If this weren't so, the
CONspiracy could capture it, bottle it and sell it. And then, THEY
WOULDN'T NEED YOU ANY MORE. They have a fine reputation for destroying
things that they need -- things they don't need get relabled as
garbage. (What's a weed? A flower without official CON recognition).
You can't soak in Slack. You have to LIVE it. And when you're plugged
into the tube, you aren't living; you're the high end of an electronic
IV feeding YOUR Slack into the CONspiracy Stupidity Box. The little
they let you keep is tainted. It's poisoned with the blue glow that
keeps you going back to give MORE and MORE. They've managed to turn
your "Bob" given Slack into FALSE Slack. And we all know that kind
Remote. You'll probably never meet the people who benefit from your
ass growing wider than the Lazy Boy seat -- they fly in higher circles
than the wide bodied hulks they're getting you to become.
Control. Your heartbeat is slower and more regular now. The panic
reaction is over. You know this message will end soon and your life
will be as it was before. Soft. Safe.
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius
Life is a game. Money is how we keep score.