[ Article reposted from alt.conspiracy,alt.activism ]

[ Author was Brian Redman <bigxc@prairienet.org> ]

[ Posted on 12 Jun 1997 15:26:19 GMT ]

 

 

 

Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 10 Num. 66

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("Quid coniuratio est?")

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Enraged Feminists Demand

"SEX ATTACKS BY SPACE ALIENS MUST STOP!"

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(Source for the following is "The Weekly World News" (WWN),

available at fine grocery stores everywhere. Due to the nature

of the source, readers are advised to take that into

consideration when they evaluate what follows.)

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"We're fed up with space aliens abducting women and subjecting

them to filthy attacks," said Anita Kless, 42, head of an action

group called Earth Women Against Alien Brutality. (WWN, 5/27/97)

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Tokyo -- Japanese employers are allegedly killing some of their

unproductive workers. Here is how the "termination" process is

said to work: Workers get evaluated every six months. If their

rating is too low, they are put on probation. If a subsequent

rating remains sub-standard, the employee is summoned to a

special office. It is suggested to him that the "honorable" act

he must do is jump out the window, to his death. If he refuses

to cooperate, security guards are summoned and, reportedly, he is

thrown out the window. (WWN, 5/27/97)

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Satanic forces are allegedly taking over the music business,

"just like there are evil people who try to influence other

businesses all over the world." (WWN, 5/27/97)

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"Monkeypox," a virus reported to have a long incubation period

(carriers at first difficult to detect) may soon spread from

Africa to the United States. The disease is reportedly deadly.

(WWN, 5/27/97)

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News of an anti-gravity machine comes from London, where

scientists say they have used an extremely powerful magnetic

field to levitate a frog. Nottingham University physics

professor Peter Main claims the magnetic field counteracts

gravity. (WWN, 6/3/97)

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Latest yuppie craze is reportedly paying $5 entrance fee to watch

public executions -- beheadings -- in Saudi Arabia. (WWN, 6/3/97)

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Cloning has allegedly been used to replicate an alien, using

cells taken from an extraterrestrial killed in the 1947 UFO crash

near Roswell, New Mexico. UFO researcher Adrian McCourt

reportedly learned of the project from a source inside the Area

51 facility in Nevada. (WWN, 6/3/97)

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Gang members in the Bronx, New York, are reportedly heavily

armed, with weapons said to include Uzi submachine guns,

bazookas, and grenade launchers. (WWN, 6/3/97)

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In Los Angeles, some parents are reportedly using electronic

collars to restrict their children. The device goes around the

child's neck. If he or she tries to cross an invisible

electronic perimeter, an electric shock is received. (WWN,

6/10/97)

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A strange disease being reported in Africa softens hipbones until

victims cannot stand upright. The disease, at present, is

confined locally, amongst the Zulu tribe. "It is one of the

greatest medical mysteries I know of," claims Dr. Hannes Both of

Cape Town. (WWN, 6/10/97)

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Reports of space aliens sighted at the former Heaven's Gate

headquarters in San Diego, site of the alleged "mass suicide."

Law enforcement officials reportedly have been "besieged with

calls telling of low-flying spacecraft" in the area. (WWN,

6/10/97)

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Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt.

Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et

pauperem. -- Liber Proverbiorum XXXI: 8-9

 

 

--

 

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First Online Church of "Bob" "There is no black and white."

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