Interesting occurences in the "real world":

"The Conspiracy is Christ without a penis."- Mark Mothersbaugh

"Last year when a senior stamp official saw the final mock-up for this

year's Madonna and Child stamp, he was appalled. The stamp, taken from

a much-acclaimed Italian painting called "Adoration of the Shepherds" by

Paolo de Matteis, was too graphic for contemporary tastes, he said. It

may have been acceptable for a large canvas in Naples in 1712, but the

official declared it would be offensive on a 32-cent stamp that would go

to millions of homes in America in 1996. So postal artists pulled out

an airbrush and blocked out a portion of the frontal view of the nude

Christ child."

Turns out they put it back, seeing as how the stamps aren't supposed to

be a religious thing anyhow, but a "commemoration of great art", and it

only amounted to a teeny dot on the stamp anyhow. I love the

"contemporary tastes" thing, though. The idea that modern America is

somehow MORE CONSERVATIVE than Naples in 1712.

On a completely different subject, except it also has to do with the

newspaper, the Courier-Journal occasionally attempts to do cutting

exposes about local events. A couple weeks ago they devoted a huge

in-depth feature to some corpulent wretch who was supposedly inspiring

kids to huff, or something. A bunch of stupid white gangsta wannabes,

basically. And they went on about this in the most hushed and reverent

tones, of course.

Well, today their BIG SHOCKING EXPOSE was that Denny Crum, U of L

basketball coach, WOULDN'T LET GIRLS BE BALL GIRLS. Their tone of

righteous indignation was undercut somewhat, though, by the fact that he

changed his mind under pressure from the head of U of L before the story

was set to run, though. Still, the paper got to go on about what a big

old meanie Denny Crum was. If I was a wag, I would point out that this

was not entirely inappropriate, because girls do not, in fact, have

balls, but in deference to the gravity of this situation, I will

refrain.

Also, adding to the pantheon of STUPID DEAD ROCK STAR RUMOURS, Chuck D

is insisting that Tupac Shakur faked his death. Nobody yet has come

forth to propose that Eazy E faked his death, however, or indeed why the

guys on my floor during my freshman year kept repeating the phrase,

"Eazy E, why do you wear your pants that way?", and then laughing

maniacally.

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GOD IS NOT MOCKED