Place your right hand over a hot mug of joe and recite
the following words.
Swear that they are true, and you will feel better. At
least for a couple of minutes, anyway.
COFFEE LOVERS CREDO
I believe
COFFEE
is
a divine creation
Existing to wash the mind, body, and soul
of all badness and things that are bad-like.
I believe
that the pure truth found through coffee
can only be found
at the bottom of a cup
at 6:30 am, Monday morning.
I solemnly swear
to pledge my allegience
to the
6 APOSTLES OF DIVINE CAFFEINATION
Arabica
Robusta
Expresso
Cappucino
Machiatto
Doppia
and to
other
Fine Grounds
I believe
and will faithfully abide
by the unwritten rule of NO INSTANT EVER!!
Instant coffee is surely the devil's handiwork.
I promise
I will not drink in haste.
But if I must, I will ceremoniously
take a quick swig and then swear out loud
when my break is over.
I promise
to clean my coffee machines regularly
and dutifully follow
my product maintenance agreement.
I hereby declare that
Cream is ok.
I promise to recite as I rise every morning,
in rain, or shine,
in sleet and snow
the following words:
"If it weren't for the coffee, I'd be dead."
Let it be known that these are the ground rules by which I must abide.