TOAD

(aka Epileptic Televangelic Blues)

Lyrics: Brach Rauchle

My fish jumped out the water,
my dog done hit the road.
My pigs they led to slaughter,
I done got me a big fat toad.

Well he can sing, and dance a jubilee.

My toad he croaks a story, 
like no one else can tell.
Might think you’re bound for glory,
turns out you’re damned to hell.

Well he can see, you know he’s got the key.

My toad he likes the water,
like it good and hot.
Got a hot tub he done ordered,
fill the blank space on his yacht.
My toad he’s very clean,
cleanest you’ve ever seen, got a brand new suit.
But he can get pretty mean,
 mean about that green,
  gotta file a lawsuit.

He can slip, and slide himself around.

My toad he got connections,
got his own TV network.
Got a direct line to Jesus,
he can fix you if you’re hurt.
So send in your donation,
I can fix you up today.
My toad he’ll place an order,
get you on your feet someday.

He gets around