THE OFFICIAL LLAMA LLINEUP FOR THE FIRST ANNUAL "FACTORY LLAMA WARS"
PALM BEACH
official entry list

Name: Kasseri
Team: Boatkitten & Rx4FlaFun
Excellent navigator of the "deep Vee", Kasseri can easily beat the best. In her rookie season (but a veteran of the waves) Kasseri holds the top points position. Regardless of her name, she's not cheesy.
Sponsors: Maybellama Llong Llash Mascara (no smudging)

Name: Alpo
Team: LawyersRus (Mike A.)
DNF in the Sarasota Race after a collision with Holy Bull....Ligitation ia pending. Alpo swears not to put up with any BS in Palm Beach. Sponsor: American Barhoppers Association.

Name: Aronow
Team: Harry L.
A newcomer to the SLOW scene, this llama comes with tradition in it's name.
Sponsor: none needed, the name says it all

Name: Bananallama
Team: Team RUSS
Another newcomer, Bananallama is sponsored by Del Monte's Topless Bar in New Port Richey, FL. Another party animal, just what the sport needs.

Name: Bayllama
Team: Mike Jenkins
Rumored to hang out with the "Hollywood " crowd, this entry is a West Coast newcomer.
Sponsor: TOP SECRET

Name: Bad Bertha
Team: Mike Lee
She's BIG, she's BAD...don't get in her way
Sponsor: The WWF

Name: Bucky
Team: Mr. Offshore/Llama ReHab
Bucky, the long lost Chicago llama, is coming out of ReHab for this event after years of seclusion after a nasty downtown incident that had caused Post Traumatic Lunacy PTL. (PTL aren't they in jail?) We expect a tearful reunion with Mr. Offshore, and Bucky says as long as they don't use a gun to start the race, he'll win easily.
Sponsor: Llamaland ReHAb

Name:Elimillama
Team: Ben Curtis
Another West Coaster, (as if they have a chance in a real ocean like the Atlantic) Elimillama says he'll eliminate the competition.
Sponsor: needed

Name: Flamenco
Team: H82LUZ1
Fifth place finisher in Sarasota, this self proclaimed "gang llama" would have finished much better had he kept his temper in control. SLOW is trying to prevent him from carrying a gun in Palm Beach, as he has been heard to ask "Where's Bucky....knowhatImsayun?" (throwing up gang signs)
Sponsor: rapper/smoker Tupac Saday

Name: GEEZER
Team: NOLA PLOD
An LLama from the North East...Geezer, the worlds oldest living llama. May not make the race. Rumored to need mouth to mouth...No volunteers yet.
Sponsor: Geritol

Name: Goodfellama
Team: Team CoolWhip
The "Godfather" of Llamadom, supposedly is bringing the family, to make sure the other llamas see things his way. Sponsor: Crazy Carter's Street Sweepers

Name: Gurdie
Team: Billy Badarse
Gurdie, the "trailer trash" llama....DNF in Sarasota because Mrs. Badarse was there hunting for Billy. It is unknown whether Mrs. B will be in Palm beach. Sponsored by Moe's Doublewide Heaven, Miami, FL.

Name: Holy Bull
Team: Boobs' Factory Racing Alpacas
After a strong third place finish in Sarasota, this potentially illegal entry has been testing at Farm X, but has refused any comment or interview. Inspector A. Corn says he won't be so lenient this time around.

Name: Irish O'Llama
Team: J. J. O'Tooles Drunken Llamers
Another newcomer, we doubt this entry will pass the breathylizer test on race morning.
SPonsor: Guinness Breweries

Name: Llamabout
Team: LAM700X
Llamabout is a sturdy entry that may just suprise everybody. Little is known about this team, so time will tell. Sponsor: Skeeter Racing Runabouts

Name: LlamaLliner
Team: Kent.P/Bayliner
The Bayliner sponsored entry, shown here scratching fleas, is representing "the best selling boat in the world" according to it's teammate Kent P. Can it handle the Atlantic?
Sponsor: Flea-away

Name: Llamotion
Team: Eric E/ Engler Racing Engines
Llamotion, sporting new colors for this race (not shown yet) is confident that it's powerplants will be the deciding factor in this race. May wear the new stylish Kevlar undies) Sponsored by Engler Racing Engines

Name: MOONPIE
Team: AOF/PropNut
MoonPie, the "Clueless llama" missed a turn in Sarasota and finished seventh, but teammates Propnut and the AOF contingent are confident that MoonPie has it together enough to win in Palm Beach. They have a new sponsor, but don't remember who.

Name: RabiesVac
Team: Laser
Laser's entry, RabiesVac, currently in second place in points, says he'll bite anybody that gets in his way. Scary stuff. Sponsor: yeah right

Name: Scarallama
Team: Mike C.
Scarallama is auditioning their new Scaab racing boat, and predict that Velocity's and Bayliners won't have a chance. Sponsored by Wallyworld boats.

Name: SeaDad
Team: Jr.Vet/Andrew Corn
After sitting out the last race over potential conflicts of interest, SLOW has determined that Jr.Vet and A.Corn are eligible to enter the Palm Beach Offshore War. Jr.Vet will be carrying her trusty scalpel, and Andrew will have his rule book. Cheaters and seal breakers beware. Sponsor: NC State College of Veterinary Medicine

Name: Ugllamy
Team: Ric/Team Ugly
With a potentially illegal nitrous tank (note lump on head) the worlds ugliest llama will be scrutinized very carefully before the start of the race. Sponsor:desperate

Name: Weenie Huffer
Team: GOBB24
What can we say about Weeniehuffer...GOBB24's Texas buddy. Left Sarasota under a tarp, questions still remain about whether Weenies seals have been broken. As this is a family sport, Weenie may be barred for life if a repeat of Sarasota behavior occurs.
(see Bad Weenie) Sponsor: unknown

Name: SuperLLama
Team:Team USER
Status: disqualified...no camelid genes found
After being busted for tryng to enter the race illegally , USER has apologized and requested another chance. (see below) A. Corns' decision is pending.

Name: Speedbump
Team: USER

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PALM BEACH RESULTS