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The Art of Shoveling Snow

by Scott Vail

Driveway Snow Many mysteries surround this ancient art form handed down from generation to generation. For many, in today's society, will never reap the pleasure having not resided in a habitat rich with abundant snowfall. Those of you know who your are and have chosen climates not inherent to temperatures that lend themselves to this variety of precipitation. Most of us are aware that it is next to impossible to shovel rain. Snow is a distant relative to rain with numerous variations thereof. Hail, sleet, and freezing rain are the phenomena that exist as what comprises the difference between snow and rain.

What warrants snow? There are many theories behind the actual cause of this interesting weather pattern. I have chosen to adopt that at which time it's cold enough and clouds are present for the release of moisture, the end result will be snow. This could manifest itself initally in the form of rain turning to snow and will surely complicate the difficulty in its removal process. The season will also play a factor into ones approach to the task. Fall and spring tend to be wetter forms and hence a hightened energy level will be expended during these months.

The implements: The obvious but not least expensive is the snow shovel. This comes in a variety of styles and makes. The brand is inconsequential. The market is flooded for ones personal preference and requirements. The blade comes in many materials to include plastic, aluminum, and hardened steel. The shape and size of the blade too will be a factor. Wider will displace more of the material while it becomes more difficult in moving this during times of heavier snow. This can be somewhat offset in the choice of blade construction. For example, aluminum is lighter than steel. The handle is typically of wood or metal construction with or without a handle for maintaining the human grip. Other choices for removal of snow include the snow blower. As with the shovel, there are a variety of choices in this selection. From horsepower ratings to a power driven tractor tread. The snow is removed from its surface by a reel similar to that of lawnmower. It is then impelled upward and outward. The distance thrown is directly relative to the horsepower rating. A word of caution; for those with rock driveways replacement costs for windows could soar dramatically during winter months. Snow blowers are manufactured by a number of well known companies such as John Deere, Sears, and Honda. The author was unaware at this writing that Japan received significant snowfall. Perhaps this is a marketing ploy. Word has it that Harley Davidson research developers are projecting a 80 CI big VTwin riding blower. Inside sources indicate that it will be marketed with a rigid frame for the nostalgic flair. Be aware that the waiting list could exceed two years. Another form of snow removal includes a large apparatus resembling a blade that also requires a motorized vehicle, preferably of the four wheel drive class. This is designed for the true sportsman whose testesterone levels require constant attention. Often this enthusiast has a complement of riding tractors and perhaps a front loader for those times materials other than snow require movement. This individual is easily identified since his vehicle will be equipped with headlight extentions and a multitude of other hardware designed for attaching his appendage. Lastly, I alluded to a methodology cheaper than the snow shovel. This alternative would be the heat exuded from the sun. This is designed for the truly lazy, thrifty, and patient. For even the heartiest of winters, spring is not all that many months away.

Mailbox Snow The rules: A few rules to follow when shoveling snow. Observe the two person rule. Ensure both parties are certified in the area of Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation. Snow is more predominant at higher elevations and much care should be taken. Appropriate clothing should be worn. Birkenstocks equate to the Reduced Digit Index Syndrome more commonly known as RDIS. Be fully aware that perspiration can develop in sub-zero climates. Always take a cordless phone when shoveling snow. Interruptions are construed as highly welcomed phases of the overall process to the seasoned shoveler.

What to expect: A neighbor will invariably venture out to visit while the process is taking place. This neighbor will frequently be walking a dog. Always note the absence of his/her shovel. He/she will offer tips and often ridicule the fact that your native surroundings were void of this activity. While shoveling, you will also detect the sound of a Briggs and Stratton. This will be the sound of another resident's power snowblower. Do not let this distress your outlook in any fashion. This disquiet will dissipate far before the conclusion of your own endeavor. This particular individual will not propose the use of his/her instrument of choice on your driveway. This is done in good faith as respect to the other occupants who enjoy the solitude of the community.

Some Do' and Dont's: Although it may seem attractive, do not shovel when snow remains in the forecast. Do not, if all possible, drive upon the material prior to its removal. In the event this occurs, the equipment list will lengthen to include the purchase of a pick ax. Your neighbor's front loader can be an alternative to this course of action. Do consider the square footage of areas requiring removal when purchasing a home in a locale borne of snow. Do not piss off the county employee who pilots the snowplow. For He is aware of the precise location where the public thoroughfare and your driveway intersect. And in conclusion, do practice the artform in a manner as it has been passed down from the generations. For it is an ancient lore and its true meaning is being lost in the demand for technological breakthrough.

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."

-Fran Lebowitz